On The Dark Side
by Sparkle731
Summary: There's a new cult in town that's even more sinister than Simon Marcus and they want Starsky. As As a special treat for my loyal readers. Story is now complete! Final three chapters posted.
1. Chapter 1

**ON THE DARK SIDE**

**There's a new cult in town that's even more sinister than Simon Marcus and they want Starsky.**

_**WARNING: This is a extremely dark tale with some very graphic scenes of violence and sexual abuse including male rape. If this subject offends you, then PLEASE DO NOT READ! Also, some of the chapters in this story have some very strong warnings based on their content. Please be aware of these warnings! Read them carefully and take heed before deciding if you are comfortable with reading that particular chapter. **_

_**This story was written for everyone who reads my stories and reviews them. This is my gift to you for being so patient and understanding during the past few months when R/L issues severely limited my internet access.**_

_**Beta Read by Megan**_

**CHAPTER 1**

The body lay at the bottom of the ravine, displayed in a grotesque posture that made a mockery of sexual seduction. A gaping slash slit the victim's throat, almost severing the head. A similar slash down the mid-section exposed the intestines and other internal organs. Strange markings had been cut into the flesh of the victim's legs and arms, symbols that obviously meant something to the killer.

Detective David Starsky's gaze swept over the body with a trained eye. Nearby, a young rookie was bent over, losing his lunch into the bushes. This was obviously his first experience at a murder scene. Even a hardened veterans like Starsky and his partner, Detective Kenneth Hutchinson, were affected by the sight of the fragile victim, a young girl barely out of her teens. This was the fourth body that had been discovered in recent weeks under similar conditions. This murder, like the ones before it, had all the earmarks of a ritualistic sacrifice. It looked as if there was a new cult operating somewhere in Bay City.

"They didn't leave us much to go on." Starsky said dryly as he straightened up and looked at his partner and best friend.

"They never do." Hutch commented with a final glance at the unfortunate victim. He nodded at the coroner's crew to let them know that they were finished examining the crime scene. The other two men quickly moved in to put the body into a body bag for transport to the morgue.

"This whole thing smells like Marcus and his band of crazies," Starsky growled as they started walking up the hill to the road where Starsky had parked his car. Simon Marcus was the leader of a murderous cult that had terrorized the Bay City area for months until Starsky and Hutch finally busted him. In retaliation, his followers had kidnapped Starsky and held him prisoner for over twenty-four hours during which they had tortured him relentlessly, threatening to kill him if Marcus was not released. Hutch had found him and rescued him in the nick of time but the ordeal had left Starsky shaky and suffering from recurring nightmares for weeks afterwards. The recent string of murders had caused Starsky's memories of his ordeal to resurface. The similarities were just too coincidental to ignore.

"Marcus and most of those nuts are still behind bars." Hutch reminded him. "This looks more like a copycat."

"Terrific. That's just what we need." Starsky grumbled as he unlocked the door on the driver's side of his car, a Ford Gran Torino. The Torino was an eye-catching car. It's custom paint job was a candle apple red polished to a high gloss, with a foot wide white racing stripe running across the roof just in front of the rear window, down both sides and then forward, tapering to points at the front of the vehicle. The dark haired detective climbed under the wheel and leaned over to unlock the other door for his partner. Dirt and gravel sprayed from beneath the rear tires as Starsky pulled onto the pavement and sped away.

With over nine years experience as a police officer, the brunet didn't get easily rattled but this case had him badly shaken. The memories of his ordeal at the hands of Simon Marcus had left him traumatized and he didn't relish the thought of dealing with another cult that dabbled in murder. He knew first hand how dangerous and unpredictable cult members could be, especially if their leader was anything like Marcus. Marcus was a sadist who had preyed on the vulnerable minds of his followers, using brainwashing and drugs to keep them in line.

A comfortable silence fell between the two friends as Starsky drove back to police headquarters. Best friends since the Police Academy, the two men had been partners for over seven years. As undercover detectives, their beat was the inner city where they dealt with the worst dregs of society on a daily basis. They were known as hard-nosed detectives that you didn't want to cross. But, they also had the reputation of being fair and men that you could trust if you were in a bind.

They were stationed at the Metropolitan Division of the Bay City Police Department. It was an older building located in downtown Bay City. Starsky pulled into his customary parking spot directly in front of the main entrance. The two men climbed out of the Torino and walked up the front steps into the building. They were greeted casually by several uniformed officers as they crossed to the elevator and stepped inside. Hutch pressed the button for the third floor where the detective squad room was located.

The robbery/homicide division of the BCPD consisted of six teams of detectives who all worked undercover. By reputation alone, Starsky and Hutch were considered the best team on the squad and were often given the more high profile cases to work on. Over the years, their diligence and hard work had paid off, but they had paid the price with blood, sweat and tears, as well as more than a few personal sacrifices of their own. Both single by choice, they had seen more than one relationship end because of the long, unpredictable hours they put in and the danger they faced every day. Starsky's own fiancée had been murdered by a man seeking revenge against the curly haired detective.

As they entered the squad room, a large square room with several long tables arranged in a row, they were greeted warmly by the other men working on their own cases. Some were talking on the phones, while others were reviewing files or writing out their daily reports. Hutch paused to pour himself a cup of coffee from the pot sitting against one wall of the squad room. As if alerted to their presence in the squad room by a sixth sense, the voice of their Captain, Harold Dobey, bellowed from his office. "Starsky! Hutchinson! Get in here!"

They exchanged an amused glance as they walked into Captain Dobey's office. Starsky hooked the door with his left foot and pulled it closed, much to his Captain's chagrin.

"Starsky!" the big black man growled "How many times have I told you not to shut the door like that?"

"Sorry, Cap." Starsky said good naturedly, as Hutch sat down in one of the two wooden chairs facing Dobey's desk. Starsky casually perched on the arm of the chair beside his friend and looked at Dobey expectantly. He reached out and accepted the cup that Hutch handed to him and took a sip before handing it back to his partner. Dobey ignored the gesture. He was accustomed to the partners habit of sharing the same seat in this manner or even the same cup of coffee, a mute testament to the unique closeness that the two friends shared. It was a closeness that was sometimes misread by their peers leading to whispered rumors that they were more than just friends.

"What's up, Captain?" Hutch inquired.

"The Commissioner is breathing down my neck about these murders. Any new leads?" Dobey demanded, glaring at his favored team of detectives.

"Not yet. But, we're working on it." Starsky told him grimly, his mouth drawn into a hard, thin line.

"They definitely appear to be cult related." Hutch interjected smoothly. "So far they've all been young females between the ages of twelve and nineteen. The latest victim appears to be in her late teens to early twenties."

"And they've all been butchered in pretty much the same way." Starsky added. "And they all had the same symbols carved on their bodies."

"So they are all definitely cult related." Dobey surmised

"It looks that way." Hutch told him with a nod of his head. "We've identified a group that's been operating downtown in the past few weeks that may be part of the cult. We've trying to find a way to get close to them and see what we can find out."

"Well, try harder." Dobey ordered gruffly. "I want this case cleared up fast before any more bodies turn up. The press is having a field day comparing this bunch to Simon Marcus."

"One of us could always pretend to be interested in joining up." Starsky suggested casually. Dobey and Hutch both shot the brunet a speculative look. Dobey appeared to be considering the idea while Hutch's expression clearly showed his disapproval at the notion.

"Do you think you could pull it off?" Dobey asked thoughtfully. His question was obviously directed at the brunet and not the disgruntled blond.

"Sure." Starsky said confidently, deliberately ignoring the warning glare his partner was sending him. "Piece of cake."

"We need to talk about this first, partner." Hutch said firmly, putting a particular emphasis on the word partner. Without any further conversation, he shoved himself to his feet and strode out of the room, clearly stating his objections to the proposed plan.

"Well, catch up with him!" Dobey ordered Starsky. "And decide how you're going to handle this! I don't want you going in there half cocked and unprepared!"

"Yes, sir." Starsky said, bouncing to his feet and trailing after his retreating partner.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Starsky exited the Captain's office in time to see Hutch disappearing through the squad room doors into the hallway. He hurried to catch up with his rapidly retreating partner. He grabbed Hutch's arm to slow him down.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Starsky asked

"You know what's wrong!" Hutch said in the cold, aloof tone that Starsky hated.

"You don't have to do this!"

"Somebody has to stop these creeps from killing any more kids."

"It doesn't have to be you!"

"Look, why don't we go back to my place and we can talk about it. Okay?" Starsky said, trying to pacify his obviously upset and angry partner.

"We should have talked about this before you even suggested it to Dobey." Hutch pointed out, his tone still angry.

"You're right. We should have and I'm sorry. We can talk about it now. Okay?"

Truthfully, Starsky wasn't sure of his own motivations for wanting to do this. His previous experiences with Simon Marcus had left him leery of any kind of involvement with a cult.

Hutch continued his walk down the hallway heading towards the elevator. Taking his silence as a temporary truce, Starsky walked by his side. They left the building and climbed into the Torino, driving in continued silence towards Starsky's apartment. The silence between them was no longer strained but comfortable and familiar as Hutch's anger cooled.

Starsky lived on a narrow cannon road in an area that appeared secluded and remote but was actually well within the city limits and only a short distance from all of his favorite conveniences. He parked in front of the attached garage and the two friends walked up the wide wooden steps to the deck. Starsky used his house key to unlock the door and they stepped inside.

Starsky's apartment was large and spacious, built on an open floor plan with the living room at one end of the main room and the kitchen area at the other end. The bedroom was in a separate room along with the adjoining bathroom. Starsky shrugged out of his favorite black leather jacket and hung it neatly in the closet, along with his shoulder harness with his Smith and Wesson nestled in the holster. Hutch likewise shed his own tan leather jacket and shoulder harness with his own holstered 350 magnum. He casually tossed them at the end of the sofa. Starsky immediately picked them up and hung them in the closet with his own.

"Why don't you grab us a couple of beers," he suggested "While I call for a pizza? I'm starving."

"You're always starving." Hutch chided him, his good humor restored. "Just make my half vegetarian, not all that other crap you usually get."

"I'll just order two. One for you and one for me." Starsky said "And you can pay for it. I sprang for it the last time."

"In that case, get some breadsticks and a salad too with low fat ranch dressing on the side." Hutch said, as he wandered into the kitchen to grab a six pack of cold beer from the refrigerator.

"Yes, Mom." Starsky said with a grin, familiar after so many years with his partner's addiction to health food. Unlike Starsky who kept his trim, muscular build with very little effort, Hutch had to work at keeping the pounds off. Besides his health food diet, he also jogged five miles every morning and drank a disgusting shake for breakfast that he made himself. Hutch had tricked Starsky into drinking one once and even his cast iron stomach had felt nauseated for the rest of the day.

Hutch waited until after their food had arrived and they had eaten before bringing up the subject of Starsky going undercover to try and infiltrate the cult again.

"I still don't like the idea." he stated flatly.

"I know you don't. Do you have a better idea on how we can get close to them?"

Starsky said calmly.

"No." Hutch reluctantly admitted. "But you're going to need a good cover to get you in and we need a way to keep in touch in case something goes wrong."

"I figured I could say that I lost my job and that the cops keep hassling me because I don't have any place to go. Drop hints that I'm looking for a place to crash for awhile where I feel like I fit in."

"That could work. But, how are we going to stay in touch while you're out there on your own?"

"How about Huggy? I could get a message to him without raising any suspicions. Everyone on the streets knows that Huggy is a soft touch for anybody with a hard luck story." Starsky suggested, using the name of a friend and a valuable source of information for the two detectives.

"Okay…we'll use Huggy but if neither Huggy or me hears from you for forty-eight hours, then I'm storming the place with full reinforcements and I still want you to call me with updates whenever you can."

"Jeeze, Hutch…you sound like my mother." Starsky complained with a chuckle. He was well aware of how worried the big blond got whenever Starsky worked a case alone without Hutch by his side for backup, even though they were both competent detectives who could get the job done independently when need be. "Okay. Deal. And I promise to brush my teeth and say my prayers before I go to bed."

"Very funny, Gordo." Hutch replied with an answering chuckle. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid without calling for backup first."

"Who, me?" Starsky said with an innocent expression on his face.

"Yes, you." Hutch said, well aware of his partner's impetuous and sometimes reckless behavior. He pointed what Starsky jokingly referred to as the Hutchinson finger at his laughing partner. "Promise me."

"Okay, I promise." Starsky agreed with his trademark grin. "Are we good now?"

"I still don't like it." Hutch said, determined to get in the last word and to voice his continued objections. "Are you sure you're not doing this because of what happened with Marcus?" He chose his words carefully. Starsky's volatile temper was legendary, especially when his professional judgment was questioned.

Starsky's eyes narrowed slightly as he gazed at Hutch but he held his temper in check. He knew that Hutch was only concerned about his safety and well being. After all, the big blond had suffered right along with him in the aftermath of his ordeal at the hands of the Marcus cult. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Okay, so maybe part of this has to do with what happened with Marcus." he admitted "Maybe I need to prove to myself that I won and he didn't. But that still doesn't change anything."

"Just as long as you remember and don't forget for a second how dangerous these guys can be." Hutch warned him unnecessarily.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to forget that." The two friends exchanged a glance that spoke volumes without either one of them saying a word. "Hey, why don't you crash here tonight? I don't feel like driving you all the way back to your place."

"Sounds good to me." Hutch readily agreed.

It wasn't unusual for one of them to spend the night at the other one's apartment, especially if they were too tired or had had too much to drink to drive home but Starsky sensed that Hutch needed that additional closeness, at least for tonight.

"Good. Then we can lay out our plan for Dobey in the morning and I can go under tomorrow night." Starsky told him.

"That soon?" Hutch said trying to keep the concern from creeping into his voice.

"Yeah, I figure I'll just hang around that neighborhood downtown where the cult's been seen the last couple of weeks and let them get used to seeing me being around before I start acting interested in what they're all about." Starsky explained

"Yeah…right. That makes sense." Hutch conceded.

"I get first dibs on the shower. It might be awhile before I get another one."

The two friends cleaned up the empty pizza boxes and beer cans, then proceeded to do their nightly rituals before turning in for a well deserved rest.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Starsky sighed as he leaned back against the side of the building and surveyed the scene on the street. Hookers lounged on the corner, plying their trade, while their pimps kept a watchful eye. A drunk was passed out in a nearby doorway, snoring loudly, as people passing by on the street pointedly ignored him. Off to Starsky's left, three women and two men that he had identified as members of the cult were panhandling, begging for loose change from strangers. A sixth member of the cult, a man, was standing to one side strumming a guitar and singing, a tin cup sitting on the ground at his feet for change from his passing audience.

For the past three days, Starsky had been roaming the neighborhood, making his presence known to the street people that populated the area. His clothes were dirty and rumpled from sleeping in them while crouched in a nearby doorway and he was in desperate need of a shave and a bath. He scratched at his beard absently and then ran his fingers through his tangled curls. He glanced up as one of the women from the cult, a pretty redhead named Ginger, broke away from her post and walked towards him. Kneeling down in front of him, she smiled and held out a tissue wrapped sandwich from a nearby deli.

"You look like you could use this more than me." she said sweetly. "I've seen you around. You look like you've had a bit of bad luck."

"Look, if you belong to one of those religious groups that tries to convert everybody, then you can keep your sandwich." Starsky said with just the right touch of sarcasm in his voice. He ignored the offered food. "I don't need nobody preaching to me."

"I'm not trying to preach to you." she told him, holding out the sandwich again. "Go on, take it. You look hungry."

"Thanks." Starsky said, accepting the sandwich this time. As he unwrapped the tissue paper, the aroma of corned beef on rye drifted into the air. He took a healthy bite, chewing with pleasure. Ginger rocked back on her heels and watched him eat with a pleased smile on her face. Like most of the other cult members, she was dressed casually, in faded jeans and a tank top. The only thing that marked her as a member of the cult was the distinctive tattoo of a double row of barbed wire around her right wrist with her name inscribed between the two strands..

"I'm Ginger." she said "What's your name?"

Starsky hesitated before answering and then said "David." He deliberately avoided giving her a last name.

"David." Ginger repeated "I like it. It suits you. Where are you from, David?"

"What is this? Twenty questions? Next time you can keep your sandwich if it comes with a bunch of questions."

"There's no need to be so defensive. I was just curious. That's all." Ginger told him with a satisfied smile. Somehow Starsky had the feeling that he had just passed some kind of test. Maybe infiltrating the cult would be easier than he had anticipated.

"It's still none of your business." Starsky told her, deciding to continue playing it by ear.

"That's true. How would you like a place to stay besides out here on the street?" she asked warmly. "My friends and I would be glad to let you stay with us."

"Yeah? What's the catch?"

"There's no catch."

"There's always a catch, lady." Starsky said gruffly. "I didn't ask for your help and I don't need it. I can take care of myself."

"I can see that." Ginger said with an amused smile as she straightened up. "See ya around, David."

Starsky watched though hooded eyes as she rejoined the group and continued panhandling. Initial contact had been made. Now all he had to do was wait and see where it led. Throughout the remainder of the afternoon, he sensed Ginger and the others watching him. He pretended not to notice as he sat there in the shade of the building. They left shortly after five o'clock, walking off in a group towards the downtown area.

Starsky remained where he was until it started to get dark, then he shoved himself to his feet and shuffled down the street in the opposite direction. Twenty minutes later, he entered a bar and grill called _The Pits_ through a back door that led into the kitchen. The bar was owned and operated by Huggy Bear, a tall thin black man that Starsky had known since he was a teenager and had moved to Bay City to live. Originally from New York City, he had been an outcast in his new environment until he met Huggy.

Ignored by the kitchen help, Starsky made his way to the swinging doors that led into the main part of the bar. Opening the door just far enough to catch Huggy's attention, Starsky signaled with his eyes, silently telliing Huggy to join him in the kitchen.

"Diane!" Huggy called to his lead waitress who was busy waiting on customers at the other end of the bar "Take over for a minute." When she nodded in return to his request, he quickly walked over to his friend's side. "Man, Starsky, you look like hell." he said. He wrinkled his nose dramatically "And that sure ain't perfume I smell."

"Thanks, Hug." Starsky said with a grin "Guess that means my cover's working."

Huggy's brown eyes softened with compassion. "Why don't you spend the night upstairs? Nice soft bed and a nice hot shower."

"I'd love to, Hug but I can't. I'm too close. I need you to get in touch with Hutch and tell him that Ginger, one of the girls from the cult, made contact with me today. Tell him that I'll try to call him tomorrow to let him know how it's going."

"You sure you don't want to spend the night upstairs?"

"Positive."

"Then at least hang on while I get you some food to take with you."

"Okay. I can do that." Starsky said, settling down onto a nearby stool. "And give me a beer while I'm waiting."

"You got it." Huggy said with a toothy grin. He walked over to the passover window and called to Diane, "Bring me a cold one, would you?"

Diane came through the doors into the kitchen and handed Starsky a cold draft beer from the bar. Eyeing him curiously, she said,

"Is this a new look for you, Starsky?"

"I'm undercover." he told her with a sly wink. "But don't tell anybody."

"As what? A bum?" Diane asked him with a giggle. "Cause if you are, you're sure good at it." She gave him a wink back and added, "Personally, I like you better the way you usually look…especially in those jeans of yours."

Starsky felt the heat rising in his cheeks as Diane teased him about his preference for skin tight jeans that left little to the imagination. She laughed as she returned to her other duties. Starsky sat there and drank his beer while Huggy fixed him a care package. Just as he was finishing his drink, Huggy handed him a large paper bag. Starsky's mouth watered at the aroma of a Huggy special and french fries.

"Thanks, Hug." he said as he stood up. Grabbing the bag, he left the bar using the exit through the kitchen. Staying in the shadows of darkness, he made his way back to his doorway and crouched inside to enjoy his meal in peace. When he had finished, he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep. Sleeping out in the open wasn't very comfortable and Starsky was thankful that he only had to do it temporarily.

After a restless night, Starsky awoke to an overcast sky that promised rain before noon. Shoving himself to his feet, he shuffled to the alley and found a hidden spot to relieve himself. From the strong odor marking the spot, it was obvious that he wasn't the only one to use that particular spot. He had no sooner returned to his doorway when the rain arrived, a torrential downpour common to California during that time of year. His makeshift shelter only provided minimal protection from the elements and before long his clothes were wet and he was shivering from the chill of the cold rain.

He started when he felt someone wrapping a warm blanket around his shoulders. Raising his head, he shook out his wet curls and looked into Ginger's smiling face.

"I kinda figured you could use this about now." she told him.

"Thanks." Starsky said, gratefully hugging the warmth of the dry blanket around him. Although Ginger's actions seemed genuine and sincere, Starsky kept his guard up. He knew that a majority of the cult's members were society's outcasts who had no place else to go.

"How about coming back to our compound with me? You can get in out of the rain and get a hot meal. Then you come back here if you want to."

"No strings?"

"No strings. I promise." Ginger said with a bright smile. She held out her hand and grabbed his, pulling him to his feet. Continuing to hold his hand, she began to run down the block with Starsky easily keeping pace beside her even with the blanket he still clutched around his shoulders with his left hand.

She led the way to a van waiting at the next corner, a nondescript dark blue vehicle with mud smeared over the license plate. The side door slid open and they climbed inside. Two other men who belonged to the cult sat in the front of the van and another, much younger, girl sat in the back of the vehicle. The other girl's eyes were glassy and she appeared to be high on something. She didn't pay any attention to Starsky or Ginger as they settled down in the back of the van. Starsky found himself wondering if the girl was the cult's next victim, and if she was, how he could find a way to save her. One of the men passed Ginger a thermos which she opened and poured out a cup of hot, steaming coffee. She handed it to Starsky who accepted it gratefully.

"Careful, it's hot." she warned him as his chilled fingers closed around the cup.

"Thanks." he said as he took a cautious sip.

With heavy curtains covering the rear windows of the van, Starsky had no idea where they were headed. The heavy downpour hampered his sense of direction even more as the van turned down one street and then another. Finally, after almost a half hour of driving, the van came to a halt. Ginger slid open the back door and climbed out. Starsky followed her then reached out his hand to help the young girl out of the van. The two men climbed out of the front. One of them slipped his arm around the younger girl's shoulders and led her away in the opposite direction, while Ginger motioned for Starsky to follow her to a large abandoned warehouse. Risking a quick glance around, Starsky recognized the area as a condemned section of town near the docks.

Inside the large building sleeping bags littered the floor along with discarded paper bags from fast food restaurants and clothes. A large number of people were milling around. Some women were busy at one end of the building cooking and some others were washing out some clothes by hand in a large vat of steaming hot water. Starsky saw a couple in another corner of the room making out, oblivious to the others in the room. A large group of men sat at the far end of the building in a semi-circle deep in discussion and passing around a marijuana joint. The air was heavy with a variety of odors; unwashed bodies, sweat, marijuana, alcohol, spoiled food, cooking odors, and a predominant odor of sex.

Ginger showed Starsky to a small wooden table and motioned for him to sit down. She walked over to where the women were cooking and returned with a bowl of some sort of stew that she sat on the table in front of him. She also gave him a fresh cup of coffee. Starsky took a tentative bite, surprised at how good the stew tasted. The main ingredient seemed to be vegetables in a heavy stock with some stew meat thrown in for added flavor. The coffee was hot and strong with a heavy dose of sugar. The coffee left a strange aftertaste in Starsky's mouth that he couldn't readily identify. After eating his fill, his eyes felt heavy and the room seemed to tilt at an angle. Folding his arms on the table in front of him, Starsky leaned his head down on his cradled arms and fell into a heavy sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Starsky awoke to an unfamiliar darkness and the feeling of something warm and heavy covering him. As he became more alert, he remembered where he was and realized that he was lying on an old sleeping bag on the floor and covered with a heavy comforter. Ginger was lying beside him, sleeping soundly, and in the dim light from a fire burning in the corner, he could see other cult members sleeping around the room. Muted sounds drew his attention to another corner of the room where he was startled to see several different couples in the middle of making love. Most of them were male and female couplings but there were a few that were partners of the same sex.

Feeling the desperate need to relieve himself, Starsky carefully shoved himself to his feet, pausing when a wave of dizziness swept over him. He was positive that the coffee Ginger had given him earlier had probably been drugged, although he wasn't certain what the purpose was for drugging him. It wasn't until he felt the chill of the night air on his skin that he realized he was naked except for his black bikini briefs. The cult obviously didn't want him slipping off without them being aware of it. But, there were plenty of dirty clothes just lying around on the floor. It would easy for him to find something that fit if he really wanted to escape. But since escaping wasn't what Starsky had in mind, he ignored the clothes and found a relatively private area where he could take a leak.

Once he'd answered the call of nature, he crept back to the sleeping bag unnoticed and lay down beside Ginger. She rolled over in her sleep and cuddled up against him, tossing one arm casually around his waist. Starsky closed his eyes with a sigh and let himself drift back to sleep.

Early the next morning, he was awakened by the loud clanging of a bell. He opened his eyes and looked around. Other cult members were beginning to stir and get up from their pallets on the floor. Some were fully dressed while others were either partially clothed or nude. None of them seemed to notice or care one way or the other if they were dressed or not. Ginger, who was fully dressed in the same clothes she had been wearing the day before, opened her eyes and smiled brightly at Starsky.

"Good morning, David." she said "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Sure did." he told her "Especially with you snuggled up against me. I must have been tired. I don't even remember falling asleep."

"Poor thing. You were exhausted. You fell asleep at the table as soon as you finished eating." Ginger said "I had Samuel and Jason lay you down."

Starsky knew she was lying but wisely decided not to mention his suspicions about being drugged. He knew that cults frequently used drugs as a means of controlling their members and he didn't seem to be experiencing any lingering side effects. More than likely he had simply been given something to make him sleep. Still, he made a mental note to check with a doctor as soon as possible.

"Are you hungry?" Ginger was asking, as she picked up a pair of discarded sweat pants from the floor and handed them to him. He accepted them with a grateful nod and slipped them on, feeling more comfortable now that he was at least partially dressed.

"Always." Starsky told her with a smile. He followed her over to a long row of tables that he hadn't seen the day before and sat down. She walked away for a moment, returning with a bowl of oatmeal and a large glass of buttermilk. Starsky didn't particularly care for either item but he managed to choke them both down without complaint. Sometimes going undercover meant pretending to like things you didn't and doing things you normally wouldn't do. A good undercover cop had the ability to adapt and to do whatever they needed to do to get the job done.

After he had eaten, Ginger said,

"You can just stay here and hang out or you can come with me to work in the garden."

"I'll come with you." Starsky said, anxious to learn more about the cult and their day to day activities. Ginger seemed pleased with his answer and she motioned for him to follow her out of the building. As he stepped out of the building into the blinding sunlight, Starsky suddenly realized why he had been drugged. He was no longer in the same abandoned warehouse near the docks. Instead, they appeared to be in a large open area surrounded by trees and rocks. The location seemed desolate and isolated with no evidence of anyone else around besides the cult. A shiver ran down his spine as the eerie similarities between this place and the old zoo where he had been held prisoner by Simon Marcus became immediately apparent.

"Where are we?" Starsky demanded "This isn't the same place you took me to yesterday."

"No, this is the compound." Ginger told him "The other place was just a spot we use sometimes when we're in the city. Please don't be upset, David. I'm sure you're going to like it here."

"How do I get back into the city?"

"I'm afraid you don't unless you go with one of us and none of us are scheduled to return for a few days. We take turns going into the city and this week it's someone else's turn."

"Are there any phones here?" Starsky asked

"Why? Who do you want to call?" Ginger asked, her suspicions immediately raised by Starsky's request.

"My mother is in the hospital back east. I just wanted to call and see how she was." Starsky explained, thinking quickly to find a satisfactory excuse for needing to use the phone.

"There's no need for that." Ginger said in a dismissive tone. "If your mother is in a hospital back east, there's not much you can do for her while you're here and she's there."

"I guess you're right." Starsky said in a dejected voice, knowing that at the moment the cult had the upper hand. He hadn't even had a chance to make contact with Huggy to pass on the information to Hutch that he had infiltrated the group, so the big blond wouldn't know where to begin looking for him even if he did attempt to rescue him when he didn't hear from him in forty-eight hours. For now, it looked like Starsky was on his own and would have to use his own wits to get out of his current predicament.

Ginger paused at the edge of a large garden that bore a variety of fresh vegetables. Several people were busy working and Starsky saw baskets filled with corn, carrots, green beans, melons, potatoes, and tomatoes. "We grow all of our own vegetables here on the compound." Ginger told him proudly "And we raise some cows and pigs for our meat. The only thing we have to buy are our staples like flour, sugar and salt."

"Sounds efficient." Starsky commented "How do you pay for all this?"

"We have our ways." Ginger said evasively. "In time you'll be able to help us earn money."

"What if I decide not to stay?" Starsky asked deciding it was time to push a little and see what happened.

"Then someone will take you back to the city." Ginger assured him. She looked at him so innocently that Starsky almost believed her, except for the fact that she avoided direct eye contact and years of experience had taught him that when someone did that they were usually lying or trying to hide something. Starsky suddenly had an uneasy feeling that there was more going on here than he had thought and that his plan to infiltrate the cult may not have such a good idea after all. "We need to help gather the food for today." Ginger said, turning her attention to the task at hand.

For the next three hours, Starsky helped to pick vegetables and pull weeds from the garden. It was hard, sweaty work and by the time they were finished, his back and arms ached from the unaccustomed strain. When they had finished, Ginger led the way to a small outbuilding set apart from the main building. It had been converted into a communal bath with commodes and open shower stalls. Men and women both used the facility indiscriminately, modesty and the need for privacy being non-existent among the cult members.

"We'll get cleaned up and then I'll show you around." Ginger told him as she began to strip off her clothes, obviously expecting Starsky to do the same. Starsky had never been inhibited when it came to displaying his body. He discarded his clothes and claimed one of the showers. The water was cold but refreshing. He bathed quickly, his skin covered with goose bumps when he climbed out and grabbed a rough, scratchy towel to dry off with. Ginger had finished her own bathing and opened a nearby cupboard that contained rows of clean, neatly folded clothes. She and Starsky both selected jeans and faded, well-worn tee shirts in the correct sizes and put them on.

For the rest of the afternoon, Ginger showed him around the area. There were several buildings, some rundown and badly in need of repair while others were freshly painted and appeared to be fairly new. The entire clearing was surrounded by heavy brush and woods. When he got closer, Starsky immediately noticed the barbed wire fence that securely surrounded the entire area. In the background he could also hear the sound of several dogs barking loudly. It was apparent that the cult was either trying to keep people in or keep people out.

"What's with the dogs and the fence?" Starsky asked

"There are some people that object to our lifestyle." Ginger said softly. "The fence and the dogs are purely for our own security and protection against unwanted intruders."

"There's nothing wrong with your lifestyle that I can see." Starsky said, continuing his role of an interested outsider looking to fit in with the group.

"I'm glad to hear that." Ginger said with a smug smile. "We'll be having a ceremony later tonight that I'm sure you'll find interesting."

"I'll be looking forward to it." Starsky said quietly, wondering just what the ceremony would consist of. His memories of the ceremony that Simon's cult had subjected him too were still etched deeply into the back of his mind. Things were moving along faster than he had anticipated and he had an overwhelming need to get a message to Hutch but, at the moment, that seemed to be impossible. He made a mental note to try and find out if there was a telephone anywhere on the compound or any other way he could safely risk getting a message out to his partner or to Huggy Bear. Ginger appeared to be sticking close to him, acting as an unofficial guide or maybe a guard. Either way, he had to be very careful not to arouse any suspicion or he could end up as the cult's next unfortunate victim.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**A/N: This chapter does contain a scene of graphic sexual abuse. If this topic offends you, please do not read any further.**

It was close to midnight when the cult members gathered in the largest building on the compound to begin the ceremony that Ginger had mentioned earlier in the day. Unlike the other buildings that Starsky had seen so far, this building had no windows and the only lighting came from several candles sitting in strategic places. The flickering candlelight made it hard to see but Starsky estimated that there were at least seventy cult members in attendance.

Ginger had instructed him to sit with another small group of men and women that she said were new to the group. He was also instructed not to talk to anyone, to just watch and listen. He would have liked to try and talk to the others and see what he could find out from them but decided to do as he had been told. Maybe he could find a way to talk to some of them later. The ceremony started exactly at midnight with the group chanting softly, the words too muffled to make out clearly. A tall, well built man in his late forties stepped forward and stood on a small raised platform at the end of the building, putting him above the rest of the congregation. He held his hands up for silence and the crowd immediately stopped chanting.

"Welcome my brothers and sisters." he intoned in a velvety smooth voice. "I am pleased to see you all here tonight…along with several newcomers. The wine of life is being passed around. When you receive it, please drink freely of it's nectar."

Starsky glanced around and noticed several cult members passing out glasses of the wine he had just mentioned. Starsky noticed that each member paused when he handed it out to make sure that the person who received it drank it without hesitation. When one of the members approached Starsky with his glass, he tried to resist taking it.

"I can't drink wine." he declared "I'm allergic to alcohol."

Two other cult members immediately grabbed his arms and pulled him to his feet, pulling his arms behind his back until his shoulders screamed in protest. A third cult member stepped forward and grabbed his hair with one hand, pulling back on his head, while he used his other hand to pinch Starsky's nostrils shut, forcing him to open his mouth to get a breath of air. As soon as his mouth opened, the member with the wine tipped the glass against his lips and forced the wine down his throat. He had no choice but to swallow or risk choking. When the glass was empty, the other cult members released him and let him fall back to the ground at their feet as they moved on to the next in line.

Starsky immediately felt the effects of whatever was concealed in the wine. He felt dizzy and light headed, the colors in the room appearing more vibrant and the noise level intensified. Straightening up into a sitting position, he raised his head and glanced around the room. His brain screamed at him to run, to get out of here while he could, but his muscles refused to obey the frantic commands from his mind. He sat, frozen in place, as the ceremony continued.

The man on the platform smiled in satisfaction and said,

"The first phase is complete. Embrace the light and the freedom from your burdens, my children. We are your family…this is your home. All are welcome here."

Two other cult members appeared at the side of the platform. With them was the young girl that had been on the van with Starsky. She appeared even more dazed and disoriented than before, stumbling slightly as the two men escorting her led her up to the man on the platform. It took a moment for Starsky's drugged mind to register the fact that she was nude, her adolescent breasts barely formed and only a scattering of pubic hair.

The man leading the group reached out and fondled a tender breast. The girl didn't move and made no objection to his actions, barely flinching as he grabbed a nipple between two fingers and twisted it viciously. "This young girl is a holy virgin and is to be held in the highest esteem. She will be initiated into our family this evening along with the other newcomers who have joined us."

The ceremony had taken a sinister turn that alarmed Starsky. He had a feeling that the young virgin may not survive her initiation into the cult, becoming the latest victim of the cult's blood lust. He found himself wondering if he or any of the other newcomers would fare any better. Held hostage by the powerful drugs that flowed through his system, Starsky could only sit and watch helplessly as the ceremony continued.

The young girl was led over to a post beside the platform and securely bound with her hands over her head. Her head fell forward to rest against her chest, her long hair falling forward to conceal her face. The group began to chant again as the man in charge walked over to her and began to fondle her again, his fingers violating the most intimate part of her body. Still, the young girl showed no reaction to his molestation.

Starsky raged inwardly at his own inability to respond to the sight unfolding in front of him. He longed to storm the platform and pull the man away from her, beating him to a bloody pulp, but the drug rendered him incapable of moving from his spot on the floor. He watched as the girl's violation continued. Then, as if by an unspoken command, other cult members began to filter up on the platform, taking their own turn at fondling the girl, some of the men, and the women too, licking and sucking at her breasts.

After everyone but Starsky and the other newcomers had taken a turn at the young girl, the crowd grew silent once more, turning their attention back to their chosen leader.

"Bring forth those who are new to our family." he ordered solemnly. "So they can be renamed and initiated in blood."

Slowly, each newcomer was led, one by one, to the platform. Everyone that is except for Starsky, leaving him to wonder why he was being left out. He watched, his heart pounding in his chest, as each of the other men and women were stripped of their clothing and then covered in oil. The leader made the symbol of an upside down cross on their forehead and then chanted some words over them. When he was finished, he held out a elaborately designed silver cup and ordered each of them to drink from it. After they had, he ordered them to begin making love to each other and for the remainder of the congregation to do the same.

Starsky watched in disbelief as the others in the room obeyed his command. Soon couples, men and women as well as several different sexes together, began to pull off their clothes and starting making love all around him. The orgy continued unabated for almost an hour and then stopped when the man in charge said "Enough. It is time for the final initiation."

Everyone quieted down and several pairs of eyes swung in Starsky's direction as two cult members stepped forward to pull him to his feet. They drug him to the stage, supporting his limp body between them, as they stood before their leader. Starsky struggled to focus his attention on the man standing before him but it was becoming harder and harder to concentrate. The man stepped forward with a thin, cold smile on his gaunt face.

"You have been chosen by our Messiah to be his. That is the highest honor that can be bestowed upon you. We must now test you to make sure that you are worthy of such an honor." The man's ominous words sent a chill down Starsky spine as he realized why he had been singled out from the others. His would not be a simple initiation like the others, his would be much worse.

The two men holding him upright pulled him over to a second post beside the bound girl and tied him to it in a similar fashion. One of them used a large knife with a wicked looking blade to cut away his clothing, leaving him nude and vulnerable in front of the crowd. A murmur of approval swept through the rest of the cult as lecherous eyes swept over his exposed body.

The leader sank to his knees in front of Starsky and intoned solemnly, "I now claim you in the name of our true father." With those words, he took Starsky's limp penis in his mouth and began to suck on it, while his left hand reached between Starsky's legs to fondle the heavy furred sack that hung there. A soft moan escaped from Starsky's lips in protest at the forbidden act, the oral rape by another man. Although he tried to resist, as the man expertly sucked and licked at his cock, Starsky felt himself growing hard against his will. His body stiffened as familiar feelings of sexual arousal began to overwhelm him. Starsky whimpered at his body's betrayal.

The man continued until Starsky cried out weakly, his body exploding as he shot his seed into the other man's waiting mouth. The man sucked him dry and then stood up, kissing Starsky fiercely on the mouth, forcing his tongue between the resistant lips. Starsky gagged involuntarily at the unwelcome intrusion. Instinctively, he bit down and immediately aroused the other man's rage. Pulling away with a bellow of outrage, he slammed his fist into Starsky's mouth, splitting his lip and cutting a deep gash in his chin.

"You will pay dearly for your defiance of the honor being bestowed upon you." the other man hissed, spitting out the blood seeping from his own injured tongue. He turned to the remaining cult members. "Have your way with him but do not kill him and do not violate him before the final ceremony." With a smug smile he stepped aside as the others members surged forward, ready to obey his command.

Within seconds, Starsky found himself surrounded and plunged into a world of pain and degradation. Fists punched the more vulnerable parts of his anatomy while several of the women slapped or scratched his face. Hands touched him intimately, fondling his unresponsive cock and balls, while tongues licked at his chest and stomach. Ginger was the only member who kept her distance and didn't attempt to harm him. She stood to one side watching impassively with a sad little smile tugging at her lips. When someone viciously bit at one of his nipples, drawing blood, Starsky cried out in surprise and pain. The assault seemed to go on forever but in reality only lasted for about forty-five minutes before the leader ordered them to stop.

The leader stepped forward and gazed at Starsky's bruised, scratched and battered body. The burnet managed to raise his head to glare back at him, still defiant in spite of his abuse. His breath escaped from his lips in sharp gasps, a burning pain in his chest when he breathed too deeply indicating a probable cracked rib. Although his other injuries were painful, none of them were life threatening.

"My name is Judas." the leader told him with a leer. "And I command this following. They bend to my will and do my bidding. The only reason you are still alive is because our great Messiah has other plans for you, Detective Starsky."

Starsky started at the sound of his own name and realized that the cult had known his true identity all along. Ginger had not chosen him by accident. He had been set up and lured into their clutches. Starsky's mouth went dry as he realized the danger he was in. He knew in his heart that this time, he might not make it out alive.

"Behold the sacrifice of the virgin in your honor." Judas taunted him.

Starsky turned his head and watched in horror as Ginger stepped forward and deftly slit the young girl's throat, her blood gushing out from the gaping wound. Ginger held a small silver cup beneath the girl's neck to catch some of the warm blood. When it was full, she handed it to Judas. He looked at Starsky with a leer, his next words chilling the bound brunet to the bone and making his heart pound with terror.

"I rename you, Polaris, and claim you now in the name of our Messiah, Simon Marcus…forever." Judas said as he made the sign of an upside down cross on Starsky's chest for everyone in the room to see.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Hutch paced Captain Dobey's office like a caged animal ready to attack. His ice blue eyes flashed with anger as he ranted.

"It's been over forty-eight hours and nobody's heard a word from Starsky! And nobody has seen hide nor hair of those scumbags either. We have to do something. Starsky's in trouble. I know he is. I can feel it!"

"Calm down, Hutchinson." Dobey commanded firmly. "You're not going to help Starsky if you go off half cocked. Do you have any idea where to even begin looking for him?"

"The last place he was seen. The neighborhood where the cult had been hanging out. Somebody has to know something!" Hutch declared. He looked at his commanding officer beseechingly. "You have to put out an APB on Starsky before it's too late!"

"That a missing officer." Dobey pointed out "You could blow his cover if he's managed to infiltrate the group."

"Starsky could end up dead if something went wrong!" Hutch argued back. "Please, Captain. Something's wrong. I can feel it." Hutch wasn't above pleading if it meant his partner's life. He'd done it before and he would do it again if it meant saving Starsky.

Dobey considered Hutch's words carefully. He was well aware of the unique bond between his favorite team of detectives and he knew that Hutch would go to any length to find his missing partner and rescue him, even if it meant endangering his own life. More than once he had been privileged enough to watch one of them suffer horrendous injuries and survive despite all the odds against them simply because the other one was there by his side, encouraging him not to give up and begging him to live. He was worried about Starsky too, knowing the brunet's tendency to get into trouble, but he had to remain professional and make sure that the search for the missing man was handled correctly.

Dobey also trusted and respected Hutch's judgment and instincts. If he said something had gone wrong, then Dobey had no doubt that something had gone wrong. He reached for the phone and picked up the receiver, punching in an extension within the building. Locking eyes with his distraught detective, he said "This is Captain Dobey. I want a missing officer alert on Detective Sergeant David Starsky. I also want an APB on any known cult members within the city. I want them picked up and brought in for questioning about Detective Starsky's disappearance." He hung up and sighed heavily. "Go find your partner." he told Hutch. The big blond didn't need to be told twice. He hurried from the office and left the building to begin his search.

His first stop was at The Pits to talk to Huggy. The black man was wiping glasses behind the bar when the big blond walked in. He looked at Hutch grimly and said, "Still no word from Starsky." It was statement of fact and not a question. He could see the answer in Hutch's eyes.

"Dobey put out a missing officer on him and an APB on all the known cult members in the city. He's bringing them in for questioning." Hutch explained. "Have you heard anything at all on the streets about where they might be holed up?"

"No." Huggy said "Everybody is pretty freaked out and scared of being the next victim. A lot of young girls have gone missing lately…most of them runaways that nobody will miss."

"What exactly did Starsky tell you the last time you saw him?"

"Just that some chick named Ginger had made contact with him and to let you know." Huggy told him. "That's it."

"Did he tell you what she looked like?"

"Nope, and I didn't think to ask."

"Thanks, Hug. See what you can dig up and I'll check back with you later."

"Where are you going?"

"Back to the neighborhood that Starsky was staking out." Hutch said over his shoulder as he walked out the door. He walked to the curb and climbed into his car, a battered gray LTD with an assortment of dents and rust spots. The engine coughed and sputtered for a minute before finally catching and starting. Starsky was constantly nagging him to buy a better car but Hutch didn't have much use for material possessions. Having grown up in a wealthy family in Duluth, Minnesota, Hutch had had everything he wanted as a child except for his parent's attention and love. When he struck out on his own, he vowed not to let the lust for money or material possessions to rule his life the way it did his parents. His ex-wife had been just as greedy and materialistic. His rocky marriage had ended in divorce when Hutch had turned his back on medical school and his families money to pursue a career as a police officer.

He and Starsky had met at the Police Academy where they had been roommates. Despite the vast differences in their backgrounds and lifestyles, they had become immediate friends and that friendship had only deepened over the years until it seemed as if they had become two halves of the same whole, joined together with an almost psychic bond that enabled them to feel what the other one was feeling and know what they were thinking. It was a bond that had saved their lives countless times over the years and made them the legendary team that they were. Together, they were unstoppable. Apart, they were good but not as good as they were when they were together.

Hutch didn't like it when they worked on a case separately. He worried constantly about Starsky's safety when he wasn't there to watch his back even though he knew that Starsky was a competent police officer and could take care of himself. When things happened like this, it only reinforced Hutch's resistance to the two partners being separated during a case. Without Starsky, Hutch would lose part of his identity, part of his very soul, and half of himself.

Deep in his heart, Hutch knew that if anything ever happened to the impetuous brunet, he wouldn't be able to go on alone. Sometimes it scared him when he thought about how close the two of them had become, how intertwined their lives were and how inter-dependent they were on each other. Starsky was more than just Hutch's best friend, he was the closest thing to a brother that Hutch had ever had and he cherished their closeness and companionship.

Hutch drove to the rundown neighborhood where the cult had been hanging out. While Starsky had been undercover for the past few days, Hutch had been staying in the office working on their overdue reports so it felt good to be out and doing something constructive. Parking at the curb, he climbed out of the car and began to walk down the street, stopping pedestrians to ask if anyone had seen his missing partner. Nobody seemed to be able to tell him much, either because they didn't know or because they were too afraid to say anything, until he stopped a hooker that he knew by the street name of Orange. She dressed and acted like Little Orphan Annie, complete with a dog that she called Sandy.

"Yes, I saw Detective Starsky." she told him in her stilted lilt. "I wasn't sure that it was him at first…but Sandy recognized him. He looked terrible…like he'd been sick or something."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Let me see…I think it was two days ago…it was the day it rained so hard. Some nice lady gave him a blanket and a ride in her van."

"Did you see him get into the van with her?" Hutch asked anxiously.

"Oh, yes. I went into the coffee shop on the corner to get out of the rain and the van was parked right in front of the window."

"Can you describe the woman or the van for me?"

"The woman was pretty with red hair. She was dressed in jeans and a yellow tank top. Maybe a little taller than me but heavier." Orange answered carefully as she thought back to what she had seen that day.

"What about the van?" Hutch probed gently.

"It was an old van…blue I think. It was hard to tell because it was so dirty even with the rain."

"Did you see a license plate number or anything different about it?"

"No…not really. The license plates were covered with mud but I think there were some other people already inside. I saw a man driving."

"Which way did they go when they left?"

"East…towards the edge of town."

"Thank you, Orange. You've been a big help." Hutch said with a charming smile as he pulled out his wallet and took out a twenty dollar bill. He folded it in half and stuffed it down between Orange's cleavage.

"Thank you, Detective Hutchinson." she said formally "Now Sandy can have a treat. I hope you find Detective Starsky."

"I will, Orange. I will." he promised. He turned and walked back to his car to report this latest information to Captain Dobey. It wasn't much to go on but it was a start. It would be impossible to trace the van with such a vague description but at least now they had a partial description of the woman named Ginger. At least Hutch hoped that the helpful stranger was Ginger.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

Starsky tried to raise his head but he didn't have the energy. Over the past twenty-four hours, he had been beaten repeatedly, had no sleep, very little water, and no food. Various cult members had seemed to take a special delight in taunting him and fondling his exposed body. The drugs he had been given had worn off but his hands were securely bound behind his back and his ankles were lashed together preventing him from trying to escape. He had been left to lie on the raised platform next to the dead body of the young girl that Ginger had killed. Although he tried to avoid looking at her, when he did, her dead eyes seemed to stare at him accusingly, reproaching him for not saving her from her fate.

Knowing that Simon Marcus was somehow connected with this group, even if it was as their absent Messiah, was enough to cause Starsky's terror from his previous captivity at the hands of Marcus' original cult to resurface. From his previous experiences, both on the police force and as a POW in Viet Nam, Starsky was an expert at hiding fear from his captors. Defiant to the end, he would continue to fight them until his dying breath, not giving in to them voluntarily. His stubborn, rebellious nature was an engrained part of his personality that could not be changed. The Viet Cong had tried to break him for over six months without much success. Marcus' cult had tortured him relentlessly for over twenty-four hours and he had still challenged them even at the end when his own death appeared to be at hand.

Through his half closed eyes, Starsky watched as Ginger slowly approached him. Kneeling down beside him, she gently cradled his head in her lap and held a cup of cold water to his lips. He drank his fill, then looked at her with accusing eyes. "You knew who I was all along." he said scornfully.

"Of course I did, Polaris." she said softly. "You're the black star, the redeeming light. The Messiah's chosen one."

"Don't hand me any of that bullshit." Starsky snapped "Marcus wants me because he didn't get what he wanted the last time and he won't this time either."

"Don't you understand?" Ginger said patiently as if she were talking to a small child. "Marcus has dreamed this and his dreams always come true just as they are now. You belong to us now…forever."

"I don't belong to anyone, lady." Starsky growled defiantly. "Especially a bunch of murderers and rapists."

"That's your definition of what we are, not mine. You will learn to embrace us as we will embrace you."

"Not in this lifetime." Starsky vowed.

"Then you will die…a slow, painful death. You'll pray for death long before it claims you." Ginger punctuated her words with a gentle kiss and then she was gone.

Starsky laid his head back against the hard wood beneath him and closed his eyes. He was exhausted and in pain but sleep was elusive. Every time he started to doze off, he would awake with a violent start, listening for any sound of his tormentors returning. His nerves were on edge as he waited for further attacks. When they came, they were always quick and unexpected, sometimes painful, sometimes just humiliating, depending on the mood of his tormentor. The only thing that seemed to be off limits (at least for now) was actual male to male rape, although oral sex was allowed and sexual fondling seemed to be favored.

As night fell, the interior of the building became pitch black which unnerved the usually resilient brunet. He only had a couple of real phobias and complete darkness was one of them. It reminded him too much of the long nights as POW when he spent the hours curled up in wooden cage nursing his most recent wounds while bugs and rats crawled over his body. To stay alert, he recited half remembered verses to songs and statistics from old police reports. It helped to occupy his mind and keep his fear under a tight rein. Although Starsky had been raised in the Jewish religion but was no longer practicing his faith, he found himself falling back on the old prayers and teachings of his childhood to help sustain him in his hour of need.

A flickering candle caught his attention as the door opened and someone stepped into the darkness. He braced himself for further abuse as his nocturnal visitor drew closer.

He was startled to see a young girl barely into her teens. She was dressed in a ragged red shift and was carrying a tray. Smiling at Starsky, she sat the tray down on the floor beside him and said,

"I brought you food." As hungry as he was, the smell drifting into his nostrils was foul and sour, making him feel nauseated and curbing his appetite. The girl picked up something off the tray and tried to feed it to him but he clamped his lips closed and refused to eat. Despite her continued attempts to feed him, he continued to refuse. Finally, the girl looked at him with tears welling in her eyes, and pleaded, "Please, you must eat or they will punish me."

The thought of the young girl being needlessly punished because of him forced Starsky to open his mouth and take a bite of spoiled, rotten lettuce. He choked it down and fought back the urge to vomit. The girl offered him a few bites of spoiled meat and some curdled milk. Starsky forced himself to eat a few more bites, then his body rebelled and he began to gag, vomiting it back up.

"Now you're going to get it." the girl said, gathering up the tray of half eaten garbage and her candle. "You must not waste food."

Starsky watched her walk away into the darkness, too sick to his stomach from the rancid meal to care. He didn't have to wait long for his punishment for not eating. Two of the largest men in the cult came into the room and proceeded to kick him in the stomach and beat him with their fists, all without saying a word. After beating him into unconsciousness they left, satisfied that he had been sufficiently punished for wasting his food.

As awareness slowly returned, Starsky became aware of the hot, wet mouth suckling at his cock. He kept his eyes closed, continuing to feign unconsciousness. The physical abuse he could endure but the sexual abuse was demoralizing, especially when the person abusing him was another male or a young female barely in her teens. Although he found nothing sexually arousing in the act, his body sometimes betrayed him and responded accordingly to the stimulation. But it was still rape with all the shame and guilt associated with that particular act of violence. Starsky allowed himself to drift back into unconsciousness where he could escape, at least for a little while, from the situation he found himself in.

When he opened his eyes again, it seemed even blacker than usual, if that was at all possible, and the air had an unpleasant, musty odor mixed with the dank smell of damp dirt. For a moment, Starsky panicked, thinking that that cult had buried him alive until he reached out his unbound hands and felt the solid ground beneath him and empty space above him as far as he could reach. His exploring hands quickly found the leather collar fastened securely around his throat with a chain hooked to it and fastened with a small padlock. He felt his way along the length of the chain, which appeared to be approximately four feet and found it secured to a stake driven deep into the ground. After a few minutes of tugging futilely at the chain and then digging at the dirt around the stake with his fingernails, he realized that it would be impossible to free himself. He was trapped in a hole in the ground like some kind of animal.

Without his eyes to guide him, he had to rely on his hands and sense of touch to get a general idea of his prison. The space seemed to be wider than he could reach and higher than he could reach, even when he was standing upright. Another one of his hidden phobias, the fear of small, enclosed spaces was realized. Combined with his fear of total darkness, the assault to his senses was almost overwhelming and he had to fight to control his irrational feeling of panic.

"HUTTCCCHHHH…." he screamed into the darkness "HELPPPP MEEEEEE…"


	8. Chapter 8

_**CHAPTER 8**_

Hutch shifted in his chair and nervously punched the button to play the video tape that had been delivered to headquarters that morning with his name on it, along with the message Where is Detective Starsky? Since the wording of the note was almost an exact copy of the chilling message that Hutch had been given in the courtroom the day that Marcus's followers had kidnapped Starsky from the Federal Courthouse in downtown Bay city, it immediately brought back chilling memories of that abduction. He hoped that it would provide some clues to help him find his missing partner. Starsky had been gone for almost a week and Hutch had been unsuccessful in finding any trace of him. It was if he had vanished into thin air along with the elusive cult members.

The only other people in the room with him preparing to view the mysterious tape was Captain Dobey and another team of detectives, Bill Masterson and his partner, Linda Baylor. Since they had volunteered to work with Hutch when they discovered that Starsky was missing, Hutch had agreed to let them view to the tape. Bill and Linda both knew Starsky and Hutch. Linda had worked with them before on a couple of other cases and Bill had gone to the academy with them. There were other detectives involved in the search for Starsky but none that Hutch trusted as much as he trusted Linda and her partner. Whatever was on the tape, Hutch didn't want everyone in the squad room viewing it.

As the images on the tape filled the screen, Hutch caught his breath sharply. The tape showed a horribly abused Starsky, apparently unconscious, lying on some sort of platform with his hands and feet tied securely. Most of his body was covered with large, ugly bruises, cuts and lacerations. Both eyes were blackened and his mouth was swollen and cracked open. There was sound along with the video and Hutch could hear voices chanting in the background although he couldn't make out the words.

Hutch watched in horror as a man, his face hidden by a elaborate mask to conceal his identity, but with the classic barbed wire tattoo around his wrist, stepped forward and held a candle over Starsky's motionless body, allowing the hot wax to drip onto the olive toned flesh. Starsky didn't even flinch, a sign of a deep unconsciousness. Only the barely noticeable rise and fall of the brunet's chest proved that he was still alive.

The scene abruptly changed and showed Starsky surrounded by a large group of men and women who were freely fondling his naked body. This time the brunet's eyes were open but they looked glassy and devoid of any emotion or feelings. Starsky's shocking appearance was highlighted by an obvious weight loss. His face looked gaunt and Hutch could see every rib through his tightly stretched skin. Even the bones in his pelvis were sharply accented and visible.

The final scene on the tape showed a young woman with red hair that Hutch assumed was the mysterious Ginger, gently bathing Starsky's battered body. His hands were tied behind his back and he wore a thick leather collar around his neck that was fastened to a chain that disappeared into the darkness behind him. Once more his eyes were closed and he appeared to be unconscious. A deep masculine voice said on the tape at the end "Detective Starsky is no more. His soul belongs to us now. Forever. He is a gift from our Messiah. He is the chosen one. He is Polaris."

Hutch switched off the tape with a punch of his finger, sickened by the abuse he had seen his friend subjected to. "Polaris!" he snarled through tightly clenched teeth. "That was Simon Marcus' name for Starsky! That bastard is behind this somehow!" He began to pace the room frantically, working off his frustration and his anger.

"But Simon Marcus is still in prison." Linda said "We checked. So are most of his followers."

"That doesn't mean a thing! He was in jail the last time his band of lunatics kidnapped Starsky! And now some more of his followers have him again!" Hutch ranted loudly, barely containing his emotions.

"Hutch, calm down. We're doing all we can to find him." Dobey said needlessly.

"Not enough!" Hutch growled "You saw what they were doing to him! We have to find him before it's too late!" His shoulders sagged in defeat. "We could already be too late."

"Did any of you seen anything on the tape that looked familiar?" Dobey addressed his question to the other detectives.

"There's not much there to go on." Bill said solemnly, feeling sorry for Hutch's obvious distress and concern for his partner's safety. He would feel the same way if their positions were reversed. A police partnership is much like a marriage and most partners spent more time with each other than they do with their respective spouses.

"All I recognized was the tattoos." Linda said.

"There's nothing there we can use." Hutch stated flatly "The bastards made sure of that." He glared at Dobey fiercely. "I want to talk to Marcus."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea." Dobey said slowly, choosing his words with care. "You know he won't tell you anything. He'll just talk in riddles the way he always does."

"But those riddles usually have clues in them if you can just decipher them correctly." Hutch pointed out. "That's how we found Starsky the last time." He turned his full attention on his commanding officer. "Cap, please. We're talking about Starsky's life. I have to talk to Marcus."

"All right." Dobey told him after a moment of consideration. "I'll call San Quentin and set it up."

"Thanks, Cap." Hutch said with a grateful smile. "In the meantime, I'm going to talk to Huggy again. Maybe he's heard something new. I'll check in." Without a backward glance, Hutch left the interrogation room they had been using to ensure their privacy and hurriedly left the building.

The Pits was crowded with the usual Friday night crowd when Hutch arrived but Huggy quickly stepped out from behind the bar, turning his duties over to Diane, and joined him when Hutch stepped through the door. They moved to a dark corner of the bar where they could talk in private.

"We got a tape. It showed Starsky being abused by the cult." Hutch explained quickly. "It also said that he belonged to them now…a gift from their Messiah. And they called him Polaris on the tape."

"Polaris…" Huggy said, his eyes widening in alarm "Wasn't that…"

"The name that Simon Marcus gave him? Yeah." Hutch finished for him. "Have you heard anything about this cult being involved with Marcus in any way?"

"No…but that doesn't mean much. I mean they could be just one of those crazy groups that thought Marcus was some kind of God." Huggy said "You said they called him their Messiah" He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "They sure fit the bill. They're obviously crazy enough and their murders are almost identical to the ones Marcus was convicted for."

"I'm going to go to the prison and talk to Marcus. See what I can get out of him." Hutch declared.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Huggy questioned "You know he's not going to tell you anything. He's just going to talk in those damn riddles of his."

"I have to, Hug. It may be the only chance I have of finding Starsky. If Marcus knows anything about this, he's going to want to brag about it." Hutch said firmly.

"You're right about that." Huggy agreed, remembering the tape he had helped Hutch decipher when Starsky was kidnapped before. The sound of the cult leader's voice had sent chills down the black man's back. He had seen first hand how traumatized his old friend had been after that ordeal. It had been weeks before Starsky finally returned to normal. "Want some company?" Huggy offered, wanting to help find Starsky any way that he could.

Hutch looked surprised but pleased at the offer. "Thanks, but I think I'd better handle this one alone. I'll let you know what he has to say. Maybe we can figure it out like we did before."

Huggy nodded. He had spent an entire night in Captain Dobey's office along with Hutch and Dobey trying to decipher Marcus' riddles when Starsky was kidnapped the last time. It had been Huggy's astute mind and street smarts that had helped to figure out the clues hidden in the riddles. Hutch clasped Huggy's shoulder in an affectionate gesture and then turned to leave the bar. Huggy watched him go, noting the slump of the broad shoulders and the drag in the step.

"Good luck to both of you, my friend." he said under his breath as he turned back to his other duties.

Returning to his car, Hutch radioed headquarters and requested a patch through to Captain Dobey. When the burly black man's voice came over the air, he said,

"Did you get hold of the warden?"

"I did. He said you can see Marcus this evening if you think you can get there before eight o'clock."

"I'll get there before then." Hutch promised. "I'll call you when I get back."

"Make sure you do that…no matter how late it is." Dobey ordered. He knew that Hutch wouldn't rest until he had exhausted every possible lead to his partner's whereabouts. Someone had to keep an eye on the big blond to keep him from overexerting himself and that job fell into Captain Dobey's capable hands. Over the years, he had learned how to handle Starsky or Hutch whenever one of them was missing the other one was going ballistic. It took a firm hand and an iron will to clash with either one of them and come out on top. And there always remained the distinct possibly of them rebelling against his authority and taking matters into their own hands. That was when they were the most dangerous, both to themselves and to anyone else who got in their way.

Hutch immediately began the long drive to San Quentin. The long trip gave Hutch plenty of time to think. He held the cold rage simmering inside of him at bay, knowing that he couldn't help Starsky if he lost control. He felt adrift without the brunet by his side. The fear of losing the brunet mounted with each passing hour. He arrived around seven o'clock that evening and was immediately escorted to the warden's office after checking it at the front gate. He had dealt with Warden Alexander before and they were on cordial terms.

"Detective Hutchinson," the warden greeted him warmly as he stepped into the office, shutting the door securely behind him. "It's good to see you again. I just wish it were under more pleasant circumstances."

The two men exchanged a polite handshake. "Does he know I'm coming?" Hutch asked.

"No. I thought it was best not to warn him in advance that he was about to have an unexpected visitor."

"Good idea. Less time for him to think up one of his riddles."

"I'll have one of the guards show you to the visiting room that we normally use for attorneys and their clients."

"Thank you."

Hutch waited impatiently while a guard was summoned to the warden's office to escort him to see Marcus. Finally, he was settled in the hard backed chair at the battered table waiting for Marcus. He waited about ten minutes and then the door opened and Marcus was escorted into the room by two guards. His hands and feet were both securely manacled with heavy chains, making him shuffle as he crossed the room. His eyes swept over Hutch's face, not showing any surprise or alarm at seeing who his unexpected visitor was. He settled into the chair facing Hutch with the table between them and waited in silence as one of the guards fastened his feet to the legs of the chair.

"So…we meet again, Detective Hutchinson." he said in his deceptively soft voice. "To what do I owe the honor of your company?" "My partner is missing and I think you know something about it." Hutch growled.

"Detective Starsky? What a shame." Marcus said with a thin smile. "What makes you think that I know anything about his whereabouts?"

"Maybe because the group that has him is calling him Polaris. Sound familiar?"

"Aww…Polaris. The night star. The shining light in heaven."

"Don't you think that it's a little strange that this group is using a name that you used for my partner?"

"Perhaps it is a sign…my former vision being fulfilled."

"This group considers you their Messiah."

"I am many things to many people. My followers are all of mankind. If that makes me their Messiah, than so be it." The man's arrogance was astounding. He truly did have a God complex and actually believed that he was invincible. That was what made him so dangerous and unpredictable, like a rattlesnake ready to strike.

"Where is my partner?" Hutch asked, annoyed at the pleading sound that crept into his voice.

"Your partner is in my world." Marcus said "My universe. My reality. Your reality is the illusion, not mine. The white knight is no more. He was sacrificed on the alter of Polaris."

"If my partner dies because of you and your head games, I will personally track you down and make sure you pay." Hutch warned him in a cold, deadly voice.

"Brave words from a man who has lost his way. You seek but you do not find what you seek because you do not see my reality, only my illusion."

"Cut the crap!" Hutch growled irritably. "Stop twisting your words to fit your version of reality. Help me find my partner before it's too late!"

"It is already too late for Polaris. His soul is gone. It belongs to me now." The words echoed in the room, almost identical to the words on the tape Hutch had viewed.

Hutch had to restrain himself from wiping the smug smile off the arrogant, sneering face. Standing up and rising to his full height, he strode over to the door and said into the speaker, "Take this fucker back to his cell. We're finished here." He ignored the prisoner as the guards entered the room, unshackled him and led him out of the room. The sound of his mocking laughter echoed in Hutch's ears and he hurried down the hall in the opposite direction.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Hutch continued searching for Starsky to no avail. The days blended into weeks without any news of the missing brunet. Hutch began to lose hope in spite of his best efforts to stay focused and positive. He had tried to decipher the conversation he'd had with Marcus but nothing the former cult leader said had pointed to Starsky's whereabouts. Starsky had been missing for almost six weeks when two cult members were arrested during a routine sweep of an area heavily populated by hookers and their pimps. Hutch ordered them brought to headquarters so he could interrogate them personally.

The cult members, two young women who claimed their names were Sarah and Naomi, were both tall, statuesque blondes with ample cleavage and long manes of hair. They had admitted to the arresting officers that they had been working as prostitutes and turning their ill gotten gains over to the cult. The uniformed officers, who were well aware of Starsky's disappearance, had immediately notified Hutch and Captain Dobey of their arrest.

Hutch let the two women wait in the interrogation room for almost an hour before he joined them. It was a well used technique designed to give suspects time to get nervous and anxious, in the hopes that it would make them more likely to confess. However, it didn't seem to have fazed the two women who both appeared relaxed and confident. They had spent the time laughing and chatting casually. One of them had even glanced at the two way mirror that concealed Hutch and Captain Dobey standing on the other side and blew a kiss, obviously aware of the mirror's real purpose. Normally, two suspects would have been separated before being questioned, but Hutch had hoped that if the two women were questioned as a pair, they might talk among themselves before hand and incriminate themselves on the hidden tape recorder that had been activated after they were taken into the room.

"Detective Hutchinson, I presume." said one of the women, whose fingerprints had been identified as Carla Webster, although she was using the name Naomi. She had several minor offenses on her rap sheet including prostitution, shoplifting and pandering.

"You're cute." quipped the second woman, who was still only identified as Sarah, the name she had given when she was arrested. She had no previous record and had obviously never been fingerprinted. Both women bore the distinctive tattoo of the cult on their right wrist.

"If you know who I am, then you both know why you're here." Hutch said quietly.

"Of course. You're looking for Polaris." Naomi said with a smug smile.

"His name is Detective Starsky." Hutch said, hating the name that the cult had given Starsky. "And he's my partner."

"Ohhhh, your partner…." Sarah said, drawing her words out seductively. "What kind of partner would that be?"

"Cut the crap, ladies. Why don't you make it easy for yourselves and just tell me where he is?" Hutch suggested.

"He's one of us now. He's with the others." Naomi said "Where he belongs."

"He's not one of you! You kidnapped him and you're holding him prisoner against his will!" Hutch growled, losing patience with their games. "In case you don't realize it, kidnapping a police officer is a federal offense."

"Really?" Sarah said "Gee, I'm scared. Don't hurt me, Officer Hutchinson."

"Detective Hutchinson." Hutch corrected her firmly. He struggled to control his temper, refusing to rise to their bait. Normally, Starsky and Hutch kept each other grounded during an interrogation, so without him at his side, Hutch was finding hard not to give vent to his rage. "Now, I'm going to ask you one more time…where is my partner?"

"We told you." Naomi said calmly. "He belongs to us now and he is with the others."

"Where exactly are the others?" Hutch asked, changing tactics.

"They're everywhere." Sarah said "Just as we are here, so are they."

Naomi rested her arms on top of the table sitting in the middle of the room and leaned forward, looking at Hutch with the most intense green eyes he had ever seen. "Would you like to know what your partner has been going through these past few weeks?"

"I've seen what he's going through." Hutch said coldly "I got your little tape."

"You didn't see anything." Sarah said with a giggle. "You didn't see him bleed when I bit him while I was sucking his cock."

"And you didn't hear him scream your name when Paul was rubbing salt into his wounds while Judas tightened a noose around his neck." Naomi said. She smiled in obvious relish at the tales she was repeating. "Begging you to help him…to save him…before he was banished back to the pits of hell."

"That's enough!" Hutch yelled angrily, slamming the palms of his hands down on top of the tape to stop the images that their words planted in his mind. Both women merely smiled at his outburst without any outward show of emotion. "Where is he?"

"I told you. He's in the pits of hell being punished for his sins." Naomi said smugly. "Sins against our Messiah."

"You mean sins against Simon Marcus, don't you?" Hutch growled.

"Our master has many names. That is only one that he chooses to use." Sarah said passively. "He comes to us in our dreams and we do his bidding. For that we are rewarded in ways that are beyond your wildest dreams."

"Does that include murdering innocent people…children?" Hutch demanded, losing patience rapidly with the two women.

"No one is innocent in this world…" Naomi informed him. "Only in the next."

Hutch could feel a migraine coming on. He was getting nowhere with these two. They were too well conditioned and brainwashed by the cult. But, he could make sure that they were booked and held on charges of kidnapping a police officer. That would at least keep them off the streets and away from the rest of the cult. The tape of their interrogation was enough to implicate them with their guilty knowledge of the crime. Hutch walked over to a phone on the wall and picked up the receiver. "This is Detective Hutchinson." he said somberly "You can take the prisoners in interrogation room three back to their cell."

He left the room, closing and locking the door securely behind him. He felt drained and frustrated. He knew that the two women knew where Starsky was being held but they weren't going to tell him. They got more pleasure out of taunting Hutch with stories of Starsky's continued abuse at the hands of the cult. After taking a moment to compose himself, he joined Captain Dobey in the adjoining room with the two way mirror. The two women were laughing and joking with each other, apparently unfazed by the charges being leveled against them.

"Those are two woman I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley." Dobey said glumly. "They'd slit your throat and not even bat an eye."

"And piss on your grave if they had the chance." Hutch added. He sighed heavily. "They're not going to tell me where Starsky is. All they want to do is tell me how much he's suffering."

"Don't let them get to you, son. That's what they want to do." Dobey advised the distraught detective that he considered not just a colleague but a personal friend of his family too. His young daughter, Rosie, fondly called the big blond Uncle Hutch and the brunet was her Uncle Starsky. She was taking Starsky's disappearance badly, often crying herself to sleep at night and remembering him in her prayers.

"It's a little too late for that, Cap." Hutch admitted "They already did. All I can see is them doing those things they described to Starsky."

"Why don't you come over to the house tonight for supper? Edith and Rosie would love to see you." Dobey suggested "And I won't take no for an answer. That's an order. Let's knock off for the day. We've both put in enough overtime this week."

Hutch nodded absently and followed the Captain out of the room and down the hallway to the rear exit to the building. He walked across the parking lot to his car and climbed under the wheel, waiting while Dobey walked to his own car and pulled out of his parking spot. Hutch pulled out behind him and followed him to the suburban neighborhood where the Dobey home was located.

As soon as Hutch walked in the door a tiny whirlwind named Rosie threw herself into his arms. She hugged his neck tightly and showered his face with kisses. "Uncle Hutch," she squealed "I'm so happy to see you!"

"I'm happy to see you too, Rosie Posie." Hutch said, a genuine smile crossing his face for the first time in weeks. The innocent affection of the child was refreshing and soothed his tormented soul. Rosie wiggled out of his arms and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the kitchen. "Mommy, Mommy!" She yelled "Look who came home with Daddy!"

Edith Dobey, an attractive black woman much younger then her husband, smiled as Rosie tugged him into the kitchen. The Captain had already called to inform her of their dinner guest but she hadn't mentioned it to Rosie so that it would be a surprise. "Hello, Hutch." she said "I'm so happy that you could join us. Please, sit down. Supper will be ready in a few minutes."

Hutch sat down on one side of the table with Rosie sitting on his left, the spot usually occupied by Starsky. Like the brunet, Rosie chose that seat because she was a lefty, just like Starsky. By sitting on Hutch's left, they wouldn't hit elbows while they were eating since Hutch was right handed. Captain Dobey took his usual place at the head of the table with Edith sitting on his right.

"I'm sorry that Cal isn't here tonight. He's staying with a friend." Edith told Hutch as she began to sit the food on the table. "He'll be so disappointed that he missed you."

"Maybe next time." Hutch said, surveying the meal laid out before him. Edith's famous fried chicken, mashed potatoes with white gravy, hot buttered rolls, and a fresh garden salad. For the first time in a long time, Hutch actually felt hungry. He honestly couldn't remember the last time that he'd had a decent meal.

The evening passed pleasantly, the topic of Starsky's disappearance being carefully avoided until Rosie innocently asked Hutch a question.

"Uncle Hutch, when is Uncle Starsky coming home? I miss him."

"I don't know, baby." Hutch said, swallowing hard to dislodge the sudden lump that rose in his throat. "I miss him too."

"He is coming home, isn't he?"

"If I have anything to say about it, he sure is." Hutch told her. Rosie gifted him with a huge smile, followed by another hug and kiss.

"Good." Rosie said. Although she had been told that Starsky was away for awhile, her parents had carefully concealed the true facts about Starsky's disappearance. In Rosie's mind he was just lost like she was the day when she accidentally got separated from her parents at a busy street fair.

"Time for bed, young lady." Captain Dobey told her, distracting her before she could ask any more questions about one of her favorite 'uncles'.

"Okay. 'Nite, Uncle Hutch."

"Good night, honey. Sleep tight." Hutch said, gifting the child with a fond smile.

"Good night, Daddy. Good night, Mommy." Rosie said, kissing each of her parents and then running back to give Hutch one more kiss before going to bed.

Hutch rose to his feet, deciding it was time for him to go home too. He appreciated the Dobey families hospitality but he really needed to be alone for a while. The evening, no matter how pleasant, just hadn't seemed right without Starsky by his side. Saying his goodbyes to his hosts, he left and drove back to his own empty, lonely apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

A/N: This chapter does contain a graphic scene of male on male gang rape. If this offends you, please do not read any further.

Starsky was pulled from a restless slumber by hands grabbing at him and pulling him to his feet. Accustomed to the rough treatment and unexpected attacks after his long period of captivity, Starsky didn't resist as they dragged him over to the ladder that had been lowered into the blackness of his prison. Painful slaps and punches forced him up the ladder to the surface. Starsky blinked at the sudden brightness of the sun after his enforced confinement in almost total darkness. He stumbled as the two men who had come for him pushed him towards the large building where the more severe punishments and abuse was doled out, usually in front of the entire congregation. After such a long stretch of almost daily abuse, Starsky was weak and disoriented, but still alert. He hadn't given up entirely but he was close to his breaking point. Most of the fight had been beaten out of him, along with his hope for a miraculous rescue. He could feel his bond with Hutch, his lifeline, growing weaker and weaker every day.

Starsky was led to the front of the building and up onto the familiar raised platform that faced the gathering of followers. This time however, he noticed that something new had been added. 4 large eye bolts had been screwed into the wood. Starsky soon discovered the reason for the eye bolts when he was forced down onto his stomach to the floor. His arms were stretched out over his head and handcuffed to the two eyebolts that were placed there. Then his legs were spread wide and his ankles securely fastened to the two eyebolts placed there. He had been placed in a similar position before when he was beaten with a whip and then a thick wooden paddle. Very painful, but not something he couldn't endure again if he had to.

Starsky immediately sensed something different about this encounter when six of the largest, most muscular men in the congregation stepped forward and surrounded his body. They were all naked, their large cocks proudly on display. As each man began to stroke his organ into full arousal, Starsky prepared himself for another round of sexual abuse. More than once he had been forced to suck another man's cock and once several men in the congregation had masturbated over his bound body and then he had been force fed their semen. Degrading and humiliating, yes, but not physically painful.

He closed his eyes tightly as he felt several pairs of rough hands begin to stroke his body. He whimpered in pain as someone reached between his legs and squeezed his balls tightly. But it was the next move that made his body stiffen, his eyes flying open in alarm, when he felt someone jab their finger into the most vulnerable part of his body, the one place that nobody had ever touched him before until now. He pulled against his bonds, trying unsuccessfully to squirm away from the painful intrusion. He heard the low rumble of laughter as the man violating him deliberately twisted his finger and dug at the sensitive tissue of Starsky's virgin center.

"Noooo…pleaseeee…" Starsky cried out involuntarily, renewed strength born of terror giving him the energy to try and fight back from this particular violation. The men surrounding him just laughed at his pleading and painful gasps as the man added a second finger to the first, stretching out Starsky's anus painfully. The brunet tried, unsuccessfully, to blot out the reality of this latest rape, by far the most painful and feared rape of all.

Starsky was not inexperienced sexually, and he harbored no prejudices against homosexuals, but he had always been straight and had never entertained the thought of letting another man fuck him up the ass. The idea of having another man's cock rammed into him, especially against his will, was incomprehensible to the struggling brunet. Now he knew why these six men had been chosen, they had the biggest cocks in the congregation. This rape had been carefully planned so that it would hurt him the most physically and mentally.

He gasped in relief when he felt the man pulling his fingers out of his ass, but that relief was short lived when his fingers were replaced by the feeling of something much larger and firmer stabbing at the hidden center of his body. As the man lunged forward, burying himself to the hilt inside the burnet with one brutal thrust of his hips, the agonized scream that was ripped from Starsky's throat echoed off the walls. Starsky continued to scream, again and again, as the brutal rape continued unabated. By the time the first man finally ejaculated and pulled out, Starsky was only semi-conscious and nearly incoherent.

But he had no time to recover before the second man was raping him, followed in quick succession by the other four men, until all six men had brutalized him, leaving the brunet torn and bleeding heavily from his anus. But, Starsky didn't notice. He had mercifully lost consciousness during the third rape. When the last man had finished, he stepped back and rejoined the rest of the gathering. Within minutes, the rest of the cult was pulling off their clothes and pairing off for a ritualistic orgy, heedless of their unconscious victim still lying on the platform.

The first rays of the morning sun were rising over the trees when Starsky finally opened his eyes. He moaned softly, his entire body feeling as if it had been torn apart inside. The slightest movement sent waves of agony crashing through his body, especially his ass. He could feel the dried blood that had dripped down the inside of his thighs to the floor and he could smell the foul odor of his own urine and feces. He closed his eyes tightly and prayed for God to take him now so he wouldn't have to endure any more abuse. He had finally been broken, an empty shell of a man that longed for death to free him from his captivity. He let himself drift away, deep into the depths of his own mind. A place where he was safe and with Hutch again.

Much later, two men came into the building and climbed up on the platform to release the captive burnet so that he could be returned to his underground prison. Unfastening his wrists and then his ankles, they lifted up the limp, unresponsive body, supporting Starsky's weight between them, as they began to drag him out of the building. Suddenly, without any warning, Starsky seemed to come alive, pulling away from his captors with any amazing show of strength. Surprised at their normally passive and weak prisoner's sudden surge of resistance, they dropped their hold on his arms. With an roar that sounded like a wounded lion in pain, Starsky lunged at one of the men and sank his teeth deep into the startled man's throat, while his fingers clawed at the man's eyes.

The second man recovered from his momentary lapse and sprang to his friend's rescue but by the time he pulled the outraged brunet away from his partner, the damage had been done. Starsky's teeth had torn out the man's throat. The man fell heavily to the ground, his hands clutching at the gushing wound in his neck as the life slowly drained from his eyes.

The other man quickly grabbed a metal pipe and slammed it against the side of the Starsky's head, dropping him to the ground immediately, and splitting open a deep gash in his forehead. Breathing heavily, he viciously kicked the fallen brunet several times in the chest, stomach and groin. Leaving the unconscious man where he had fallen, he hurriedly went to inform Judas of the brunet's violent attack and murder of one of their own.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

**I apologize to everyone for the error in posting yesterday. Only 10 was posted. Here is chapter 11. I would also like to thank all of you who are reading and reviewing this story (I'd love to hear from more of you. Hint, Hint) For those who have asked, this is a very long tale, over 30 chapters to be exact.**

Hutch carefully made his way through the tangled underbrush to the steep ravine where the latest body had been found. When the corpse's distinctive wrist tattoo was identified as belonging to a member of the elusive cult, Hutch was immediately notified and called to the scene.

A few minutes later, he was standing over the man's body, staring in amazement at the ragged, gapping wound in his neck and the deep scratches around his eyes. Hutch had seen a similar victim with the same kind of neck wound years ago while he was still a rookie and he knew that the man's throat had been viciously torn out by human teeth. It took almost superhuman strength to attack and kill someone that way. The assailant in the previous case had been high on PCP at the time.

"Sergeant Hutchinson," a nervous young rookie said in an awed voice, almost overwhelmed at being in the presence of such a legendary officer in the BCPD. "Sergeant Myers wants to speak to you. He said they found a note on the body addressed to you."

With one final glance at the body, Hutch hurried over to Chuck Myers, a uniformed officer with over twenty years on the force. "What have you got, Chuck?" he asked, anxious to see the note that had been with the body. If it was addressed to him then it might be news about Starsky.

"You better take a look at this, Hutch." Myers said, handing him a neatly folded piece of paper. "It doesn't sound good."

Nervously, Hutch opened the piece of paper, noting his own name and rank written on the front in wobbly black letters. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he read: _Polaris is responsible for this man's murder and he will pay dearly for his actions. Perhaps we will let you know where you can find his body when we are finished with him…_

Hutch blinked back the sudden sting of tears that flooded his eyes. Glancing up towards the sky, he whispered "Score one for you, buddy. At least you got one of the sick bastards…" He took a deep, shuddering breath as he stuffed the note safely into the pocket of his leather jacket. He had no doubt that the note's message was accurate. The cult would make Starsky pay dearly for his actions. And if they made the brunet pay with his life, his death would no doubt be a long drawn out affair with as much suffering as humanly possible first. Killing their victims slowly seemed to be one of the cult's specialty areas.

Hutch closed his eyes and concentrated fiercely but, for the first time since Starsky's disappearance, he could no longer feel his fragile bond with the brunet. There was nothing there, only a deep sense of loss and despair. "Noooooo…." he moaned softly. He had always imagined that if the brunet were truly dead, he would be able to feel it in his own heart and that was exactly what he was feeling now. He had to get out of there before he lost it in front of his fellow officers. Turning, he ran back to the road where he had parked his car. Sliding underneath the wheel, he bowed his head, letting the tears fall freely and without shame. For several, long minutes the big blond gave into to his grief and pain. Finally, composing himself enough to drive, he headed back towards headquarters. Regardless, Hutch vowed to continue his search, praying that he found Starsky before the cult murdered him and if that failed, then until he found the brunet's body and made sure that Starsky had a proper burial. He wasn't ready to give up hope yet.

He went into the building just long enough to leave the note on Captain Dobey's desk along with a hastily written report, then he drove home where he drank himself into a drunken stupor. The next morning, it was too much of an effort to get up and go to work. Unplugging the phone so he wouldn't be disturbed, he started drinking again, letting the alcohol numb his pain and his mind. He never believed that it would really end this way, that one of them would die and leave the other one behind to suffer alone.

Hutch had managed to drink himself into semi-consciousness when Huggy let himself into the apartment and found him, alerted by a concerned call from Captain Dobey when he couldn't reach Hutch by phone. Huggy's brown eyes softened with sadness when he saw the sorry state that his old friend was in. The Captain had told him about the dead cult member and the note that had been found with the body, implying that the brunet had been killed too in retaliation for murdering the other man. Huggy was not surprised to find Hutch in such bad shape. For almost three months he had clung to the desperate hope of finding his best friend and partner alive and now it appeared as if that hope had been shattered.

"Come on, Hutch…" Huggy said softly, groaning as he struggled to heft the big blond to his feet. It was not an easy chore for the much smaller black man but he finally got Hutch up from the sofa and moving in the right direction, towards the bathroom. Huggy pushed Hutch, still fully clothed, into the shower and propped him up against the wall as he fumbled to turn on the cold water.

Hutch spluttered and began swinging his arms wildly as the icy cold spray hit him in the face. More than a few choice words filled the air as he tried to get out from under the shower head while Huggy struggled to keep him inside the tub. By the time, Hutch gave up fighting and slid down to a sitting position in the bottom of the tub, passively letting the water wash over his head, both men were soaking wet.

"Come on, big boy." Huggy finally said as he reached in to turn off the water. "Let's get you into bed." He reached down and tugged at Hutch's hand, the blond slowly rising to his feet, a bit unsteady but steady enough to walk under his own power. Huggy helped him out of the tub and made a quick job of stripping off Hutch's wet clothes. Maneuvering the naked blond into the sleeping alcove, he guided Hutch to the bed, where he collapsed, face down on top of the covers, snoring loudly.

Sighing heavily, Huggy looked down at his own soaked clothing and began searching Hutch's drawers for something suitable to wear. He found a drawer containing several of Starsky's clothes that Hutch kept at his apartment for those occasions when the brunet needed something to wear. Even though he felt uncomfortable wearing Starsky's clothing, he was closer in size to Huggy than Hutch was. Although Huggy was much thinner than Starsky, his pants still fit almost perfectly although his tee shirt was a larger size than Huggy wore. Finding a pair of dry shoes to wear was out of the question. Both men wore a larger size then Huggy did.

Moving into the living room, Huggy found the jack for the phone and plugged it back in so he could call Captain Dobey. The Captain answered on the second ring.

"Yeah, it's the Bear. I found Blondie drunker than a skunk. I got him cleaned up and right now he's in bed, passed out cold."

"Is he okay?" Dobey asked in a concerned voice.

"What do you think?" Huggy snorted "He just lost his best friend and a big part of himself. How do you expect him to be?"

"Stay with him, will you, Huggy?" Dobey said "He's going to need all the help he can get to get through this."

"If he gets through it." Huggy said dryly. "Of course I'll stay. I'm worried about him too. This is going to tear him apart…and it will be even worse if they don't find Starsky's body. Have you called Starsky's mother yet?"

"Yes, I just got off the phone with her. She's pretty broken up but she's a strong lady. I think she's going to hold up okay."

"I'll be in touch when Blondie decides to wake up."

"Tell him to take as much time off as he needs. He's earned it."

"I'll tell him but I doubt he's gonna care much." Huggy said, hanging up the phone without saying good-bye.

Huggy leaned back on the sofa and looked around Hutch's apartment. Everywhere he looked he saw reminders of Starsky. A forgotten jacket hanging on the back of the closet door, a cute little doodle on the pad by the phone of Starsky's car, and pictures everywhere of Starsky and Hutch together in a variety of poses; hanging on the walls, sitting on the top of the piano and a treasured scrapbook of snapshots lying on the coffee table. Hutch would never be able to rid his apartment of Starsky's ghost. The brunet's spirit would linger there forever.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

Hutch scowled as he ripped the completed report from the typewriter and scribbled his signature at the bottom of the page. He tossed it into his out basket and shoved himself to his feet. As he strode towards the door, the other men in the room gave him a wide berth. In the past few months since the ominous note from the cult, they had all watched Hutch's rapid decline into unpredictability and alcoholism. The case was still officially open but with each day that passed without any further word from the cult, hope slowly ebbed away.

Some days he didn't bother showing up for work at all and when he did, he was short tempered and ready to pick a fight at the drop of a hat. He had already been written up twice for insubordination and unexcused absences. Since Starsky's abduction by the cult, several of his colleagues were surprised that the big blond hadn't drank himself to death or eaten a bullet yet. He refused to work with another partner, which suited his co-workers since most of them were afraid to work with him anyway. None of them relished the idea of getting killed because their partner was either drunk or incompetent. .

None of them realized just how often Hutch did consider sticking the barrel of his gun into his mouth and blowing out his brains, especially when he was drunk. He had even tried to a few times. But in the end, it was his own guilt that stopped him. He blamed himself for not finding his partner in time and saving him from the hell he had been put through by the cult. Going on with his own miserable existence was his sentence for failing his partner when Starsky needed him the most. .

As Hutch crossed the hallway to use the men's room, an excited voice called to him from another squad room. "Hey, Hutchinson…I got some guy in here you might want to talk to."

"What the fuck for?" Hutch demanded sullenly, glaring at the man who had dared to interrupt his sneaking into the bathroom for a few drinks from the flask of whiskey hidden in his boot.

"Because he claims that he knows what happened to Starsky but he wants to cut a deal before he tells us anything and he says he'll only talk to you."

Hutch sighed heavily as he detoured down the hallway to the Narcotics Division's squad room. This wasn't the first time that some creep tried to make a deal for himself by claiming to have information about Starsky but they always turned out to be lying. Still, Hutch prayed that someday someone would at least tell him where to find the brunet's body for a proper burial. Until then, he would continue to listen to useless confessions and false leads that led nowhere.

Hutch walked into the squad room and over to a desk where a cocky youth in his early twenties sat handcuffed to a chair. "You got something to tell me, punk?" Hutch snarled "It better be good because if you're wasting my time, you'll be drinking your meals through a straw from now on."

The punk's eyes widened at the image of the big cop with the long hair, mustache and dead looking eyes staring at him coldly. He squirmed in his chair and tried to put on a brave front. "Yeah. How about if I tell you where to find that cop that disappeared last year. Starsky. That was his name, wasn't it?"

Hutch grabbed the front of the much younger man's shirt and hauled him half way out of his chair. "Tell what you think you know." he demanded loudly.

"I want a deal first. Drop the charges against me from B and E to trespassing and I'll tell you what I know."

"Tell me what the fuck you know first!" Hutch said, tightening his grip on the young criminal's shirt with one hand while he swung his other hand, slapping him across the face.

"HUTCHINSON!" the detective that had called him into the room bellowed, stepping forward to protect his prisoner from any more unprovoked attacks from the volatile blonde.

"Tell mewhat you know!" Hutch yelled, getting into the punk's face, his teeth bared like a rabiddog ready to bite.

"Okay, okay!" The young hoodlum said hastily, his voice raising shrilly as he started to panic. "Just chill out, okay?" He glanced around the room at the other cops "Somebody put this guy on a leash! He's dangerous!"

"You have no idea." Thearresting officer said, relaxing when he saw Hutch's grip on the kid's shirt loosen marginally. "I think you better tell Detective Hutchinson what he wants to know and it better be good or I won't be responsible for anything he does to you for wasting his time."

"Talk to me, you little bastard." Hutch growled, pulling up a chair and sitting down so that he was eye level with the possible informant.

"All right," the suspect said, regaining some of his confidence and attitude now that Hutch had backed down. "Last summer…about six months ago…I was hanging out with this bunch of chicks…they all belonged to this weird cult and had these crazy tattoos on their wrists."

"What kind of tattoo?"

"A double row of barbed wire with their names inscribed between the two strands." Thekid answered correctly.

"Go on." Hutch demanded, narrowing his eyes at the kid as he continued.

"They were real hot, ya know…and wild. They loved sex. They'd do anything you could think of and then some." he paused, smiling at the memory.

"Get to the point!" Hutch snapped impatiently. He had no interest into listening to the kid's sexual exploits with the girls from the cult.

"Jeeze…okay." the kid muttered with a pout. "Anyway, one night they took me up to this place where they lived…way up in the hills…away from the city. And they had this wild orgy with everybody fucking everybody else. But before that, they had these six guys gang bang this other guy that they had tied up on this stage. He looked like hell, man. I thought at first he was dead, he was so beat up and skinny."

"What did he look like?" Hutch demanded

"That's kinda hard to say, you know? I mean he was in really bad shape. All I can really tell ya was that he had dark curly hair. Afterwards, one of the chicks I was banging told me that he was a cop and that they had snatched him a few months before that."

"Did anyone ever mention his name" Hutch asked, waiting for the kid's answer nervously. So far his story had a ring of truth to it that Hutch couldn't dismiss.

"Naw, the chick I was with called him something weird….polara or something like that."

"Polaris?" Hutch asked, his voice dropping almost to a whisper.

"Yeah, that could have been it."

"What happened after that?"

"I split when the party was over and came back to the city. I ran into one of the girls a few weeks later and asked her whatever happened to the cop from the party and she told me that he was long gone…buried in the pits of hell, whatever that means."

"Where did they take you for this party?" Hutch said, his voice deceptively calm even though his heart was racing.

"I told you…some place out in the middle of nowhere up the hills…outside the city."

"Could you remember how to get there if you tried?"

"Hell, I don't know. It's been a while, ya know?" His eyes narrowed speculatively "But maybe I could remember if we could cut a deal."

"You take me and a team of other officers to where ever that party was and you can have any fucking deal you want." Hutch promised recklessly.

"Okay. You're on." the kid said with a smug, satisfied smile.

"Take good care of this kid, Jameson." Hutch ordered the arresting officer "Don't let him out of your sight until I talk to Dobey."

"Sure, Hutch. Hey, if you're going to have this little dick wad act as your guide up into the hills, I'd sure like to tag along."

"So would I." said Jameson's partner, a man named Ortega

"Me too." volunteered another detective in the room. Most of the other men in the room quickly raised their voices to volunteer too. They had known Starsky, if not personally, then by sight and reputation. He was one of their own and it was time to bring him home.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

After several hours and more than one wrong turn, the young man acting as their guide had finally led a group of officers numbering over thirty men strong, to a rundown, apparently abandoned ranch high up in the hills about twenty miles from the city. They would never had found it on their own, the location was so remote and isolated and it was well concealed by athick forest of trees. The officers, all dressed in bullet proof vests and full riot gear as an added precaution, stealthily followed Hutch to the edge of the woods where they came to the barbed wire fence that surrounded the property.

Under the cover of the thick foliage surrounding them, the officers spotted several people, men and women, milling around the scattered assortment of buildings that made up the ranch. Peering through a pair of high powered binoculars, Hutch easily identified the distinctive tattoo on their wrists. His heart pounded with excitement. They had finally found the hidden compound of the elusive cult. He secretly prayed to a god that he no longer believed in that he would find Starsky's remains hidden somewhere on the property too.

"On my signal…we go." Hutch whispered loudly to the men gathered around him.

"You got it, Hutch." Several of them whispered back. They knew how much the success of this raid meant not only to Hutch but to the entire department. It wouldn't bring their fallen comrade back but, if they found his body, it would finally bring him justice for his brutal and senseless murder.

Hutch nodded and held up three fingers for everyone to see. He began a silent countdown, lowering one finger at a time As soon as he lowered the third finger, they jumped the fence and stormed the compound, several of them yelling "POLICE! FREEZE! THIS IS A RAID!" The cult members that were outside immediately began running for the relative safety of the buildings, the women screaming loudly. The men gave chase, easily rounding up and handcuffing several of the members who simply stopped and gave themselves up. The cult had never been known to use guns, just knifes and clubs, so they weren't particularly worried about being fired on but they didn't take any chances as they approached the buildings. They spilt up into five smaller groups each consisting of six men, to enter the separate buildings on the property.

Hutch and his men entered a communal bath and shower room where they found several naked members of the cult, some in the showers and some lounging around the room making out. Taken by surprise, most of them high on something, they were easily rounded up and put under arrest. By the time they finished with their prisoners, the other officers were also finishing up. In the end, they gathered up and arrested over sixty-five cult members. A young girl barely in her teens readily pointed out Judas and Ginger, the two people Hutch was particularly interested in talking to. Some of the officers escorted the majority of the prisoners back to the waiting vans to transport them back to Bay City, while six men remained with Hutch to make an extensive search of the grounds to try and find Starsky's remains.

But, first, Hutch wanted to interrogate Judas and Ginger. Without any preamble, Hutch glared at the two prisoners that he held directly responsible for his partner's abduction and eventual murder and said, "You know who I am and why I'm here."

"Of course." Judas said in the smug voice. "You're the White Knight and you're here looking for Polaris." Hutch flinched at the cult leader's use of the nicknames that Marcus had coined for him and Starsky. "But you've arrived too late to save the Black Knight, he is no longer here. His soul has left this earthly realm and now resides in the pits of hell."

"Where's his body?" Hutch demanded "At least tell me that so that I can give him a decent burial."

"He is already buried…in the pits of hell." Judas repeated with a thin smile.

"Get him the hell out of here before I kill him with my bare hands." Hutch snarled, losing patience with the man's word games. As one of the officers led Judas away, Hutch turned his attention to the silent, and beautiful, Ginger. With her, he decided to try a different approach.

"You helped to abduct my partner. You brought him here knowing exactly who he was and what your friends had planned for him." He said calmly.

"Of course. That was what I was ordered to do by the Messiah." She said with a seductive smile and a toss of her long red hair.

"You mean by Simon Marcus. How did he order you to do that when he's rotting in San Quentin?"

"His body may be imprisoned but his spirit roams free. He comes to Judas in his dreams and in ours." She stated.

"Who tells you what your dreams mean? Judas?"

"Of course. He is our spiritual leader."

"Tell me why you wanted Starsky?"

"Because that was our Messiah's desire, of course." Ginger said as if she were talking to a child. "Polaris was taken from him before he could fulfill his destiny."

"So, Judas decided to take my partner and torture him, then kill him in the name of Simon Marcus?" Hutch askedin a sarcastic tone, barely concealing his contempt for the woman and her beliefs.

"No…Polaris was justly punished for killing one of us." Ginger said defensively.

"Where's his body?" Hutch pleaded with the redhead, hoping to get through to whatever human side she still might possess.

"Judas already told you." she said "He's buried in the pits of hell."

Realizing that he wasn't going to get any more useful information from the redhead, he signaled for another officer to take her away. Looking at the remaining men, he said, "We're going to have to do our own search and there's a lot of ground to cover."

"Hutch, it's going to be dark soon." Jameson spoke up, risking the big blond's wrath. "Why don't we wrap things up here for now and come back tomorrow with more men and some of the cadaver dogs? If Starsky's body is here…one more day isn't going to make any difference."

"We can do that but I'd like to do a preliminary search of the buildings first." Hutch said "We need to secure any evidence that we might find."

The other men agreed and they began a systematic search of the buildings on the property. Most of them held items of little interest to their search for Starsky, although they did find identification and other personal possessions that could be linked to several missing girls in the past two years. At least some parents might finally have some answers about their missing children. In the last building they searched, a large building with the raised platform at one end that Hutch recognized from the video he had seen, the blond found several unmarked video tapes which he confiscated as possible evidence. He also found a small locked box hidden away behind the makeshift stage.

Using his pocketknife to snap the lock, he choked up when he saw the contents of the box. He had found Starsky's wallet, his badge, and the most precious items of all, the two rings that Starsky had always worn on his left pinkie finger, along with his Chinese coin necklace on the leather thong that he wore around his neck. He had never taken the rings off his hand. They had belonged to his father who was murdered in a drive-by shooting when Starsky was twelve years old. He had died in his eldest son's arms. Hutch clutched the box to his chest, determined that nobody was going to get it away from him. It contained Starsky's most personal possessions and Hutch intended to keep them for himself in his partner's memory. It might seem like a selfish gesture on his part but those things meant more to him than all the money in the world ever could. He knew that Starsky's mother, Rachel, would understand and approve. She knew how close the two men were and how much her eldest child had loved Hutch. And it had been love between the two men, just not the type of love that some of their disgruntled peers liked to imply about their unique relationship in the vicious rumors that they hadspread around headquarters in guarded whispers and veiled innuendos.

With their tasks done for the day and darkness rapidly approaching, the men prepared to return to the city with their prisoners. They still had a long night ahead of them, booking their prisoners, writing up reports and logging in the evidence thatthey had gathered. Tomorrow they would return, bright and early, with more reinforcements, the dogs and a team from the crime lab to do an more exhaustive search of the property.

Hutch was terrified at what they might find. He wasn't sure he could handle it if they found the brunet's grave. But, if they did, at least he could finally lay his friend to rest.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

Early the next morning, Hutch, accompanied by ten additional officers, and a team from the crime lab returned to the ranch. They were all prepared for an extensive search of the property, looking not only for additional evidence that could be used against the cult but also for Starsky's remains. Two of the men had brought specially trained cadaver dogs, dogs were trained to sniff out a dead body, even one that had been buried for quite some time. After a few last minute instructions, the search began. Everyone deferred to Hutch and his orders, well aware that he was the senior officer in charge.

Since the property was so large and spread out, they divided into two teams and broke the area into two quadrants. Then those quadrants were broken down into smaller segments with each man on the team assigned to his own search perimeter. By late afternoon, they had covered most of the property. They had uncovered additional evidence that linked the cult to several other missing person's cases, three murders and several other unsolved crimes in the area. The dogs had discovered two corpses buried in shallow graves, both babies that had apparently died in infancy, but no sign of the missing brunet.

The only area that remained to be searched was the huge old barn that sat at the back of the property. The cult kept a couple of cows, both for meat and for milk, a horse, some pigs and several chickens in pens inside the barn. The animals all appeared to be well fed and cared for, their pens clean and filled with fresh hay. Swallows roosted in the rafters, fluttering nervously from one beam to another when the strangers invaded their space.

Suddenly, one of the dogs began barking and pulling at his leash. "The dog's hit on something!" His trainer called out to Hutch, who immediately joined the trainer. The trainer let the dog have his head and he immediately went to the far corner of the barn where there was a large pile of loose hay. The dog began pawing at the hay trying to reach something that he smelled underneath. Hutch, the trainer and the other men immediately began grabbing handfuls of straw and tossing it aside. Within a few minutes, they had uncovered a hidden trap door in the floor of the bar. Hutch exchanged a glance with the other men before reaching down and opening the trapdoor. The trainer held firmly onto the dog's leash as the distinctive stench of decay drifted up out of the darkness below.

"Get me that ladder." Hutch ordered one of the men, who immediately retrieved a long ladder leaning against one of the stalls. With the man's help, Hutch lowered the ladder down into the dark pit that had been dug in the ground and hidden by the trap door in the barn floor. "Hand me a flashlight." Hutch said "I'm going down." From the rank odor assaulting his nostrils Hutch knew that whatever lay at the bottom of the pit, it would not be pleasant.

One of the men handed him a large flashlight. Holding it securely in one hand, he slowly began to descend the ladder into the darkness. The odor in the pit grew stronger and more offensive as he climbed lower. It was a nauseating combination of decay, decomposition, vomit, urine and feces. The foul air was almost impossible to breathe and Hutch had to fight to keep from gagging and retreating out of the hole.

Hutch tried to calm the frantic beating of his heart as he neared the bottom of the pit. He was positive that he was going to find Starsky's remains concealed in the darkness. I'm coming, buddy…I'm coming. The knot of fear in the pit of his stomach was impossible to ignore as his feet touched solid ground.

Hutch stepped down into a slimy mass lying on the ground. Turning the flashlight, he shined the beam at his feet and was immensely relieved that that he had skipped breakfast that morning. The badly decomposed body of a large barn cat was lying there. The animal's neck appeared to be broken and it's stomach had been ripped open. Sweeping the light in a small arc around the pit, Hutch immediately noticed several other dead animals, mostly rats, lying around in various stages of decomposition. He shuddered involuntarily as he slowly advanced into the depths of the pit. The beam of light in his hand settled on a large wooden stake driven deep into the ground with a thick, heavy chain attached to it.

Holding his breath against the nearly unbearable stench in the air, Hutch followed the length of the chain with the light. "Holy Sweet Mother of God…" he hissed under his breath when the light fell on a body, curled tightly into a fetal position near the back of the pit. The chain was attached to a leather collar fastened around the neck and held in place by a tiny padlock. The body was emaciated, almost skeletal in appearance, but it was not decomposed. If the chained captive was dead, they had not been dead long. Hutch could not see the person's face, just long, dark strings of matted hair that fell over the thin shoulders. The image of the decomposing cat with the broken neck and ripped open stomach took on an unsettling significance as Hutch stared at the body lying in front of him. "Starsky?" Hutch whispered in a voice that cracked with emotion as he slowly moved towards the body.

Suddenly, the body moved, startling Hutch so badly that he cried out and took an involuntary step backwards. "GET ME SOME HELP DOWN HERE!" He yelled out to the men above. "I GOT A LIVE VICTIM! WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME BOLT CUTTERS TO GET THEM OUT OF HERE!" Regaining his composure, he stepped forward, intending to render whatever aide he could, positive that he had finally found his missing partner.

He stopped when a deep growling sound seemed to come from the victim. Hutch watched as the head slowly moved, and a pair of wild looking eyes stared directly into his, eyes that he knew as well as he knew his own. Sapphire eyes that held no sign of recognition or even humanity. Hutch felt his heart twisting in his chest as he started to hyperventilate. He couldn't believe the evidence right before his eyes. It was Starsky and he was still alive!

"Starsk? Buddy…" Hutch whispered in a broken voice as he fell to his knees and reached out his hand towards his missing partner.

Starsky's reaction was immediate and deadly. He growled like an animal and jumped to his feet, lunging forward with his teeth bared and ready to attack anyone who got too close, even Hutch. The chain around his neck tightened, the only thing that kept him from reaching Hutch and attacking him. An inhuman scream escaped from Starsky's cracked and swollen lips when the chain stopped him from reaching his prey.

"HUTCHINSON! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN THERE!" Jameson yelled as soon as he heard the ungodly scream. "I'M COMING DOWN!"

"NO!" Hutch yelled back "STAY WHERE YOU ARE! I'M COMING UP!" Hutch looked back at his partner and whispered gently "Hang in there, buddy…I'll be right back." He knew that he was going to need help to get Starsky out of the pit without hurting him or without the brunet hurting any of them. The creature in front of him no longer resembled David Starsky. He was more animal than human and far more dangerous in his present condition.

Hutch hurried back up the ladder. The other men were gathered around the edge of the pit, peering down into the darkness as they tried to assessthe danger below.

"What the fuck is down there?" Detective Roger Clemons demanded as Hutch appeared at the top of the ladder. "It sure as hell didn't sound human to me!"

Hutch took a deep shuddering breath and looked at the worried and scared faces of his friends and colleagues. "It's Starsky and he's still alive." He told them in a carefully controlled voice.

"That was Starsky?" Jameson said in a stunned voice "He made that god awful scream? What the fuck did those monsters do to him?"

"I don't know." Hutch admitted. "It looks like he's been down there for a while without much human contact. I think we're going to have to sedate him to get him out of there. He's not going to let anyone get near him. He didn't even recognize me."

"Holy shit." Someone muttered, voicing the opinion of most of the other officers gathered around Hutch. None of them had expected to find Starsky alive and it was tremendous shock to all of them, especially Hutch who had convinced himself over the past few months that his partner was really dead and gone forever.

"I've got a tranquilizer gun in the car." Jerry Cullin spoke up. "The dart should knock him out for at least a couple of hours."

"Okay, go get it. We need to get him out of there and to a hospital as soon as possible. There's not enough time to wait on an ambulance. I'll take him in my car." Hutch said. "Pete, use your radio to get hold of Dobey and fill him in. Tell him to meet me at Memorial and to alert the staff that we're on our way in as soon as we get Starsky out of there." Although Hutch's voice was calm and firm, he was shaking inside from the shock of finding his partner still alive and in such horrendous condition.

Ten minutes later, Hutch prepared to descend back down into the pit along with Jerry, who had retrieved the small tranquilizer gun from his vehicle that he was sometimes forced to use on psychotic patients to sedate them so they could be placed under arrest. Besides being a police officer, Jerry was also a trained paramedic and Hutch was grateful that he had volunteered to come along on the search. Starsky was going to need all the help he could get.

When they reached the bottom of the ladder, Hutch swung his flashlight back towards the corner where Starsky was held prisoner. Starsky immediately began growling again like a cornered animal. When the beam of light hit his face, he screamed and lowered his head to avoid the glare of the light shining in his eyes. That was when Jerry took aim and fired, the tiny dart lodging deep in Starsky's left shoulder.

When the dart bit into his skin, Starsky screamed again, this time in outrage, and grabbed at the dart, pulling it out of his shoulder and tossing it to the ground. Growling at the two men facing him from across the room, he bared his teeth in an clear threat, warning them both to keep their distance.

"It should only take a few minutes for the sedative to take effect." Jerry whispered to Hutch as they watched Starsky warily. It was almost impossible to see much in the darkness of the pit but Jerry had seen enough in the brief moment that the light had shone on Starsky's face to agree with Hutch's assessment that the brunet was indeed in bad shape.

Within a few minutes, Starsky began to sway unsteadily on his feet. Finally, he sat down heavily on the ground, then fell over onto his side with his eyes closed.

"He's out." Jerry said "Let's get him the hell out of here."

The two men quickly moved to Starsky's side and Hutch used the bolt cutters Ernie had found to cut the lock that held the heavy chain to the collar around the brunet's throat. The chain fell the ground with a thud, freeing Starsky from his captivity at last. Hutch dropped the bolt cutters to the ground and stuffed the flashlight into the waistband of his jeans. He slipped his arms underneath the unconscious Starsky's armpits, while Jerry grabbed his ankles and they carried him over to the ladder. His weight loss was immediately noticeable when they reached the ladder and Hutch easily slung the limp body over his shoulder in a modified fireman's carry.

Hutch started climbing up the ladder first, awkwardly balancing his precious burden with one hand, as he used his other hand to pull himself from one rung to the other. Jerry followed close behind to catch them both if Hutch started to fall. As soon as the big blond was close enough to the surface, hands began reaching out for Starsky, pulling him out of the pit first and gently lying him down on the ground. As Hutch and Jerry climbed out of the pit, Hutch got his first good look at the condition his partner was in.

The sight of the damage and injuries to the brunet's body was heartbreaking. Even the officers who had known him for years barely recognized him. His hair was long, hanging to his shoulders and tangled in large mats, a dark beard covered his face and it was just as matted and dirty as his hair. His body was so emaciated that he looked like one of the concentration camp survivors shown in pictures of the holocaust. Every bone was clearly outlined underneath his tightly stretched skin. His muscles had lost their tone and his normally muscular build was non-existent.

The soles of his feet were caked with embedded dirt and grim, most of his toenails appeared to be missing and the nail beds seemed to infected. His fingernails were dirty and broken, some of them also missing with infected nail beds. Large bruises covered much of his torso, especially his stomach and both flanks directly over his kidneys. Cuts and gashes, some fresh and others in various stages of healing, covered most of his body. There were rope burns around both wrists and his ankles, as well as his throat and thin scars across his back, shoulders and buttocks that appeared to have been made by a whip of some sort. His groin and genitals were swollen and discolored with a heavy discharge from his penis. The extent of his ordeal was painfully obvious to everyone present. The fact that he was still alive despite what he had been through was nothing short of miraculous.

"He's not breathing very well." Jerry said,after a quick, preliminary examination of the unconscious brunet. "His lungs are heavily congested, probably pneumonia. A lot of those wounds are badly infected and need immediate medical attention and he may have some kidney or urinary tract damage. He's also grossly underweight, malnourished and dehydrated." Jerry sighed heavily and looked at Hutch somberly "And his mental status is definitely impaired."

"Let's get him out of here and to the hospital." Hutch growled, fighting to keep his emotions in check. He found himself wondering if he had done Starsky any favors by finding him or if the brunet was damaged beyond repair.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

**A/N: I really hope that you are all enjoying this story so far. I intentionally did not warn anyone that this was not a death fic because I wanted that element of surprise when Starsky was finally found. Now, on to Part Two of this story.**

**Also, please note that although I have tried to portray authentic treatment methods this is still a work of fiction and any discrepancies that may occur are mine alone.**

Hutch and Jerry maneuvered Starsky's limp body into the backseat of Hutch's car and Jerry climbed in beside him. With one final glance at his partner's battered body and nearly unrecognizable features, now wrapped in a white blanket from the trunk of Jerry's car, Hutch slid under the wheel and turned the key. Thankfully, the engine started without a problem and he tore off down the gully washed road to the main highway that led into the city.

The sedative kept Starsky under until they arrived at the hospital. Alerted to their arrival by Captain Dobey, a team of doctors was waiting for them. The seriously injured brunet was placed on a gurney and wheeled out of sight, leaving a dejected Hutch behind. He found Captain Dobey, Huggy Bear and another co-worker, Minnie Kaplin, sitting in the emergency room waiting room.

"You did it, man…" Huggy gushed when he spotted the exhausted blond. He cracked a huge smile. "You found Starsky."

"He's bad…really bad." Hutch said quietly, sinking into a nearby chair. "I can't believe he's still alive."

"None of us could have anticipated this." Dobey intoned gruffly. "Everything we had indicated that the cult had killed him and disposed of his body somewhere." Finding out that the dark half of his best team was still among the living had shocked and surprised Dobey as much as it had everyone else. Already the rumor mill at headquarters was buzzing about the brunet's return from the dead.

"They had him chained up in a hole in the ground like some kind of animal." Hutch said, his voice reflecting his rage at the condition he had found his partner in. "It was horrible."

"At least he's safe and in good hands." Minnie said encouragingly as she reached out to pat the back of Hutch's hand. She had a soft spot in her heart for both detectives but especially the curly haired flirt with the devilish grin. Like her fellow co-workers, she had mourned his passing when it appeared that he had been killed and had rejoiced when she had heard the news that he had been found alive at the cult's hidden compound.

"He didn't even recognise me." Hutch said in a dejected voice that clearly mirrored the hurt and emotional pain he felt at his partner's rejection of their long friendship. "He growled and snapped at me like some kind of caged animal."

"You gotta have faith, Blondie," Huggy said "The doctors will fix him up. You'll see. He made it this far and you know that Curly doesn't give up without a fight."

"You didn't see him, Huggy…" Hutch said flatly, staring at the wall above the black man's head. "He doesn't even look like himself anymore." He looked at his friends, his ice blue eyes filled with a deep sadness. "I'm really scared…I'm not sure he's gonna make it."

"Don't talk like that, honey." Minnie said soothingly. "You're exhausted. You need some rest and something to eat. Why don't I run down to the cafeteria and get us all something to eat? We could be here for a while." Without waiting for anyone to consent to her plan, she gracefully rose to her feet and left the waiting room.

Patients came and went, along with visitors, during the rest of the afternoon. Hutch looked up anxiously each time a doctor came into the waiting room but they always called someone else's name, never the name he longed to hear. Other friends and co-workers arrived at the hospital to join them in their lonely vigil, showing their unwavering support not only for Starsky but for Hutch too. Conversation was kept to a minimum and attempts to draw Hutch out of his depressed slump were largely unsuccessful. He drank cup after cup of bitter coffee, the bagel Minnie had brought him from the cafeteria sitting uneaten on the empty chair beside him.

Finally, after almost eight hours of waiting, a doctor stepped into the waiting room and looked around at the worried faces. "Family for David Starsky." Hutch immediately bounced to his feet before the doctor had even finished speaking. He was joined by Captain Dobey, Huggy Bear and Minnie as they all descended on the startled doctor. "Uh…are you all here for Mr. Starsky?" he said "Which ones of you are family members?"

"We're the closest thing he has to a family in the city." Hutch informed him "His mother lives in New York. I'm Detective Hutchinson and he's my partner. This is our commanding officer, Captain Dobey, and these are two close friends." Hutch made the formal introductions and then looked at the doctor expectantly.

"This is highly irregular." the doctor said "Normally patient information is restricted to immediate family members…"

"Cut the crap, doc." Hutch said in an irritated voice. "I have medical power of attorney for my partner and a copy of that is in his medical records. And I have no problems with everyone else hearing whatever you have to say. Starsky wouldn't either."

"Very well," the doctor said, choosing his battles wisely and choosing not to irritate the big blond any further. "Why don't we go into one of the offices so we can talk privately?"

He led them down the hallway into an empty corner office. The doctor closed the door behind them and then turned to face the gathering standing in front of the desk that sat in the middle of the room, ignoring the more comfortable chairs and sofa that tastefully decorated the office. Clearing his throat nervously, he began his summary. "My name is Doctor Mason and I treated Mr. Starsky…."

"Detective Starsky." Hutch cut in, correcting the doctor, who frowned at the interruption.

"As I was saying," he said, beginning again "I treated Detective Starsky in the emergency room and to perfectly honest with you, he's in very bad shape. I have seldom seen a patient in such bad condition who was still alive but I'm sure you already realize that."

"Is he going to be okay?" Hutch asked, voicing the only question he wanted an immediate answer to.

"That remains to be seen. His condition is critical. He is severely malnourished and dehydrated with numerous infections, including a Staph infection that has infiltrated his blood stream. There is evidence of several broken bones that have healed without receiving adequate medical care and he has a severe case of bronchial pneumonia.

He has also been treated for gonorrhea and syphilis. We had to sedate him heavily and put him in restraints while we were treating him because he became very violent and combative. I have asked for a psychiatric consultation. The next few days will be critical as we try to treat the various infections, along with pneumonia, and get them under control."

"Can we see him?" Hutch asked

"I wouldn't advise that tonight. He's still sedated and the nurses have their hands full trying to get him cleaned up."

"We can wait until tomorrow." Dobey said . "But I would strongly suggest that you let Detective Hutchinson see his partner tonight for his own peace of mind."

"That will be up to the nursing staff. He's on the fifth floor. Room 532." The doctor said, anxious to be on his way. Without any further conversation, he turned and left the office, leaving the group of friends to stare after his rapidly retreating back.

"That's some bedside manner." Huggy commented dryly "He's about as friendly as Wet Willie, the loan shark."

"I'm going to see Starsky." Hutch said in a determined voice.

Not surprised by Hutch's statement, Captain Dobey nodded. "Go on. We can find our own way out. Call me if you need anything or if there's any change in his condition."

"You take care of yourself too, honey," Minnie said, standing on her tiptoes to give the big blond a peck on the cheek. "Promise me that you'll get some rest and something to eat."

"I will. I promise." Hutch told her with a warm smile.

"I'll make sure he eats." Huggy declared. "I'll bring him some food later."

Grateful for such good friends, Hutch smiled and walked with them out the door. He turned in one direction heading toward the elevators, while they turned in the opposite direction towards the exit. When he got off on the fifth floor, he was pleased to see a familiar face, a nurse named Molly Howard. She had treated both detectives in the past during some of their numerous hospital stays. Hutch had even dated her a couple of times.

"Hutch!" She squealed in delight when she saw his handsome face. She immediately gave him a heartfelt hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I couldn't believe it when they brought David in. He looks terrible!" she said "I've been following the story in the paper. I thought they said David was dead."

"Everybody thought he was." Hutch told her, anxious to get to his partner's side.

"You mean that crazy cult has had him all this time? They did this to him?"

"Yeah."

"That's horrible. I know you're probably anxious to see him but Tina and Carol are still trying to get him cleaned up. Why don't you join me in the nurse's lounge for a cup of coffee while you're waiting?"

"I need to see Starsky. I need to know he's okay." Hutch said, his eyes pleading with her to understand.

"I know you do, hon…but let the girls get him settled in first. Then you can see him. I promise." she smiled fondly at the obviously distraught blond. "Now, how about that coffee?"

"I think I've had enough coffee for one night."

"Then how about a sandwich and some company?" Molly asked with a grin. "You look like you could use both."

"Okay." Hutch said hesitantly, "You promise I can see Starsky soon?"

"I promise." Molly said, linking her arm through his to gently guide him down the hall to the tastefully decorated nurse's lounge. Molly closed the door so they wouldn't be disturbed and motioned for him to sit down on the leather bound sofa. Opening the tiny refrigerator sitting in one corner of the room, she pulled out a paper bag and then sat down beside him on the couch.

"Consider yourself lucky," she teased him playfully. "I don't share my lunch with just anybody."

Hutch chuckled and accepted the chicken salad sandwich she offered him while she pulled a salad out of the bag. Hutch handed her back half of the sandwich after he unwrapped it. Molly poured a light dressing over the salad and they began to eat. Hutch was surprised to discover how hungry he was. When he had finished his half of the sandwich, Molly immediately handed him her half. Hutch smiled faintly as he accepted it. Molly knew him too well. She knew that he probably hadn't eaten all day and so she had decided that he needed it more than she did.

"Is Starsky going to be okay?" he asked, voicing his biggest fear to the woman he could trust to be honest with him.

"We're all going to do the best we can and we're going to take real good care of him." Molly told him. "The rest is in God's hands and it looks like David has had his help so far."


	16. Chapter 16

**I would like to thank all my faithful readers who have stuck with me during this time when I've had limited internet access due to my R/L issues. This story is for you. I would also like to thank the following for their recent reviews. Again, due to limited internet access, I haven't been able to reply to everyone like I would like to: Aussie Angie, Rsb57, Brook5 (who is one of muses. I miss you!) Julie 250, Jan in VA and Gaillardia. Thanks for your consistent reviews. I"m glad you're enjoying the story! I promise I will get Starsky out of this!**

**CHAPTER 16**

Hutch stood quietly in one corner of the room and watched as the nurses tended to his heavily sedated partner. It had been three days since Starsky had been admitted to the hospital amdhe was holding his own. But, the doctors still had to keep him sedated and restrained or he continued to be violent and combative. Molly had spent hours trimming his matted hair and shaving his heavy growth of beard so at least he resembled the brunet that Hutch remembered. His hair was shorter than Starsky preferred to wear it but that was the only way Molly had been able to get out the mats and tangles. Now it lay in the familiar soft ringlets of curls, framing his gaunt face. Deprived of sunlight for so long, Starsky's normally olive toned skin was dry and pale. He also had a sensitivity to light and sound, so the lights in the room were kept dimmed at all times and the blinds drawn over the window. The noise level was also kept to a bare minimum. Even in his sedated state, any loud or unexpected sound still made the brunet start violently.

Due to his violent behavior when he wasn't under the effects of the sedation, his mental status was still questionable. If he was awake, his eyes were still wild and showed no sign of recognition for Hutch or for his surroundings. He still didn't talk, he growled and hissed at people, baring his teeth and trying to bite anyone who got too close. If anyone touched him when he was awake, his blood curdling screams echoed down the hallways. The hospital psychiatrist had already examined him but the exam was only a cursory one since Starsky was in no condition mentally to be tested in the usual manner.

Hutch planned on talking to the psychiatrist that afternoon when he made his rounds.

Starsky's naked body was covered by a sheet and most of his injuries had been treated. Some of them had required stitches and bandaging while others simply needed to be cleaned and then left open to the air so they could heal. He had been bathed several times before all the embedded grime and dirt had been removed from his body. Three molars in his lower jaw had had to be removed because they had been broken or cracked at some point during his captivity. Hutch could only imagine how painful those exposed nerves must have been.

Starsky had an IV in his left arm to keep him hydrated and a feeding tube had been inserted directly into his stomach so that he could get the necessary nutrients, vitamins and minerals he needed to start regaining some of the weight he had lost. On his admission to the hospital, he had only weighed one hundred and ten pounds, over 70 pounds below his normal body weight. He had a catheter inserted to drain his bladder and he was still being treated for the venereal disease that had caused the thick, foul discharge from his penis. His kidneys had been severely bruised but the damage was not permanent. He was also being treated for a resistant urinary tract infection that had been complicated by the damage to his kidneys and the sexually transmitted diseases.

A brain scan had not shown any brain damage although there was evidence of a previous concussion and a blood clot that had been left untreated. His left forearm had also been broken at some point and left to heal without medical attention. The bone had not healed right, so the doctors had operated to break the bone and reset it correctly. As the laundry list of his numerous injuries was documented, Hutch's horror and outrage grew as he realized the extent of the torture his partner had endured over the past year.

When the nursesfinished their tasks, Hutch took his usual seat in the chair by the brunet's side. He hadn't left the hospital since Starsky had been admitted except to make a quick trip to his apartment to shower and change clothes. Hutch rested his hand on the back of Starsky's right hand. Even thought the brunet wasn't aware that he was there, Hutch desperately needed that physical contact with his friend. He had been without it for much too long. The warmth of the skin beneath his hand was a constant assurance that Starsky was really there and he was still alive.

"Hey, buddy. I'm right here so you can rest easy. I got your back." Hutch whispered softly into a curl covered ear. "You have to get better and come back to me, partner. I need you and I miss you." Hutch either talked or sang to the Starsky almost constantly even though there was no indication that the brunet heard him.

With the nursing staff's approval, Hutch had also taken over a lot of Starsky's personal care, including bed bathes, his personal hygiene, emptying the urine bag, marking down Starsky's output on the sheet, and changing his bed daily. For Hutch, doing all those little things for Starsky, helped to reestablish the bond that had held them together for so many years. It bothered him that he couldn't 'feel' Starsky the way he used to but he hoped that would return in time.

Due to the publicity both the case and Starsky's rescue had generated, there was a guard posted at his door and he was registered under an alias. Photographers and reporters were barred from the hospital to protect his privacy, as well as to keep the news about his current condition from leaking out to the press.

The television mounted on the wall in front of the bed was turned on with it's sound muted, the flickering light from the screen providing a familiar and comfortable distraction. Hutch deliberately kept the channel turned to the one Starsky liked the best, the one that showed his favorite old horror movies from the forties and the fifties.

Hutch glanced up as the door opened and Molly peeked into the room. In a soft voice, she said, "Doctor McGraw is done with his rounds and can talk to you now."

"Thanks," Hutch said, shoving himself to his feet so that he could go and talk to the psychiatrist in charge of Starsky's case. He followed Molly back to the nurse's station where a distinguished looking man in his late fifties with gray hair and a mustache was busy writing in some charts. He glanced up at Hutch and smiled thinly. "Oh, yes…Detective Hutchinson." He said "I believe you wanted to talk to me about your friend's test results."

"Yes, I did."

"Frankly, I'm afraid the news isn't very promising. From what you have told me, as well as the reports from the medical staff and my own observations, I would have to say that in my professional opinion, that Detective Starsky's mind has been damaged beyond repair from his ordeal. I would advise permanent institutionalization."

Hutch stared coldly at the doctor for several long minutes before saying in a tightly controlled voice "You're fired. I'll find another psychiatrist to take a look at him."

"That's your right, of course." The doctor said in an aloof tone, obviously unaccustomed to having his professional opinion questioned. "But, I can assure that another psychiatrist is going to tell you the same thing. Your friend is psychotic and a serious danger both to himself and to others. He needs to be put somewhere where he can receive the specialized care that he's going to require for the rest of his life."

"We'll see about that." Hutch said coldly, turning on his heel and marching back to Starsky's room. The doctors words had cut deeply, reinforcing one of Hutch's deepest fears, that Starsky would never be the same again. But, like Starsky, Hutch wasn't one to give up without a fight. He would seek a second opinion and then a third one if he had to. There had to be someone out there that could help Starsky.

Suddenly, Hutch had an inspiration. Changing directions, he walked back to the waiting room where there was a phone sitting on a table for both patients and visitors to use. Sitting down on the chair beside the table he picked up the receiver and dialed information.

"Yes," he said when a pleasant sounding voice came on the line and asked if they could help him. "I'd like the number for a Doctor Steven Reynolds. He's a psychiatrist."

"Office or home number?"

"Both please."

After a brief wait, the woman replied "His office number is 555-5670 and his home number is 555-3321."

"Thank you. Could you connect me to his office number please?"

"Certainly, sir. One moment please."

After another brief wait and three rings, a recorded message informed him that the doctor was off on Tuesdays. Hutch pressed down on the cradle to disconnect, then immediately dialed the doctor's home number. After five rings, a familiar male voice said, "This is Doctor Reynolds. May I help you?"

"Steve?" Hutch said, relieved to have gotten through. "This is Ken. Ken Hutchinson."

"Hutch!" he exclaimed in a pleased tone. "You old son of a gun. How are you?"

"Okay. Look, I know it's been a long time…but I need a favor." Hutch had met Steve Reynolds in medical school and they had become friends. They had lost touch after Hutch quit school to join the police force but Hutch had seen articles in the newspaper about Steve's successful practice.

"Name it."

"I'm a cop for the BCPD now and my partner is in the hospital. I could really use your help."

"Is your partner that cop that was being held by that cult all this time?" Steve asked "Starsky, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I thought I remembered seeing your name in connection with his disappearance last year. Sure, what do you need me to do?"

"He's in Memorial hospital. He was in pretty bad shape when I found him. Not just physically but mentally. The shrink that works for the hospital wants to institutionalize him. He says that he's psychotic and that his mind is damaged beyond repair."

"And you don't believe that?"

"I don't believe he can make that kind of judgment call based on a few reports from the nurses and one visit with my partner."

"How is your partner? Mentally, I mean."

"They have to keep him sedated all the time and restrained. If they don't he gets violent and out of control. He growls instead of talking and tries to bite anyone who gets too close and if anyone tries to touch him, he screams."

"Sounds understandable to me considering what he's probably gone through. Anything else?"

"He was kept chained up in almost total darkness, probably without much human contact except when they were torturing him. He can't tolerate much light or too much noise."

"Sensory deprivation. We can fix that. Anything else? What kind of torture was used?"

"You name it they probably did it, including sexual abuse." Hutch couldn't bring himself to say the word rape even though he knew it had occurred, obviously more than once. The physical exam had confirmed that.

"Rape?" Steve asked gently, reading between the lines based on the vagueness of Hutch's comment. "Multiple times?"

"Yeah."

"Drugs?"

"Probably."

"All that is pretty typical behavior for a cult. They tend to use torture, drugs, sexual abuse, pretty much anything to control their victims."

"This was more than just control, they wanted to destroy Starsky." Hutch said

"From what you've just told me, it sounds like they did a pretty good job of it."

"Can you help him?"

"I can try. Why don't I stop by the hospital tomorrow after office hours and take a look?"

"Thanks, I'd really appreciate it." Hutch said gratefully.

"Glad to help. See ya then."

Hutch hung up the phone and returned to Starsky's room. Reclaiming his seat beside his partner's side, he whispered, "Hang on for me, Starsk…just a little bit longer."


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

Hutch had just finished bathing Starsky and dressing him in a pair of his favorite sweat pants, when Steve arrived the following evening. Steve was a handsome man the same age as Hutch with similar coloring and wheat colored hair. He was stockier and two inches shorter than Hutch and, like Starsky, he preferred jeans and tee shirts to suits and ties.

"I'm really glad you could come." Hutch told his old friend. "This is my partner and best friend, David Starsky."

"Hello, David." Steve said as he leaned over the bed and gently lifted up one of Starsky's eyelids to shine a tiny penlight into his eye. "They still have him zonked to the gills, don't they?"

"Yeah." Hutch said with a heavy sigh. "The doctor claims it's for his own protection as well as for the protection of the staff."

"They think it's necessary to keep him chemically and physically restrained both? That's a bit excessive if you ask me. The drugs would be enough to keep him knocked out."

"That's what I thought but the doctor insisted on both."

"Well, the first thing we need to do is get him well enough physically to get him out of here."

"Then what?"

"Then I'll admit him to my clinic that I own in the Valley. It's private and each patient gets individual attention and care."

"Can you help him?"

"I'm sure I can. It may take some time…he's been severely traumatized over a long period of time. It could take a long time to repair the damage."

"As long as he gets better, that's all that matters."

"The two of you are really close, huh?'

"Yeah, we are. He's like a brother to me."

"You know, you've been pretty traumatized too." Steve commented taking in the blond's long hair, mustache and sloppy appearance. "Especially when you thought he was dead all this time and then you found him alive…especially under such horrendous conditions."

"He doesn't even recogniseme." Hutch said sadly, glancing at the man on the bed fondly. He reached out to hold his partner's hand, squeezing the fingers lightly. The gesture of affection did not escape Steve's notice.

"That has to be really hard."

"It is."

Steve clasped his old friend's shoulder and squeezed. "Don't worry, Hutch…I'll do all I can to help him. Now, how about I help you? Let me take you out to dinner. You need to get out of here for a while." When Hutch hesitated and didn't immediately reply, he added "You need a break. David will be fine. The nurses will take care of him and he's sure not going anywhere."

"Okay…" Hutch said, still reluctant to leave Starsky's side.

"Good. Then let's go. You still into all that healthy junk?"

Hutch laughed. "Not as much as I used to be."

"Good because I'm not in the mood for rabbit food. I feel like a good steak with all the trimmings."

"I know just the place. It's called The Pits and it's owned by a friend of mine."

"The Pits, huh? Okay, I'll take your word for it. Let's get out of here."

Twenty minutes later, the two men entered the dim atmosphere of the popular bar and grill. The smoke, the noise and the delicious aroma drifting out of the kitchen embraced Hutch like an old friend. He led the way to the booth he and Starsky usually chose and sat down. Steve smiled as he slid in across from him. "Not bad. You come here often?"

"All the time. Like I said a friend of mine owns it."

As if by magic, Huggy suddenly materialized at their table. He gave Hutch a huge smile, pleased to see the blond somewhere besides inthe hospital with Starsky. He glanced at Steve curiously. "A new face. You're not cheating on Curly are you, Blondie?

"Huggy, this is an old friend of mine from college. Steve Reynolds." Hutch said, ignoring Huggy's teasing remark. "Steve, this isthe owner of this establishment, Huggy Bear."

"Huggy Bear, huh?" Steve said with a grin. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

Used to jokes about his nickname, Huggy grinned and said, "The ladies just love to hug the bear. I'm a lean, mean, loving machine. Nice to meet you, Steve."

"Nice to meet you too. I already know what I want. I want a steak with all the trimmings and Hutch here tells me that yours are the best in town."

"My reputation does proceed me." Huggy said flippantly. "How do you want that?"

"Medium rare."

"Mashed, baked, fried or fries?"

"Mashed with gravy."

"Salad?"

"Cole Slaw if you have it."

"What would you like to drink?"

"Two cold drafts." Hutch answered for both of them. "And I'll take the same thing as Steve."

"Back in a flash." Huggy said, walking away to turn their order into the cook.

"Colorful character."

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Hutch chuckled.

"You fit in better here than you did at the Pub back in college." Steve said, naming a popular hangout for their crowd when they were in med school.

"I'm more comfortable here than I ever was at the Pub." Hutch said.

"I heard about you and Vanessa splitting up."

"Hell, we should never have gotten married in the first place. Van wasn't cut out to be a cop's wife…she wasn't cut out to be anybody's wife."

"Ouch…sounds like there's some bad blood there."

"Yeah, and all of it was mine."

"She was a real piece of work."

"You got that right. I found out she was fucking everybody on campus but me."

"Any special lady right now in your life?"

"No. Police work and relationships don't mix very well."

"Neither do girlfriends and psychiatrists." Steve chuckled. "Most of my dates hate it when I try to analyze them."

"Mine get tired of the last minute phone calls breaking a date because I have to work or getting so busy on a case that I forgot I even had a date."

"Owww…that sucks. But I can't say that I haven't done the same thing."

"A lot of them don't understand me and Starsky either…they get jealous because we spend so much time together."

"Off duty too?"

"Yeah."

"So it's really been hard for you without him around."

"That's an understatement." Hutch admitted. "I felt like I was missing half of myself."

"Did you ever think about hurting yourself?"

"All the time."

"Why didn't you?"

"I guess because staying alive was the best way of punishing myself for not saving him."

"You blame yourself for what he went through?"

"Yeah. It was my job to protect him and I failed him and I thought that got him killed."

"So how did you cope?"

"Tried to drink myself into a permanent stupor…" he smiled thinly. "It didn't work very well."

"Hutch, what are you going to do if I can't help Starsky? If he stays this way for the rest of his life?"

"Then I'll still be there for him and I'll take care of him."

"That's a pretty big sacrifice…especially if he never remembers who you are."

"It's the least I can do."

"You know, David is really lucky to have somebody like you around. A lot of my patients don't. The closeness you keep describing between you and David just might be what it takes to get him better."

"I'll do anything it takes."

"I have no doubt about that."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their food and drinks. As Huggy sat their food on the table, he looked at Hutch somberly and said,

"How's Curly doing?"

"About the same." Hutch told him "But, Steve thinks he can help him."

"I hope so. You look lopsided without Starsky sitting beside you." Huggy said with a grin. He turned his attention to Steve. "Curly means a lot to a lot of people, myself included. I hope you can help him."

"I'm going to do my best." Steve told him. Huggy nodded, apparently satisfied with the answer and left the two men to eat their meal.

Steve was pleasantly surprised to find that the food was just as delicious as Hutch had promised. He made a mental note to add the Pits to his list of favorite places to eat.

The two friends spent a pleasant evening, catching up and talking about their college days with Hutch entertaining Steve with stories about some of the cases he and Starsky had been involved in. For the first time in months, Hutch realized that he was enjoying himself. By the time they called it a night, Hutch had a pleasant buzz going and so did Steve.

After dropping Hutch back off at the hospital, Steve promised to return the next day so he could try and convince the doctor to lighten up on Starsky's sedation so that he could get a better idea of the brunet's mental status. He also wanted to observe the interaction between Starsky and Hutch when Starsky was more alert.

"Hey, babe," Hutch said as he settled down beside his partner. "I got a friend who's going to do everything he can to help you. I want you to be nice to him, okay? Don't scare him off by being your usual self." Even though Starsky didn't respond, the familiar bantering was comforting to Hutch.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

Steve was only partially successful in his approach with the doctor. He still insisted on keeping Starsky physically restrained and sedated but he did agree to change his sedation to something that would allow him to be a bit more alert while still controlling the violent, aggressive behavior. It was a compromise that Steve could live with.

When the new sedation allowed Starsky to arouse enough to open his eyes, Hutch was ecstatic. The familiar eyes still held no sign of recognition and glanced around the room wildly as if searching for danger or a way to escape. But, to Hutch it was a step in the right direction just to see those eyes open and looking around the room.

Starsky still growled at anyone who got too close and bared his teeth in warning. He also automatically pulled away when it appeared as if someone was going to touch him but he no longer screamed so loudly or as often. He seemed to tolerate Hutch's presence more than strangers and lay quietly when Hutch was near.

The powerful antibiotics were doing their job and the infections that ravaged his body were slowly being brought under control. His breathing was less labored as the pneumonia improved too. If he continued to improve, Steve hoped to be able to transfer him to his clinic within next week. His medical care could be continued at Steve's clinic as long as Starsky was improved enough to be taken off the critical list. Steve dropped by everyday after his usual office hours to spend some time with Starsky and observe his behavior.

"It may not seem like it," Steve told Hutch three days after starting to observe Starsky "But he is improving."

"Physically or mentally?"

"A little of both. Don't get discouraged…he still has a long way to go and it won't be easy. He didn't get in this condition overnight and he won't get better overnight either."

"I know. I just wish you could have met him before this all happened. He was so full of life."

"He still is. The man you remember is still in there somewhere. We just have to help him find his way back to us. You know, he's been letting you touch him without flinching or trying to pull away."

"What?" Hutch said in a surprised voice. He was so accustomed to touching the brunet that he hadn't noticed any difference between his touch and anyone else.

"You didn't even notice, did you?"

"I guess not. I'm just so used to touching him without thinking about it."

"Somewhere down in that messed up mind of his, he knows he can trust you. You won't hurt him. It's everybody else that he doesn't want touching him."

"Because he's afraid they're going to hurt him."

"You got it. The only touch he's felt in the past year has had some kind of pain connected with it. So his mind started associating touch with pain."

"Kind of like Pavlo's dogs?" Hutch said, referring to well documented experiment where dogs where taught to associate eating with the sound of a bell, so whenever they heard the bell, they started to a salivate.

"Exactly. So we have to show him that touch doesn't mean that someone is necessarily going to hurt him."

"You know, he's the one who taught me that it was okay to touch people. My family never hugged or touched each other very much. When I met Starsky, he was always slapping me on the back, touching my arm or my shoulder. He's the first guy who ever gave me a real hug without being uncomfortable doing it."

"He must have come from a very warm and affectionate family."

"He did…believe me he did. His mother hugs everybody…even me the first time she met me."

"He's lucky. Most families aren't like that. Hell, a lot of married couples have trouble showing affection outside the bedroom."

"We were so different…in every way that you can imagine but it never seemed to make a difference to him. He's the strongest, most confident man I know…he can be a real cocky bastard sometimes. But he's also the most loyal and trustworthy friend you could ever ask for."

"And you're not?"

"I haven't always been the best friend to him…not like I should have been."

"Why not? What did you do?"

"Ahhh, come on, Steve. You know me. I can be a real arrogant, self centered bastard when I want to be. I always have to be right…be the one in charge…have the last word."

"True…but you can also be a pretty good friend."

"Yeah? What kind of friend would fuck his best friend's girl just because he was trying to compete with him…trying to prove that he was the better man?"

"What happened?"

"I hurt him…I hurt him bad…and then he still turned around and forgave me after he had had time to cool down…of course that was after he figured out she was just using us both."

"So she's the one who was fucking you both?"

"Yeah. She told each of us exactly what we wanted to hear and then laughed at us behind our backs."

"But the two of you are still friends."

"Yeah, no thanks to me."

"You've always have been too hard on yourself, Hutch. Cut yourself some slack. Everybody makes mistakes and everybody acts like a real bastard sometimes. Otherwise we wouldn't be human."

"You really do have a way of getting people to open up to you, don't you?" Hutch said with a thin smile. "I've never really told anybody else about Kira before."

"Hey, that's my job. That's why I get paid the big bucks." Steve chuckled, mocking his own words.

"You've always been good with people. Better than I ever was."

"I'd say you're pretty good with people or you wouldn't be such a good cop."

"That's another thing I learned from Starsky. He taught me how to deal with people, especially the ones on the street. He taught me that I'm not any better than anyone else just because I have a better education or had more advantages when I was younger."

"Sounds like you both got something you needed out of being friends."

"We did. When we met, it was like something clicked and just seemed to fit. It didn't matter that I came from a wealthy background while he came from the streets of New York. It didn't matter that I had a college education while he got his education in the jungles of Viet Nam."

"You were meant to be friends. Call it fate, destiny or whatever you want. It just is, you can't fight it."

"I know in the Academy a lot of the guys just tolerated me because of Starsky. He stood up for me and nobody had ever done that before. He never let anybody put me down."

"And now you stand up for each other…only right now you're still beating yourself up for letting him down when he needed you the most."

"Yeah."

"From what you've told me about him, I don't think he's going to hold that against you. You're too busy holding it against yourself."

"Hey, who's the patient here? Me or Starsky?"

"As far as I'm concerned you both are." Steve told him "You've both been seriously traumatized and you both need time to heal. You need someone that you can talk to too."

"Like you?"

"You could do worse, my friend. Just be glad I'm not charging you by the hour." Steve teased him.

"You kidding? I'd never be able to afford you. I turned my back on the Hutchinson family fortune, remember?"

"And your daddy never did get over that, did he?"

"Nope. He even wrote me out of the will."

"Any regrets?"

"None whatsoever."

"At least that's one thing you're not beating yourself up over."

"Hey, give me a break, will ya? What is this? Pick on Hutch day?"

"I'm outta here. I gotta go home sometime." Steve said with a laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow. Take good care of your partner."

"Always. See ya tomorrow." Hutch smiled to himself as Steve walked out the door. He had forgotten how easy he was to talk to, almost as easy as Starsky. If he were a betting man,he would have wagered that Starsky would have made a terrific therapist or counselor.

As Hutch sat there at his friend's side, the evening shadows slowly filling the room, the blond found himself remembering all the times that Starsky had been there for him when he needed the brunet the most. Starsky was one of the few people who could calm Hutch when he was angry, or cheer him up when he was blue. More than once, he had kept Hutch from doing something truly stupid. Somehow, he vowed to find a way to help the brunet now and pull him back to the land of the living.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

By the end of the week, Starsky's condition had improved enough to allow his transfer to Steve's clinic in the valley. He was heavily sedated for the trip and transported by an ambulance. Nobody was sure how he would react to his new surroundings and Steve wanted to reduce the stress level as much as possible. He planned to eliminate the need for the physical restraints but some mild chemical restraints would still be necessary for the time being.

Hutch followed along behind the ambulance. With Steve's permission and encouragement, he would be staying with Starsky at the clinic. Steve insisted that Hutch would play an important and vital part in Starsky's recovery. It was a beautiful day with the sun high in the sky and very little smog. Hutch held high hopes for this next phase of Starsky's treatment.

Steve's clinic was housed in a nondescript one-story brick building. A simple sign that read "Willow Place" hung out front but there was nothing special to distinguish the building from the other homes in the neighborhood. Admission to the clinic was limited, with only six beds available for patients. Steve had set it up that way to make sure that the patients he served received the best care and individual attention available. He employed three full time nurses, one for each shift and his own living quarters were actually located in a tiny bungalow just behind the clinic so that he was readily accessible to his patients twenty-four hours a day.

The ambulance pulled up to the discreet back entrance and Starsky was taken into the building. Hutch parked on the street and entered the building through the front entrance. A pretty blond whose nametag read Mindy, smiled warmly.

"You must be Ken." She said "I'll show you to your room." She led him down a long hallway on the left and to the last room on the right. It looked more like a small apartment than a hospital room. Two twin beds, covered with brightly colored spreads, stood on one side of the room with a comfortable looking sofa and a recliner on the other. The furniture was tastefully arranged in front of a floor model TV. In the middle of the room was a table for two and against the opposite wall stood a stove and refrigerator. "Here you are." Mindy said "We provide your meals but you're also free to prepare your own meals if you prefer. Make yourself at home. David should be here soon."

True to her word, shortly after she left the door opened and the attendants wheeled in the gurney with an unconscious Starsky lying on it into the room. They carefully moved him from the gurney to one of the twin beds and then left. Moving around quietly so he wouldn't disturb his partner, Hutch familiarized himself with the room. He checked out the refrigerator and was pleasantly surprised to find it fully stocked with fresh fruit, milk, juice and a six pack of root beer which Hutch had specifically requested for Starsky since that was his favorite soft drink. The freezer was stocked with more of Starsky's favorites, again at Hutch's request, ice cream, frozen pizza, burritos, and some frozen yogurt for Hutch. In the cupboard were bags of chips, two boxes of Starsky's favorite cereal, some pretzels, and two boxes of Hostess cupcakes. Again, most of the food chosen were Starsky's personal favorites at Hutch's request but someone had thoughtfully added some of Hutch's favorites too; raisins, popcorn, and trail mix.

He turned when he heard Starsky stirring around on the bed, the effects of the sedative beginning to wear off. He stood quietly by the counter waiting to see what Starsky's reaction would be when he realized his hands and ankles were no longer restrained. Hutch had hated the thick leather straps from the beginning. They reminded him too much of the leather collar and chain that had held Starsky captive in the darkness of the pit. He watched as Starsky's eyes slowly opened and he looked around, a slight frown crossing his face as he noticed his new and unfamiliar surroundings. As he struggled to sit up, he realized for the first time that his hands and ankles were free.

He held up his hands, staring at his wrists in amazement, then glanced down at his feet. Hutch choked back a chuckle when the brunet began swinging his feet back and forth like a little kid, a gleeful smile on his face for the first time since he'd been rescued. Then he raised his head and noticed Hutch He cocked his head to one side and looked at Hutch as if trying to figure out who he was. For the first time since his admission to the hospital, his eyes seemed clear and alert, no longer hostile and wild.

"Hey, buddy…" Hutch said softly so as not to startle him and break the spell of the moment.

Starsky immediately drew his knees up on the bed and against his chest. Wrapping his arms around his shins, he ducked his head and hid his face. Hutch carefully approached his friend until he could reach out and touch his shoulder lightly. In a gentle, soothing voice, he said, "Hey, it's okay. It's me. Hutch. Remember me?" One sapphire eye peeped up at Hutch shyly and then Starsky shook his head violently, implying that he still didn't know who Hutch was.

"That's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." Hutch said quietly, still not quite sure what to make of this sudden change from Starsky's previous behavior. Instead of violent and aggressive, he now seemed timid and afraid, still refusing to talk even though he obviously understood what Hutch was saying to him. Hutch wondered if it was the change in his medication or his surroundings that had brought about such a dramatic change in the brunet. Steve would arrivesoon, hopefully he could explain it. "Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?" Hutch asked.

Starsky kept his head down and shook his head. He lay down on the bed, facing away from Hutch, and curled up into a fetal position. Deciding not to push the brunet too much, Hutch walked back over to the table and sat down, watching the brunet thoughtfully. After several minutes, Starsky rolled over and opened his eyes. His gaze swept around the room until he spotted Hutch sitting at the table. Hutch remained quiet and still, waiting patiently to see what Starsky would do.

Apparently deciding that Hutch was no threat as long as he stayed where he was and remained silent, Starsky sat up on the edge of the bed and began swinging his feet back and forth again like a child while staring at the floor. After several minutes, he raised his head and then carefully shoved himself to a standing position. He was still terribly underweight but the doctor had removed the feeding tube when he was discharged, stating bluntly that he had to learn to eat solid foods again to really start gaining back the lost weight. Hutch watched as Starsky took one tentative step forward and then another. He wobbled, a little unsteady, and Hutch had to restrain himself to keep from bouncing to his feet and grabbing him before he fell. Starsky looked up, a blinding smile on his face, as he seemed to realize that he was truly free and no longer restrained.

With a sound that sounded almost like a giggle, Starsky suddenly fell backwards onto the bed, once more reminding Hutch of a little boy. Starsky had always had a innocent, almost childlike side that very few people ever got close enough to witness. It was a side of his personality that Starsky kept well hidden from most people, one he seldom let surface except when he was around small children. His behavior at the moment reminded Hutch of that side of his friend.

A knock on the door startled them both. Starsky immediately pulled his knees back up against his chest and hid his face. Steve entered the room and said brightly, "I see you got settled in okay. How's it going?"

"You tell me." Hutch said softly, nodding his head at Starsky who was now rocking back on forth on the bed, his behavior still similar to that of a small child.

"How long has he been like this?" Steve asked calmly.

"Since he woke up from the sedation they gave him at the hospital."

"No aggressive, no violent behavior?"

"No, he's been acting more like a little kid that's afraid of strangers."

"Hmmmm…interesting." Steve said. He cautiously approached the rocking figure on the bed. "David? Can you hear me? My name is Steve and I'm a friend of Hutch. Can you look at me and say hello?" Starsky shook his head without looking up. "David, are you scared right now because you don't know where you are?" Slowly, Starsky nodded his head for yes. "This is kind of like a special hospital. You've been sick and I want to help you get better. Do you understand?" Hutch noticed that Steve was talking to Starsky as if he were talking to a small child. Instead of nodding yes or no to Steve's question, Starsky lay back down on the bed and once again curled up in a fetal position.

Steve moved away from the bed and walked over to the table where Hutch had been watching the scene unfolding in front of him. "I'm not exactly sure what to make of this." He said "But it's better than the other way he'd been acting. It could just be the change in scenery and removing the restraints…but somehow, I don't think so. I think there's something else going on here."

"Like what?"

"Let's just see how he acts over the next few days and then I'll let you know what I think."

"Isn't this a little drastic…I mean considering the way he was in the hospital and now he's suddenly acting totally different…it's like he just suddenly woke up and decided to act this way."

"Not necessarily. Don't worry, this may be a good sign."

"He obviously hears me and understands what we're saying to him, so why won't he talk to me?"

"He will when he's ready." Steve reassured him. "Look, I'm going to leave you two alone for now. Keep a close eye on him and just pick up the phone and hit 3 if there's any change in his behavior. That's the direct line to my house." He patted Hutch's shoulder and smiled encouragingly. "This proves that David is still in there somewhere. We just have to find him."

Hutch nodded, not completely satisfied with Steve's answer but was willing to take what he had said in good faith. It was the only thing he had left to cling to. At least he could communicate with this Starsky and get some kind of response even if it wasn't the one that he wanted the most. He longed to hear that familiar voice with Starsky's unique blending of east and west coast accents. Hell, he was even willing to listen to his weird trivia facts all night long as long as Hutch could just hear Starsky say his name again.

To occupy his hands, Hutch cut up a bowl of fruit and sat it on the table, hoping to entice Starsky to eat something. The hospital had suggested starting him out on soft foods at first and then, if he could keep those down, moving on to more solid food. They had warned him that he might not be able to eat much at first because his stomach had shrunk from his near starvation diet. Hutch still shuddered when he remembered the dead cat and the rats, wondering just what that diet had consisted of, especially in the time period just before his rescue.

He glanced over at the bed, where Starsky was sitting back up now that Steve was gone. His knees were still drawn up against his chest and he had his arms folded on top of his knees with his chin resting on top of his arms. He seemed quiet and content, a definite improvement over his radical behavior in the hospital. It wasn't until the nurse came in later that evening to give Starsky his evening medication that Hutch noticed any change in his behavior.

As soon as the nurse reached for his arm to give Starsky his shot to sedate him for the evening, he pushed her away and scrambled off the bed, crouching in the corner, his eyes wide with fear and brimming with tears.

"He doesn't know you." Hutch told her softly "Leave it and I'll try to give it to him. I know how. I've given him shots before."

"All right…" The nurse said with a hint of reluctance in her voice. "But call me if he won't take it and I'll page the doctor."

"I will. I promise." Hutch said

After the nurse had gone, Hutch carefully approached his traumatized friend. Starsky's eyes followed him fearfully, a single tear falling down his cheek. "Aww, buddy…" Hutch said in a broken voice, feeling Starsky's fear and confusion as if it were his own. "It's gonna be okay. Why don't you lay down and try to get some sleep. Okay? You've had a long day."

For the first time, Starsky reached out his hand towards Hutch. With a pleased smile, Hutch grabbed it and helped the brunet to his feet. He let Hutch lead him over to the bed where the blond pulled back the covers and coaxed Starsky into lying down. The brunet let him take off his tennis shoes without protest but he eyed Hutch warily when Hutch reached for the needle lying on the nightstand between the two beds. "It's okay, babe…I'm not going to hurt you. This will just help you sleep better." Starsky looked at Hutch solemnly as if considering his words and then slowly held out his arm, allowing Hutch to give him the shot. Another step in the right direction. The trust was still there, Hutch just had to find ways of reaching for it. Within minutes, the sapphire eyes closed as Starsky drifted off to sleep. Exhausted from the day himself, Hutch decided to turn in too even though it was only eight o'clock at night.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

The next morning Starsky's behavior seemed to be the same as the day before. He still wasn't talking, just nodding his head in response to simple yes or no questions. It was an awkward way to communicate but at least it was a form of communication. Hutch tempted him to eat with some bananas for breakfast and was please when he finally ate one. He licked his lips and sucked his fingers, again reminding Hutch of a child.

The only time Hutch encountered a problem was when he tried to get him to take a shower. Starsky firmly shook his head and sat down in the middle of the floor, his well known stubbornness showing through quite clearly.

"Okay." Hutch said with a shrug of his shoulders "Go ahead and stink, I don't care…" He threw a sidelong glance at Starsky and added playfully "But I bet the nurses will." Starsky shook his head again, refusing to rise to the bait and answer Hutch back with a wisecrack of his own.

When Steve stopped by before heading for his downtown practice to see how Starsky was doing, the brunet hid in the bathroom with the door closed. "Has he been doing that a lot?" Steve questioned Hutch.

"No. He's seems okay when we're alone. It's just when someone else comes in the room."

"That means he trusts you. Just like he can tolerate your touch but not anyone else. He's probably still pretty confused…he trusts you but doesn't really know why."

"But why the childish behavior? Why not act more like himself?"

"Maybe it's safer right now for him to act like a child. Children don't usually get beaten by adults…at least not by the ones who love them. Maybe it's his way of testing you to make sure you're not going to hurt him after all."

"One step at a time. Right?"

"That's pretty much the way it works most of the time."

After Steve left, Hutch tapped on the bathroom door and said, "He's gone now. You can come out."

Starsky opened the door and peered through the crack at Hutch, smiling sheepishly as if he had been bad and expected to be punished. Hutch smiled back and pointed at the glass of juice and the cream filled cupcakes he had sat on the table. Starsky grinned and opened the door. Ignoring Hutch, he went to the table and sat down to enjoy his treat. He wrinkled his nose at the juice but drank it anyway.

"You know, Starsk…it'd be a lot easier if you'd just talk to me. I'm getting tired of listening to myself all the time." Starsky looked at Hutch with a wide eyed expression on his face and shook his head. Hutch crouched down so that he was looking up at the seated brunet instead of down at him. He rested his hand lightly on a denim covered knee. "I'd never hurt you…you know that. I tried to find you when you were missing…I really did. I'm sorry I didn't find you in time to stop them from hurting you." Starsky's eyes filled with tears at Hutch's heartfelt words, then he shut his eyes and grabbed his head as if he were in pain. "Starsk! What is it? What's wrong? Does your head hurt?" Hutch asked anxiously as he reached out for the obviously distraught brunet.

Unexpectedly, the brunet held up one hand to keep Hutch away and opened his eyes. Immediately, Hutch noticed a subtle different in his face. Starsky's eyes were alert and it was apparent that he knew who Hutch was. A trace of that trademark crooked smile appeared on the suddenly animated face. In a clear, strong voice, Starsky said, "I had to stop you from telling him anymore. He's doesn't remember what they did to him. He wasn't there yet."

"What?" Hutch said, staring at Starsky in amazement. He had never heard Starsky talk about himself in the third person before and it was unnerving. Almost as unnerving as finally hearing the sound of his voice again but even that had a subtle difference from the brunet's usual speech patterns. The tone seemed deeper and the manner of speaking more clipped. "Starsk, what's going on here? Are you okay?"

"Of course I am." The brunet cocked his head to one side and then smiled. "I'm sorry…we haven't been properly introduced. You think I'm David Starsky but I'm not David."

"Then who are you?" Hutch asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper, staring into the face he knew so well but feeling like he was talking to a complete stranger.

"My name is Richard." He said, ironically using Hutch's own middle name to identify himself.

"Where's Starsky?" Hutch whispered, feeling like he had just stepped across the threshold into the twilight zone.

"David's here. He just doesn't come out anymore."

"I don't understand."

"You will…in time. Why don't you call your friend, the doctor? I'm sure he can explain it to you much better than I can."

"I think I'll do that right now." Hutch agreed, slowly rising to his feet and moving towards the phone, without taking his eyes off the man sitting in the chair. Picking up the phone, he quickly dialed Steve's office. When the receptionist answered, he said, "This is Ken Hutchinson. I need to speak to Doctor Reynolds immediately. It's an emergency."

"Right away, sir."

"Almost immediately Steve's voice came over the line. "Hutch? What's wrong? Has something happened with David?"

"You could say that. I think you better get back here right away because I think I'm going to need a sedative."

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"He's talking…only he says his name is Richard, not Starsky. He says that Starsky is here…he just doesn't come out anymore."

"Hang on. I'll be right there." Steve said, his voice rising with excitement. "Don't worry, it's going to be okay."

"That's easy for you to say…you're not the one that's going nuts here." Hutch said. He hung up the phone and continued staring at his friend while he waited for Steve to arrive.

Steve must have broken more than a few traffic laws on his way back to the clinic, arriving in less than fifteen minutes. He burst into the room and glanced at Hutch's pale face and bewildered expression, then at the relatively calm and relaxed Starsky sitting in the chair. "Hutch, I think you better sit down before you fall down." Steve told the badly shaken blond. Numbly, Hutch did just that. On the floor since it was the closest spot to where he had been standing.

"I think our friend is a little upset." Starsky said with a small smile of amusement at Hutch's unconventional choice of a seat. He turned his attention back to Steve. "You're Doctor Reynolds and you want to help David. My name is Richard and I want to offer my assistance in helping David too."

"It's nice to meet you, Richard." Steve said carefully. "How long have you been here?"

"I came because Hutch started to tell D.J. about what happened to him, to apologize for not finding him sooner. I couldn't let him do that."

"Why not?"

"Because D.J. is just a child…he's wasn't there…he wasn't part of what happened to David in the pit." Starsky replied as if that explanation was all that was necessary.

"When did D.J. arrive?"

"When we came here. He woke up after they put him in the bed."

"Why did D.J. come instead of you?"

"Because there was no need for me to come yet and because Michael didn't like it here."

"Whose Michael?" Steve asked, although he already had a pretty good idea who Richard would say he was.

"He's the one they had so much trouble with in the hospital. Michael is so angry all the time, all he wants to do is hurt somebody."

Hutch sat there listening to the strange conversation between his partner and Steve in stunned disbelief. Finally, he blurted out "What the hell is going on here?"

"Richard, I'll be right back." Steve said "I need to talk to Hutch privately for a moment."

"Take your time. I'm sure he has several questions for you." The brunet said amicably.

Steve motioned with his head towards the door and Hutch nodded back, slowly pulling himself to his feet. He followed Steve out into the hallway. Once the door was securely closed behind them, he turned to his old college buddy and demanded "What the hell is that all about?"

"Unless I miss the mark entirely, it's a classic case of multiple personality disorder."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Come on, Hutch…you saw it yourself. You've met three very different and distinct personalities and all of them are in one body."

"But I don't understand…how?"

"Multiple Personalities generally develop in children as the result of severe physical or sexual abuse usually caused by a parent or caregiver. The mind essentially creates different personalities to help cope with what's going on, to protect the original or core personality from a reality they can no longer endure, which in this case would be David."

"But you just said that it generally develops in children."

"Generally as a rule it does. But, in cases like David's where the trauma had HAS been so horrendous and has been ongoing for such a long period of time, on a daily basis, and there has been such a wide variety of different forms of abuse, it can develop in adults too. It's still a defense mechanism created by the brain to protect the individual from an intolerable reality."

"Okay…so what do we do now?"

"I believe that Richard is the memory trace. That's the one personality, usually a more dominant one, that carries the entirety of the individual memories. Not just for the core personality but for all the other personalities too. This personality knows what each personality is doing whenever they are in control of the body, while the core personality doesn't know about any of the other personalities."

"Wait a minute…hold on…what do you mean when each personality is in control of the body?" Hutch asked.

"When each personality comes out, they have total control of the body. It's as if they are a completely different individual. Sometimes one personality may dislike something that another personality really loves." Steve explained the process of disassociation patiently. He knew that it was a difficult concept for most people to understand and that, even in medical science, cases were extremely rare and seldom seen. "Look, we all have several different sides to our personality…the student, the employee, the son, the lover…in each individual role, we act differently. In cases like David, those different sides to our normal personality splitapart and the individual character traits take on a separate personality that expresses that trait."

"Okay…so I repeat, what do we do now?"

"We take Richard up on his offer to help. If he is the memory trace, he can tell us all about the different personalities and when they developed. He can also tell us exactly how many there are and which ones are more dominant. To fuse the personalities back into one single personality is a complicated process and may take a while. It depends partly on how cooperative the personalities are to the idea of fusion."

"Okay, you just lost me again." Hutch said in a confused voice.

"Each personality sees themselves as a separate individual, a person. Rejoining or fusing back with the core personality essentially means they will no longer exist separately. They basically must die to become one whole person again."

"I can see why some of them might not like that idea." Hutch said dryly.

"Some of the personalities will naturally be weaker than the others, they are the ones that it will be easier to fuse with another more dominant personality and some of them may fuse spontaneously. It's the more dominant personalities we may have trouble with. They're the ones who are the most likely to resist fusion."

"Like Richard and Michael." Hutch said, automatically using the names that Richard had assigned to himself and the more violent personality.

"Exactly. They are both very strong and dominant personalities who serve two very different purposes. Ultimately however, all of the personalities are interlinked in one way or another and depend on each other in order to continue existing. As the various personalities fuse together, others become weaker and eventually accept fusion."

"What about the more dominant ones?"

"They may require hypnosis to force them to rejoin with the core personality if they can't be convinced to do it voluntarily."

"Man, I don't believe any of this."

"Believe it. It's very real and David needs our help now more than ever in order to get well again. Are you up to it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not if you want the real David back you don't." Steve smiled and said "We'd better get back in there. We have a lot of hard work ahead of us."


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

Hutch discovered over the next few days that Richard's personality closely resembled his own. He was somewhat aloof and reserved, with a tendency to be arrogant and overbearing at times. He saw himself as cultured and well educated with a talent for music and art. Sometimes Hutch almost felt like he was looking in a mirror. Even Richard's name had been borrowed from Hutch. Hutch wondered if it was Starsky's way of feeling that he still had Hutch there in some form to protect him. It seemed almost fitting that one of the more dominant personalities should bear his name.

One afternoon, Hutch decided to ask Richard about the other personalities.

After a light snack of fruit and cheese, Hutch looked at the familiar face that somehow seemed out of place with this particular personality and said,

"Tell me about the others. What are they like?"

"You've already met D.J. and Michael. What more do you want to know about them?"

"What can you tell me about them?"

"Well, you already know that Michael is very angry and wants to hurt anyone who tries to get close to him. He hated the things those people did to him. He wanted to hurt them the way that they had hurt David. And he did, he killed one of them, tore out his throat with his teeth."

Hutch caught his breath, remembering the victim whose death had led the cult to threaten Starsky's murder in retaliation.

"Michael has been around almost from the beginning but he didn't emerge until after David was violently gang raped by six men. He holds on tightly to all of David's rage at the things that were done to him."

"What about D.J."

"I already told you. D.J. is just a child. He didn't even fully exist until we were brought here. The only reason he even emerged is because Michael didn't want to be here and I wasn't needed yet…and none of the others wanted to come out."

"So if Michael holds onto Starsky's rage, then what D.J. hold on to?"

"His innocence. The innocence of a child. David's inner child. You've met him before just not as a separate individual."

"A few minutes ago, you mentioned the others. Who are they?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"So I'll know who they are when I meet them." Hutch said,hoping that sounded like a plausible explanation for his request for information about the other personalities. "And I'll know what to expect."

"The only one you'll have to careful of is Polaris. He will definitely like you." Richard chuckled lightly.

Hutch flinched at the thought of one of the personalities calling himself by the hated nickname assigned to Starsky by Simon Marcus and then by the cult that had held him captive for so long. "Why's that?" Hutch asked.

"Because he likes blonds the best, especially good looking blonds like you. And it doesn't matter if they're male or female."

Hutch flushed at the implication behind those words. "So Polaris has something to do with sex?" Hutch ventured an educated guess.

"Polaris is all about sex. He loves it…he craves it. He's bi-sexual and doesn't care who knows it. He came to protect David from the repeated rapes and almost constant sexual abuse. He doesn't feel the shame and humiliation that David felt when they touched him like that against his will. He emerged around the same time Michael did but before the gang rape."

Hutch paused and closed his eyes for a moment. The sexual abuse and vicious rapes were still the worst part of Starsky's captivity for him to have to hear about and the most difficult for him to deal with. The emergence of a personality like Polaris, even as far as taking on the despised name, all made sense to him.

"Are there any others I should know about?" Hutch asked

"Just Gordo, Nicholas and of course, David himself."

"Tell me about them."

"I doubt if you'll ever have any reason to meet any of them."

"What about David himself? Won't I meet him eventually?"

"I doubt it. He never comes out anymore. He's too afraid and ashamed. He's almost catatonic. There's not much of him left. He's already dead emotionally."

Hearing Richard talk about Starsky's true self, the core personality as Steve called him, in such a dismissive tone was disturbing to Hutch. Did that mean that the essential essence of Starsky, whatever it was that made him unique, was gone forever? He'd have to remember to ask Steve about that.

"What about Gordo and Nicholas?" Hutch found it amusing that one of the personalities was named Nicholas. That was Starsky's younger brother's name and they didn't exactly see eye to eye. His brother, Nicky, was selfish and self centered and he didn't care about anyone but himself. And Gordo was a nickname that Hutch himself had given to Starsky shortly after they met.

"Those two never come out. They are just there. Gordo is the keeper of David's spirit, his individuality. His inner strength. David lost all that when he lost himself."

"What about Nicholas?"

"Nicholas is cocky, confident and sure of himself. He knows what he wants and he goes after it." Hutch had to smile, that sounded like the Starsky he knew. He began to see what Steve had meant when he said that all the personalities were linked together and had to be rejoined to make a whole person, instead of just individual pieces of a shattered psyche.

"Is that all of you?"

"At the moment. It's a little crowded in here as it is. There's isn't any room for anyone else." Richard smiled at his own joke.

"What makes you change from one to the other?"

"Different things…plus some of us have more control on how long we can keep the body."

"I don't understand. Can you explain that to me?"

"All right…for example, if something happened to make David mad or make him feel threatened, then Michael would come out because that's his job…to get mad and attack anyone who is threatening David. I came out when you started to talk to D.J about what happened to David and I couldn't let you do that because he's an innocent, he doesn't remember any of the bad things that happened. If someone approached David sexually, male or female, then Polaris would probably come out. Like I said, it all depends on the what's happening to David at the time."

"But some of you can chose to keep control of the body even if something is happening that could cause one of the others to come out?"

"Yes…but only if we want to. Michael is more likely to fight to stay out. He likes to stir things up."

"So you and Michael are the most dominant personalities?"

"Basically…although I do have some control over Michael so I suppose that makes me the most dominant one." Richard yawned, obviously growing bored with the conversation. "I'm bored. Can we take a walk?"

"Sure, I don't see why not. I could use some exercise myself."

"You certainly could." Richard said bluntly "You've put on a few pounds and I don't care for the hair or the mustache. You looked better before…younger."

"Thanks." Hutch said with a trace of sarcasm in his voice. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Do that because you've really let yourself go."

Hutch bit back an angry retort by reminding himself that arguing with Richard would most likely be like arguing with himself. And there was no fun in that. Sometimes he had argued with Starsky just to get a rise out of the brunet but thenStarsky had done the same thing to him. Sometimes people who overheard them had thought they were really fighting when actually, they were just playing around.

He missed the friendly, good-natured bickering that had been a big part of their relationship. He longed to have that back again. He wanted his partner back. He wanted the Starsky that he knew, not this stranger with his partner's face and voice.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

Steve leant back in his chair and considered the information that Hutch had just shared with him. Steepling his fingers in front of his face, he said, "So it sounds like there are five primary personalities, including David, and two submerged personalities. Richard and Michael appear to be the two most dominant, although I wouldn't rule out this Polaris personality just yet. I suspect that he may be just as dominant as the other two because of the extent of the sexual abuse that David was subjected to."

"But you can help him, can't you?"

"Yes, but it won't be easy. I anticipate the most resistance from Richard and possibly Michael."

"Why Richard?"

"Because he's the memory trace, that's what makes him so powerful. Right now he has a certain amount of control over the other personalities. If he chooses TO, he can stop them from coming out…he may even be able to exert a certain amount of control over what they do when they are in possession of the body. He sees himself as an individual in his own right and he's not going to want to give that up."

"So what's the next step?"

"I'll try to get the three weaker personalities to merge with David. That will help to make him stronger and the stronger the original core personality becomes, the weaker it will make the others."

"How are you going to do that?"

"With hypnosis…that is if I can get Richard to agree."

"Why Richard?"

"Because he's essentially the gateway that the other personalities use to come from."

"I don't understand." Hutch said with a puzzled frown.

"I believe that Richard and Michael came into existence at basically the same time, although Richard probably came first. In fact, he was probably the first personality to be formed with Gordo, D.J. and Nicolas splintering off into separate submerged personalities." Steve explained patiently.

"Why submerged?"

"Because there was no need for them to exit except to hold on to the parts of David that they represented…his spirit, his independence, his confidence…his inner child…"

"But if D.J. was a submerged personality, then why did he come out when Starsky was brought here?" Hutch asked, trying to make sense of everything Steve was telling him.

"Because at that time, Michael was in charge of the body and he didn't like it here, so he went away and Richard saw no reason to come out, so he basically allowed D.J. to emerge as a separate personality at that time."

"Why D.J.? Why not one of the others? Gordo or Nicolas?"

"I think Richard thought that you would accept D.J. better since you were familiar with that part of David's personality."

"Yeah…I've seen the kid in Starsky a few times." Hutch remembered with a fond smile.

"If you hadn't tried to apologize for not finding David in time, then D.J. may have remained out indefinitely."

"That's what Richard said. He told me that he had to come out to keep me from telling Starsky too much because he didn't know what had happened. He wasn't there." It was still disorienting to refer to the other personalities by the names they had chosen. To Hutch, they were all his partner, even Michael, …they were all just different sides of Starsky.

"Yes, he had to come out to protect the inner child…the innocence that helped to form David's whole personality."

"This still sounds crazy to me." Hutch admitted.

"The brain is a remarkable and fascinating organ. Even with all our knowledge and skills, there is still so much we just don't know about it. And multiple personality disorder is one of the most complex and rarest of the defense mechanisms. Nobody knows for sure why one person can go through severe abuse and trauma without splintering, while another person will form multiple personalities." Steve tried to explain the complex disorder as simply as he could.

"Starsky's been through a hell of a lot," Hutch said somberly. "More than most men suffer in an entire lifetime. His father was a cop back in New York and was shot down in front of him when he was only twelve, he died in Starsky's arms. Then a year later, his mother sent him here to live with an aunt and an uncle that he barely knew. He found himself thousands of miles away from his mother and brother in a strange city and a totally different culture than anything he was used to. Then he got drafted when he was 18 and sent to Viet Nam where he was a POW for almost six months. Then he comes back to a country that spit on their vets and called them baby killers."

"Then he becomes a cop. He chooses a career that brings with it a whole new set of traumas." Steve commented.

"Yeah, he's been poisoned, shot, and kidnapped…not to mention losing three women that he loved to the job." Hutch said, his eyes turning dark with sadness as his memories overwhelmed him.

"How?'

"Helen was a cop just like Starsky. They broke up because he didn't want her working the streets the way he did. She was killed after they broke up because she was working undercover on a case." Hutch explained, "Terri was the love of his life… She was shot in the head by a piece of scum who wanted to hurt Starsky. She walked around with a bullet in her brain for over a week before it killed her. Starsky asked her to marry him before she died but she refused. She said it wouldn't be fair to either one of them. And Rosie was a gangster's daughter who chose her father over Starsky."

"He has been through a lot." Steve said "To go through what you've just described proves that he's a very strong willed individual. But every man, no matter how strong he may be emotionally and mentally, has his breaking point and David finally reached his. But, that strong will of his should work to our advantage."

"How?"

"Because even though the core personality, the original David, is very depleted right now, if we can rejoin the weaker personalities with him, it will be make him stronger and the stronger he becomes, the more his will power will start to exert itself over the remaining personalities, actually pulling strength from them until we can get them all integrated back into one individual."

"Just thinking about it gives me a headache." Hutch grumbled.

Steve chuckled softly at Hutch's comment. "I know this is all totally overwhelming for you. But it can be fixed. I promise. I warned you that you were going to be a very important part of David's recovery."

"Yeah but I only expected to be dealing with Starsky, not all these other strangers that look like my partner and talk like my partner but aren't really my partner, only shattered pieces of his mind."

"At least you and Richard get along. He's a lot like you."

"Yeah, and that's another thing…I feel like I'm looking in a mirror when I talk to him. What's up with that anyway?"

"You should be flattered that David patterned Richard after you. It shows how much you mean to him and how much influence you've had in his life."

"Well, I wish that Starsky had picked a different way of showing how he felt about me. Am I really that superficial sometimes?"

"No, of course not. Your personality is intact so you're more complex, more well rounded. Richard and the others are only individual facets of David's whole personality, that's what makes them so one dimensional."

"Jesus, I could use a drink."

Steve rose to his feet and walked over to a nearby cabinet. Opening the bottom door, he took out two glasses and a bottle of Scotch. He poured two drinks and turned to hand one to Hutch. "Have you been having trouble staying away from the booze?"

"Actually, no. I guess I've had too many other things on my mind." Hutch answered. He took a long, hard look at the glass in his hand and sat it down on the desk, deciding he didn't really need it after all, no matter how much he wanted it. "And now is not a good time to fall off the wagon."

"You're right. I'm glad you realize that." Steve said, swallowing his own drink in one long swallow. He sat back down at his desk and said, "You drank to numb the pain because you thought you were responsible for killing your partner. Now that you know he isn't dead, you don't need the alcohol as a crutch anymore."

"I may not need it but I still want it." Hutch admitted

"But you were strong enough to resist right now and put the glass down." Steve pointed out. "That just goes to show that you don't need it as much as you think you do. Alcoholism is an addition, just like drug abuse. As a matter of fact, alcohol is considered a drug and for an alcoholic, it's their drug of choice. It's legal so they think that makes it less dangerous."

"So you're saying I'm not an alcoholic?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I'd call you more of a situational alcoholic. You drink to deal with stress or strong emotions…like grief. That doesn't mean that it's any less dangerous for you than it is for any other alcoholic but you can control the urge when you need to."

"Yeah…I'm really good at handling additions." Hutch said sarcastically. He looked at Steve somberly. "I was kidnapped once by this drug kingpin that was looking for his girlfriend. I had her hid out and he wanted to find her. When beating the shit out of me didn't get the results he wanted, he had his goons shoot me up with heroin and get me hooked. Then they stopped it to make me tell them what they wanted to know. I did." he looked longingly at the alcohol that was still sitting on the desk in front of him. "They were going to dump me in the ocean but I got away. Starsky found me and hid me while I kicked it cold turkey. I would never have made it without that stubborn bastard's help. I'd probably still be using."

"That situation is different. You were physically addicted against your will. It wasn't your choice to use. Have you ever been tempted to use again since you got clean?"

"Sometimes the urge is there but it's not enough to make me use again. Nothing would be enough to make me go through that again." Hutch declared

"And that's the difference right there. You have no desire to use heroin again because it was not your choice to use it in the first place. Alcohol on the other hand is accepted, it's a rite of passage to take your first drink. But you still choose when to drink and when not to drink and how much."

"Half the cops on the force are alcoholics and nobody cares. The only time it becomes an issue is if you do something that could embarrass the department." Hutch snorted.

"Do you think that you need help? With the alcohol?"

"I don't know." Hutch admitted, "I mean…I know I drink too much sometimes…especially in the past few months…but the urge isn't the same now that I know that Starsky is alive and not dead."

"Exactly. You don't have a reason anymore to drink that way. So you don't."

"But that doesn't mean that it's not a problem. Right?" Hutch asked his old friend with a rueful smile. He already knew the answer to that one.

"Only you can decide that for yourself."

"When are you going to start working on Starsky instead of me?" Hutch asked, with a rueful smile at his old friend.

"I told you in the beginning you both needed my help…the two of you are a package deal. I can't help fix one with helping to fix the other." Steve smiled. "Tomorrow I'll start working on Starsky."

.


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

Richard looked at Steve and Hutch with an amused smile on his face. Steve had just explained his plan to merge the three less dominant personalities with David. In a tolerant tone, he asked,

"Why do you want to do that?"

"Because the three less dominant personalities, Gordo, D.J. and Nicolas, would help David feel better than he does right now. They'd made him stronger."

"David doesn't feel anything right now and he likes it that way. Why change anything when it won't make a difference?"

"Why won't it make a difference?" Steve asked

"Even if the others were to join with David, the man you knew as David Starsky is gone forever. We all serve a purpose and our purpose is to protect David. He's not ready to become one again…he may never be ready. You need to accept that." Richard said in a condescending tone.

"What's the harm in trying?" Steve challenged him. "Are you afraid of letting me try?"

"I'm not afraid of letting you try. I'm just trying to save you the trouble. You won't succeed."

"Who'll stop me? You? Michael? Polaris? I would think that the three of you would be glad to be rid of the others. They aren't helping you protect David, they're just in the way."

"Even if I agreed with your plan, how do you expect to accomplish it? Ask them to be good little boys and do what you say?" Richard chuckled at his own dark humor but he still resisted the idea of fusing the three lesser personalities.

"It's not simple and I think you know that." Steve said, appealing to Richard's intelligence. "I'd like to hypnotize you."

"NO!" Richard refused firmly.

"Why? Because you might lose control?" Steve challenged him again. "Because one of the others might come out and tell me something you don't want us to know?"

"SHUT UP!" Richard yelled, bouncing to his feet, his eyes flashing in anger. Suddenly, with a familiar growl that Hutch had heard before, he lunged across the desk towards Steve. By provoking Richard's anger, Steve had forced Michael to appear.

Before Michael could reach Steve, Hutch threw himself in front of the enraged brunet and managed to wrestle him to the ground. Even though Hutch was taller and outweighed Starsky considerably at the moment, both men were equally matched in strength and skill. In his outraged state, Starsky's strength and agility were dramatically increased. A well placed knee to the groin made Hutch gasp in pain but he managed to hold on to his wildly thrashing partner.

With a roar that seemed to rip from deep inside his chest, Starsky flipped Hutch onto his back and straddled him, punching the blonde in the face and splitting open his bottom lip. In a second, his hands had closed around Hutch's throat and he began to squeeze tightly. Frantic for air, Hutch clawed at Starsky's hands trying to pry loose the long slender fingers that felt like bands of steel.

Suddenly, Starsky's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed on top of Hutch, his limp, unconscious body pinning the blond to the floor. Hutch gasped, fighting to regain his breath, as Steve pulled Starsky's body to one side and freed him from the smaller man's weight.

"What happened?" Hutch choked out when he could breathe again.

"I gave him a sedative." Steve told him, as he reached out a hand to help him to his feet. "Enough to knock him out for at least four hours." His breathing sounded almost as ragged as Hutch's. The attack had taken them both by surprise and reminded them that at least one of Starsky's personalities was violent and aggressive. Steve glanced down at the unconscious brunet and quipped, "That didn't go very well."

"No kidding." Hutch said, rubbing his tender throat gently. "It's lucky that we were both here or one of us would have gotten hurt."

"Or killed."

"What now?"

"We get him back to your room and hope he's in a better mood when he wakes up."

Between the two of them, they managed to get Starsky back to the room the two friends shared and settled comfortably in his bed. Luckily, Steve had been treating Starsky in one of the consultation rooms at the clinic and not in his downtown office. He and Hutch had both agreed that it was too dangerous to take the brunet off the clinic grounds.

"Hutch, I want to try something." Steve said, as Hutch made them both a cup of coffee. "I want to put David back on a light sedative. Not enough to knock him out but enough to keep him calm. Maybe it will have some effect on Michael's behavior if he makes another unexpected appearance."

"Do you really think that Richard is going to let you do that?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Using a liquid form and giving it to him in juice or coffee. There's no taste so he'll never notice the difference." Steve paused and then added, "But, you'd have to be the one to give it to him. If you don't want to take the risk then I understand."

Hutch thought over his options and the alternatives if he refused. None of them appealed to him. If he wanted Starsky back, well both physically and mentally, he had to go that extra mile, even if it meant some underhanded deception. He would go to any length to get the old Starsky back again.

"I'll do it." He said, agreeing to Steve's plan.

"Good. I'll go back to my office and get you a bottle of the same sedative I used on him earlier and we'll go over how I want you to give it to him." Steve finished his coffee and left the room to run his errand. He returned shortly and handed Hutch a small brown bottle filled with an amber colored liquid.

"What I want you to do is give him one dose first thing in the morning and then another dose in the evening after supper. Mix two capfuls into a glass of juice or a cup of coffee. You could also mix it into a soft drink. Make sure he drinks it all." Steve looked at Hutch closely. "Are you sure you can do this?"

"If it helps him get better, I can do it." Hutch told him confidently. He reached up and put the bottle on the top shelf of the cupboard behind some dishes and out of sight.

The two friends talked for a few minutes more and then Steve left, leaving Hutch alone with his sleeping partner.

"You're going to get better, Starsky" Hutch whispered under his breath as he looked at his partner's peaceful face. "No matter what I have to do to make sure of that. I need you, Buddy…I need you back so bad. I'm not complete without you. Don't you know that by now?" Even if Starsky couldn't hear him, talking to him this way made Hutch feel better. "I missed you so damn much…I wanted to die too when I thought those goons had killed you. I didn't want to go on without you." He chuckled softly at his own words. "I know how much you hate soapy scenes but you'll just have to forgive me for telling you how I really feel. I don't do that nearly enough but when you get better, that's going to change. I'm going to tell you everyday just how much I need you and what you mean to me." Hutch reached out and let a chocolate colored curl wrap around his finger. Starsky's hair had grown out and was closer to his usual length, the tousled curls soft and silky beneath his fingers. Hutch had always envied Starsky for his thick head of curls. His own hair was baby fine and already starting to get thin on top. His father and his grandfather were losing their hair by the time they were fifty and Hutch knew he would probably follow suit before long. Starsky, on the other hand, would probably still have a full head of curls even when he was ninety.

Hutch was startled when Starsky's eyes opened and he stared at Hutch with a sleepy smile. "Hey," the brunet slurred "Where did you come from, Blondie?"

"Been sitting right here waiting for you to wake up." Hutch answered, smiling affectionately at his partner, vastly relieved that Michael had obviously decided to take his leave.

"Yeah?" Starsky said, with a dirty sounding chuckle. There was a leer in that familiar lopsided grin that Hutch had often seen Starsky use when he was coming on to a new conquest. "If I'd known you were waiting on me, I would have woke up sooner."

Hutch arched an eyebrow at his partner inquisitively. This definitely didn't sound like the normally reserved and aloof Richard. Then it came to him in a flash of insight as Starsky shifted positions, sliding into a seductive pose on the bed. This had to be Polaris, the bi-sexual personality that held all of Starsky's magnetism and sexuality. Hutch self consciously started to move back from the bed.

"Hey, where you going?" The figure on the bed asked as he reached out and groped Hutch between the legs, embarrassing the already confused blond. Any other man who had dared to touch him like that would have been missing more than a few teeth. But, this was Starsky, or at least it was Starsky's body and his familiar eyes looking at him so suggestively.

"I need some coffee…how about you?" Hutch said, bouncing to his feet and making a hasty retreat to the kitchen area. He needed a moment to collect his thoughts and decide how to handle this sudden turn of events. He remembered Richard's warning when he had first told Hutch about the other personalities including Polaris.

Hutch jumped, startled, when he felt Starsky press up against him from behind. The light footed brunet had climbed out of bed and came up behind him without any warning. "What's the matter, big boy? Am I making you nervous?" Starsky whispered in a husky voice as he reached around Hutch's waist with his left arm and grabbed a handful of the Hutchinson family jewels. Hutch squirmed uncomfortably as he quickly grabbed Starsky's hand and moved it.

Starsky's laughter rang out as he slumped down in one of the chairs at the table and looked at Hutch's beet red face. "I wish I had a camera." He said "The look on your face is priceless."

"I'm glad you're enjoying your little game because I'm not." Hutch said a bit more sharply than he intended. He knew that he had to take control before the situation spiraled out of control. This was a side of Starsky that Hutch had seen several times before but never so aggressively and never directed at him.

"Too bad. We could have a real good time and nobody would ever have to know."

"Thanks but no thanks. You're not my type."

"How do you know if you've never sampled the merchandise?" Starsky said with a sneer, bouncing to his feet and grabbing himself suggestively. "I know you're dying for little taste of some good prime cock."

"No, I'm not." Hutch denied, turning away to avoid looking at the spectacle in front of him.

"Then how about letting me have a little taste? Pull that monster out of your pants and let's party."

"I don't think so…" Hutch said, his face flushing red again. "I told you that I'm not interested."

"Too bad." Starsky said with a pout as he sat back down at the table. "You have no idea what you're missing."

"I'm leaving." Hutch said hastily "I don't have to stay here and put up with this." "Spoil sport…you're no fun at all." With those parting words, Polaris lowered his head and gave a heavy sigh. When he looked up, dark, veiled eyes filled with a deep sadness stared at the badly shaken blond who wondered just who he was dealing with this time. In a gravely voice that sounded like it hadn't been used in a long time, Starsky said,

", help…meee…."

"Starsk?" Hutch said in a startled voice, just as those sapphire eyes closed and the body crumbled limply to the floor.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

Hutch quickly gathered up the limp, almost weightless body in his arms and gently laid Starsky down on the bed. He was positivethat, for a brief moment at least, he had been talking to the old Starsky, the core personality. The memory of the incredible sadness and loss reflected for that brief moment in those sapphire eyes was heartbreaking. The broken plea for his help burned into the big blond's soul. His eyes filledwith unshed tears as his heart yearned for the return of his closest friend and companion.

"I'm trying, Starsk. I'm trying." He whispered as he gently brushed back and unruly curl from that beloved face. "Hang on just a little while longer, buddy, till Steve and I find a way to get you of there." Once he had satisfied himself that Starsky was unharmed, merely in a deep sleep, Hutch jumped to his feet and hurried to the phone. He punched line 3 to be connected directly to Steve's apartment.

"Hello?"

"It's Hutch. I just met Polaris and I think I talked to Starsky for a second." Hutch said rapidly, stumbling over his words in his anxiety to rely news of this latest development to Steve. "He seems to be asleep right now. What should I do?"

"Take a deep breath and calm down. Put on a pot of coffee. I'll be there in a few minutes." Steve told him calmly.

True to his word, Steve arrived in record time. He checked the sleeping brunet's vital signs as Hutch looked on anxiously. Satisfied that the brunet's vitals were normal. He turned to Hutch and said,

"Pour us some coffee and then sit down and tell me exactly what happened."

The two men sat down at the table and Hutch began. "I was sitting by the bed when Starsky woke up…only at first I wasn't sure who it was until he started coming on to me…then I realized that it must have been Polaris."

"What did he do?"

"He grabbed me that's what he did." Hutch said, blushing furiously at the memory. "Twice."

Steve couldn't help but chuckle at Hutch's indignant tone and obvious discomfort at the confession. "Is that all he did?"

"Jesus, isn't that enough? My best friend just felt me up and then offered to blow me."

"Okay, okay…I know it's not funny." Steve said,with a soft laugh "But Richard did tell you that he was rather aggressive."

"Aggressive hell…he told me I didn't know what I was missing when I turned him down." Hutch said in a piqued voice.

"Then what happened?"

"Then he kinda lowered his head and when he looked back up, there was this really sad, lost look in his eyes and his voice was hoarse, like it hadn't been used in a while. Hesaid:_ 'Hutch help me'. _I'm sure it was Starsky…the real Starsky. Then he just collapsed and fell to the floor. I picked him and put him on the bed and checked to make sure he was okay. Then I called you." Hutch's voice took on a sad tone when he talked about the brief contact with the Starsky he knew the best.

"This could be a major breakthrough." Steve said in a pleased voice.

"How so?"

"If David…the real David…was able to break through and talk to you…even if it was only for a minute…then that means that he's stronger than the others thinks he is."

"Do you really think so?" Hutch asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"I'm sure of it. And I think he was able to break through because he knows you're here with him."

"So what now?"

"We wait until morning and see what happens. I have a feeling that Richard will be back with us tomorrow. After you give him the sedative at breakfast, wait an hour and then bring him back to my house."

"Are you going to try hypnosis on him?"

"I may not have too. I think one or more of the weaker personalities has already merged with David. I'm just not sure who."

"Is it better if they merge together like that? On their own instead with your help?"

"Sometimes. It's less stressful for everyone involved. But it's not always that easy."

"What do you mean?" Hutch asked curiously.

"Sometimes two personalities can merge that clash with each other and actually create another separate personality that may be harder to treat then the two that merged to begin with."

"So if one or more of the weaker personalities merged with Starsky and that made him strong enough to come out…even if it was only for a minute…then why would something like that happen?"

"Because I think Starsky and the weaker personalities aren't as weak as Richard and the other others think they are. Remember what I said about that strong will that David had being to our advantage?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I think you just saw it in action tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, David came out because he wanted to…because he found a reason to. You."

"Me?"

"Yes. You. What were you doing just before David woke up and Polaris came out?"

"I…uh…was talking to him. Getting kinda soapy and telling him how much he meant to me…how much I needed him." Hutch admitted, unashamed of his admission..

"That could be it. The part of him that is still the original David heard you, even though Polaris came out because he was the stronger personality. What were you doing when Polaris left and David came out?"

"Trying to get away before I got molested." Hutch said dryly, a thin smile tugging at his lips. "I said I was leaving."

"That could have been the trigger that forced David to push through. He thought you were leaving for good because you were fed up with the whole mess. He had to let you know that we were getting through and that he was still in there trying to get out."

"But that's just a theory. Right?"

"Do you have any better ones?"

"No. And knowing Starsky it makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

"In the past whenever Starsky was hurt and I was so scared that he wasn't going to make it, he always seemed to find a way to let me know that he heard me and he knew that I was there."

"It's that connection you two share…that bond that makes your relationship so unique."

"You're right!" Hutch exclaimed in an excited voice, a huge smile on his face. "I didn't even realize it till now…I can feel him again."

"Okay, you're gonna have to explain that one to me." This time it was Steve's turn to sound confused by Hutch's statement.

"I don't know if I can…see, Starsky and I always seemed to know when the other one was in trouble…we could feel it…inside. If I hurt, he hurt and if he hurt, I hurt." Hutch sighed softly and tried to gather his thoughts "That's why I was so sure he was dead…I couldn't feel him anymore…not in here…",he touched his heart just above his heart. "But now I can…I can feel him again." He smiled sheepishly "I know that sounds crazy."

"No, not crazy…just two people who are bonded on the deepest level possible. The two of you actually share the same kind of psychic connection that has been documented between identical twins. Two halves of the same whole, split before birth into two separate but identical human beings. They often speak their own secret language, finish each other's sentences, even seem to be able to read the other one's mind. And you share that same kind of connection with David. Even if you couldn't feel him for awhile, I have a feeling that he could always feel you and he still can."

"Great…I hope you're not planning on writing about this case in some medical journal."

"Naw, I figure I'll just wait until I find out how much they want to give me for the rights to the movie."

"Have I thanked you lately for everything?" Hutch asked. "If it wasn't for you, Starsky might have been shipped out to some looney bin for the rest of his life."

"Yeah, well…what are friends for?" Steve said, "How about some more of that coffee? I don't feel like going home yet. What do you say we order a pizza and stay up all night?"

"Sounds good to me." Hutch agreed with a smile. He reminded himself to call Captain Dobey and Huggy tomorrow to give them an update on Starsky's condition. For the time being, Steve had decided that it would be better if Starsky didn't have any visitors.


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

**Warning: This chapter contains a very graphic description of Starsky's abuse at the hands of the cult. It is not pleasant reading and some readers will definitely be offended. Be advised and read at your own risk.**

**Also, Fan fiction would not let me upload any chapters Saturday and the library is not open on Sunday, so as a special treat, am posting 3 chapters today. Enjoy and send in those reviews!**

Just as Steve had suspected when Hutch awoke the next morning, Richard was occupying Starsky's body. He was already awake and sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and eating some cereal. He smiled faintly as Hutch scrambled out of bed and hurried towards the bathroom to relieve himself.

"Late night last night?" he called after Hutch's rapidly retreating figure. "Next time try getting to bed before dawn."

After taking care of business and brushing his teeth, Hutch splashed some cold water on his face before going back into the other room. He avoided looked at the soggy bowl of fruit loops sitting in front of Starsky who was obviously enjoying his breakfast. Once he started eating, he had rapidly graduated from soft, easy to digest food to solids and was quickly regaining the weight he'd lost during his captivity, but he still had a ways to go before he would be back to his normal weight and physique. Hutch had always been amazed at how much junk food his trim partner could put away without gaining weight while Hutch had to fight to keep off the pounds. But then Starsky had an boundless amount of energy and a higher metabolism compared to Hutch.

When Richard stood up to make his own journey to the bathroom, Hutch quickly poured two glasses of juice and then grabbed the bottle Steve had given him from the cupboard. Following his directions, Hutch mixed the sedative into Richard's drink and then sat both glasses on the table. He was sitting down, sipping at his own untainted glass of juice when Richard returned.

"Thanks." Richard said, taking a long drink of his own juice before finishing his cereal. Hutch pretended not to be watching as Richard finished his juice. The brunet didn't make any comment about the juice tasting any differently that usual which eased Hutch's mind. Even though Steve had assured him that the drug was tasteless, he was worried that Richard still might notice a difference.

Within the next forty-five minutes Hutch noticed a subtle change in Richard's behavior. He seemed to relax and become more animated, not quite so stiff and aloof. The sedative was obviously working its way through his system. When he reminded him that they had an appointment to talk to Steve that morning, Richard nodded and the two men left, walking down the hallway to the room where they had all met the day before with near disastrous results.

"Good morning, gentlemen." Steve said as they entered his office and took seats on the comfortable couch in the corner. "How are you two this morning?"

"I have a feeling I'm doing better than you two." Richard said with a grin "At least I got some sleep last night."

"What can I say?" Steve answered back with a matching grin. "Hutch and I needed to let off some steam."

"Don't you mean you both wanted to gloat because Hutch talked to David for a few seconds?" Richard said with a thin smile on his face.

"You know about that, huh?"

"Of course I do. Who do you think let him come out for a minute?"

"But, I thought you told us that he was too weak to that, too depleted." Steve

Questioned, interested in hearing Richard's response.

"He was…until the two of you started butting in and got things all stirred up."

"And how did we do that?" Steve countered

"By bringing up the idea of some of the others merging with David."

"Did they? Did one of the weaker ones merge with David? Is that what made him strong enough to come out for a minute and talk to Hutch?"

"One of them hell…they all three decided to move closer to David but the only ones who merged with him were Nicholas and D.J."

"What about Gordo? Where is he?"

"Standing beside David but not joined with him yet." Richard answered. "That's why Michael came out and attacked you yesterday…it wasn't because you made me mad. It was because he could feel the others listening to you and moving closer to David."

"And that threatens the rest of you, doesn't it? It scares you because if David gets better, he won't need you anymore."

"You don't know what you're doing." Richard insisted. "You don't know what all those monsters did to him. Remembering it would be too painful for him. He couldn't live with the shame and the guilt." he gave Hutch a sideways glance that seemed to carry a veiled warning. "Or the anger he feels towards you, Blondie, for not being there…for not rescuing him in time."

"We thought he was dead!" Hutch said defensively. "I never gave up on him."

"Yes, you did…when you believed that he was dead you did!" Richard shot back.

Hutch looked stricken by those words but he couldn't deny the truth behind them. He had given up when he thought Starsky was dead and Starsky had paid dearly for Hutch's betrayal. He had paid not only with blood, sweat and tears, but with his very soul and a shattered mind. Hutch silently added that laundry list of sins to the guilt that he carried around inside of him.

"Richard, you said that we didn't know what all those monsters did to David. Can you tell us? It would help us to understand."

"Are you sure you're ready to hear it? I promise you…it ain't pretty and I won't sugar coat it for Blondie over there."

"I think Hutch needs to hear it for himself. He needs to know what happened to his friend…no matter how ugly it was."

"Okay, but remember…you asked for it." Richard settled back in his chair and began his story. "They knew who was David was from the very beginning. Ginger was handpicked to approach him and to find a way to get him into the van. They worshiped the devil, called him their Messiah, and his name was Simon Marcus."

"How did Marcus get them to do what he wanted? How did they know to go after Starsky?" Hutch adding a question of his own.

"They all knew about Polaris. Judas was part of Marcus' original cult. When Marcus and most of the others were put away, Judas carried on in his holy name. All he had to do was wait until the time was right. He knew that the right type of victims, all found in the right part of town, would get you and your partner assigned to the case. After all, the two of you had brought down Marcus and his cult. Starsky deciding to go undercover to try and infiltrate the group just make things easier."

"So Starsky was set up and targeted from the beginning." Steve said

"Of course he was and once they had him, they never had any intention of letting him go. The day they picked him up, they took him to an old warehouse near the docks where some of the others were waiting. They drugged him and then moved him under the cover of darkness to the compound in the mountains. David never had any idea where he was."

"And once they had him at the compound, he was all theirs, they could do what they wanted to him and take their time doing it." Hutch said, his mouth settling into a hard line.

"Exactly. The night they revealed their true plans for him was the first night that Judas sucked his cock in front of the entire congregation. David was severely punished for biting Judas when he kissed him. He turned over to the congregation and they were allowed to touch him, fondle him and hurt him…just not kill him or violate him. Then a virgin was scarified in his honor and he was anointed with her blood in the name of the Messiah. From that moment on, David truly was in the pits of hell."

"We know that they beat him, that they raped him, that they humiliated him. We've both seen the tapes that were sent to police headquarters for Hutch." Steve said

"The tapes were mild compared to most of the things they did to David. He was made to drink human blood, even his own. They taunted him and scarified him in a mock crucifixion. You haven't noticed the nail scars in the palms of his hands, have you?" Richard smiled thinly and took a sip of water from the glass sitting on the desk. "They stopped feeding him unless it was some of the garbage that they intended to throw away. Spoiled meat, rotten vegetables, curdled milk. If he gagged and didn't keep it down, then he was forced to eat it all over again."

"Dear God…" Hutch whispered under his breath

"No, God had nothing to do with it." Richard said "Your God and his had forsaken David and left him without his faith. He was tied outside in the boiling sun for hours at a time without any water to drink. When he passed out from the heat, they threw water in his face and brought him around. And he was always kept naked so anyone in the cult could touch him whenever they chose, wherever they wanted to touch him. There was only one place they were forbidden to touch. That spot was sacred and was not to be violated until Marcus dreamed it so."

Hutch clutched his hands into fists to keep from bolting from the room as the foul description of Starsky's torture and degradation spilled out of that mouth. And he had a feeling that the worst was yet to come.

"David defied them in the beginning. He spit on them and called them names. But they just laughed at him and hurt him some more. They found ingenious ways to cause him pain. One girl was particularly fond of biting his cock after she finished sucking him off and another one liked to stick things in it…needles, pieces of straw, nails… and leave them there until his cock became infected. And he was just as attractive to the men as he was the women. They did their share of sucking his cock too and making him suck theirs. They would come on him and then scoop it up with their fingers and force him to swallow it. If he tried to resist, the punishment was swift and cruel."

"What about drugs?" Steve asked, listening intently to the story and taking notes.

"He was drugged all the time but then so were they. Hallucinogenics, LSD, Peyote, Cocaine…you name it. They also had their own special cocktails that they used during their ceremonies where the drugs were mixed with either blood or semen." Richard glanced at Hutch, sneering at the sickened look in the big blond's eyes. "He used to scream your name sometimes when they were hurting him the most…he'd beg for you to save him…but you never did. Eventually, he stopped hoping that you would and just started praying to die and he did…just not quite the way he expected to."

"Were there any other things they did to him that we should know about?" Steve asked.

"They loved to play head games. There was one girl that they forced him to make love to…when she became pregnant, they told him that it was his baby and that it was forbidden to live. They forced him to watch while they tied her down and cut open her belly and took out the baby, then they slit it's throat and made him drink the blood. Then they threw her body down into the pit where they kept him chained up until her body rotted away. Then they made him bury what was left of her. He had to dig her grave with his bare hands and the entire time he was digging, they kept telling him that it was all his fault."

"Anything else?" Steve asked, the sickening details of Starsky's ordeal starting to wear him down.

"After he killed one of the cult members, they beat him and beat him and beat him until he was more dead than alive. Then they just threw him in the pit and forgot about him. To them, he was dead. He no longer existed. To survive, he learned to catch the rats that crept over his body in the darkness and eat them. He did the same thing with the bugs and maggots that he found in the dirt of his prison. Did you know that if you get thirsty enough you can drink your own urine and not even notice the taste?" At those words, Hutch did bounce to his feet and bolted from the room where he darted into the men's room and promptly lost the contents of his stomach. Sometimes knowing was worse than not knowing. No wonder Starsky's mind had been damaged badly enough for him to create other personas to bear the things he could no longer bear himself without being driven insane.

Richard was sitting placidly in the chair when Hutch finally composed himself to return to the office and even Steve looked unnerved and a little green. As Hutch sank down on the sofa, Steve looked at him somatically and said, "Are you okay, Hutch?"

"No, but I didn't have to go through the things that Starsky did either. My god…how could anyone be that depraved?" he muttered. It was a valid question and one that Steve had no answer for.


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

Since two of the minor personalities had joined with David spontaneously with successful results, Steve had decided to try once again to get Richard to agree to hypnosis. Hutch was still secretly giving him a mild sedative in the mornings and in the evenings and it seemed to be helping to keep him calm during their sessions and more receptive to cooperating with Steve. So far, there had been no unexpected appearances of Polaris or of Michael. Hypnosis might be a way to talk to them under more controlled circumstances.

"Richard," Steve said, as they settled in for their afternoon session. "I'd really like to talk to Michael and Polaris."

"They don't want to talk to you. They don't trust you."

"Would they talk to me if I could find a way to talk to them without upsetting them too much?" Steve suggested.

"Maybe…how do you plan on doing that?"

"By hypnotizing you." Steve said cautiously, prepared for another explosion like the last time. Hutch had moved closer to the desk, prepared to intervene if Michael made another unexpected appearance. This time, however, Richard to be considering the idea but he had some conditions of his own first.

"If I agree…you have to promise me that you won't try to contact David."

"Why not?"

"Because I already told you…he's not ready to face the truth yet of everything those monsters did to him…what they made him do…what they turned him into."

Although Steve had been considering trying to contact David if Richard did agree to be hypnotized, he decided to shelf that idea for now. He had a feeling that Richard could be right. David wasn't strong enough yet to face too much of the truth. He had only forced his way out the one time and had passed out almost immediately.

"Will you let me try if I promise not to try and contact David?" Steve pressed gently, taking advantage of Richard's compliance.

"All right." Richard said.

"Good. Then close your eyes and listen only to the sound of my voice."

Hutch listened and watched as Steve carefully guided Richard through the various steps to put him into a deep sleep. When he was completely under, Steve said, "Richard, can you hear me?"

"Yes…" Richard said in a soft, dreamy sounding voice.

"I'd like to speak to Michael and Polaris. Are they there?"

"Yes. So is Gordo."

"Can they all hear me?"

"Yes."

"Are they willing to speak to me?"

"Gordo and Polaris are…Michael isn't sure."

"Then may I speak to Gordo first?"

"Sure. I'm right here." Richard's voice changed, deepening and taking on a harder edge. "I'm Gordo."

"I understand that you are very close to David now."

"Yes but we are not joined. I am joined with another."

"With another? Who?" Steve asked, somewhat taken back but not totally surprised to find the existence of another personality.

"Curly." He said.

"I see. Is Curly there now?"

"Yes, he is with me. We are one but not the same."

"How are you different?"

"Curly likes to play tricks on people and he knows how to fight."

"Are you different in any other ways?"

"Yes…he wants to join with David but I don't."

"Why not?"

"Because David isn't strong enough yet for us both to join with him."

"Why not?"

"Because of the others…they don't want him to get stronger."

"Because that threatens them?"

"Yes and the secrets they still hold close to them."

"What secrets? Richard told us what happened to David at the hands of the cult."

"We do not speak of that…and he did not tell you everything."

"What didn't he tell us?"

"Michael's secret and the true source of his rage. That's why he doesn't want to talk to you."

"I see. Gordo…may I speak to one of the others now? May I speak to Polaris?"

"I suppose but tell Blondie to watch out…Polaris really has the hots for him."

There was a moment of silence and a strange shifting of the expression on Starsky's face. Then the seductive voice that Hutch remembered said, "Hello, Blondie. Didn't think I'd be seeing you again. Thought I scared you off."

"No…I'm here to help David and I'm staying." Hutch said. Polaris was the only personality that really made the blond uneasy. He was no prude but having a sexually aggressive personality like Polaris come on to him was something he wasn't quite sure how to cope with. He'd seem Starsky come on pretty strong in the past when he was trying to pick up a pretty lady but to have that sexuality directed towards him was unnerving.

"Too bad you won't reconsider what we talked about. David would never have to know. I can stop him from finding out you know."

"How can you do that?" Steve asked.

"By blocking my mind from Richard of course. If I do that, he doesn't remember what happens while I'm out. It's more fun that way."

"Can anyone else do that besides you?"

"Of course, we all can if we need to. Michael has done it more than once."

"Is that Michael's secret? Did he do something that Richard isn't aware of?"

"STOP ASKING SUCH FUCKING STUPID QUESTIONS!" Another voice suddenly yelled, a deep voice that was almost like a growl. It appeared that Michael had decided to step in without being invited. Instinctively, Hutch moved a step closer to Steve in case Michael decided to get violent. He knew that this personality was simply an extreme exaggeration of Starsky's hot headed, volatile temper. That made him the most dangerous of all the personalities and the most unpredictable.

"Are you Michael?"

"Who the fuck else would I be? Polaris has a big mouth and he needs to learn to keep it shut. So does that pussy Gordo."

"Why? What are you afraid they will tell us?" Steve asked.

"I ain't afraid of them telling you nothing. If they do, I'll knock the hell out of them."

"Who are you so angry at, Michael?"

"At those cowardly assholes that did those things to David. They had to tie him up and drug him to get to him because they knew he could take 'em if his hands were free." Michael declared .

"Do you honestly believe that? Even if his hands were free, David couldn't take on so many and hope to win."

"Maybe not…but at least he would have died a man and gone down fighting instead of giving up when things got too fucked up."

"You mean after he was gang raped?" Steve said "That's when you came to be, isn't it? And you took revenge for David by killing that man. You ripped out his throat with your teeth."

"Yeah, and it felt damn good too. Course, I went away and let David take the blame for that."

"You were suppose to protect him. Do you call it protecting him when you let him be almost beaten to death and then thrown into that pit and forgotten about?" Steve pressed.

"I saved him from dying in that hell hole." Michael growled. "I made sure that nobody came near him so that they couldn't hurt him again."

"Who else came near him?" Steve asked with a puzzled frown. "Richard said after the cult threw him in there that they forgot about him…to them he was already dead."

"SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE! NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO COME NEAR HIM AND SHE DISOBEYED JUDAS!" Michael yelled, becoming even more agitated.

"Who Michael? Who disobeyed Judas?" Steve challenged him, sensing that they were on the verge of another breakthrough. "Who came into the Pit that wasn't suppose to?"

"THE GIRL! THE LITTLE GIRL!" Michael screamed as he suddenly grabbed his head with both hands and bent forward as if in severe pain.

"Michael, what is it?" Steve asked anxiously, "Are you all right?"

With another blood curdling scream, Michael fell to the floor and began to thrash around, his eyes rolling back in his head and foaming at the mouth as if he were having a seizure. Suddenly, the body stilled just as quickly as it had been convulsing just moments ago. Steve jumped up from his seat and immediately began taking Starsky's vitals. His heart rate was up and he was close to hyperventilating but other than that, he appeared to be fine. Steve was ready to tell Hutch to call for help when those sapphire eyes slowly opened and stared up at Steve.

"Michael? Are you still there?" He asked, although he was fairly certain that whoever was occupying the body nowwasn't Michael.

"Michael's not here any longer." Said a voice with a distinctive New York accent. "He's gone."

"Where did he go?"

"To David. Michael has joined Gordo in David's inner circle, although neither of them has merged with David yet."

Steve looked startled at this newest bit of information. He hadn't expected Michael to spontaneously align himself with David and he found himself wondering what the consequences of that would be. Michael was the second most dominant personality after Richard. Aligning himself with David made the core personality stronger than he had ever been and put him in direct opposition with Richard for possession of the body.

"Who are you?" Steve asked, hoping to identify this newest manifestation and discover why he had suddenly appeared.

"I used to be Richard, now I am both Richard and myself. And I am also Polaris."

Steve rocked back on his heels stunned by this new revelation. Richard and Polaris had apparently fused but in the process had created a totally new personality that had developed when they merged.

"What the hell is going on here?" Hutch demanded, trying to process the scene unfolding in front of him through a layman's eyes.

"I'm not sure yet." Steve admitted , "Give me a minute to try and find out." He turned his attention back to the new entity. "Do you have a name?"

"Yes. My name is Mike."

"That's Starsky's father." Hutch whispered to Steve. Like the Richard personality, Starsky had taken the other strong, positive male role model in his life and incorporated him into one of his alternate personalities. The brunet had idolized his father and missed him terribly. Although he had died when Starsky was twelve, he had helped to shape Starsky's early personality and gave him the core set of morals and values that he had retained as an adult.

"Why are you here now?" Steve asked the man, as he reached out a hand and helped him to his feet.

"To help the others. To bring them together. To stop the pain. I have always been here…I have seen the world through their eyes and now I see it through my own." Mike replied.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

"Mike, would you let us talk to David?" Steve asked.

"That wouldn't be a good idea right now. Michael is close enough for

David to feel his anger and he is afraid. He needs time to learn to trust the ones who have joined him before you will be able to talk with him. They will give him back much of what he has lost."

Hutch eyed this new personality closely. So far, he was the one who most closely resembled the Starsky that the blond knew and remembered. He had Starsky's distinctive cocky attitude and that familiar strut to his walk, but his speech patterns were those of a native New Yorker. Although Starsky had lived in California for the past twenty years, he had never lost his New York accent entirely, although it had softened and blended with a modified west coast one. The similarities make Hutch yearn even more to be reunited with the original Starsky.

"Mike," Steve said, "Can you tell us what happened that made Michael move closer to David?"

"Of course. He came too close to revealing the secret he is hiding from David and Richard."

"About the little girl?" Steve asked, "Can you tell us what the secret is?"

"Unfortunately, no. It is not my secret to tell. Michael is the only one who can reveal the secret."

"But you know what the secret is, don't you? Even if Richard doesn't."

"Yes. Sometimes some secrets are best remaining a secret."

"Why?"

"Because to have them revealed would be too painful to bear."

"Would knowing this secret harm David in some way?"

"It would make him feel like a monster even though Michael was responsible for what happened to the child, not David."

"Did Michael kill the child?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you more than that. May I go now? I'm tired and I would like to sleep for a while."

"Of course." Steve said. "Would you mind going back to your room by yourself? I would like to talk to Hutch alone for a few minutes."

"No problem. I know my way." Mike said, as he turned and walked out of the room.

As the door swung closed behind him, Hutch looked at Steve and complained, "He seems to be getting worse instead of better."

"On the contrary, David is getting better. Basically, there are only two separate personalities now instead of the original seven."

"How do you figure that?"

"The personality you just met, Mike, has merged with Polaris and Richard to make one personality while Nicolas and D.J. have merged with David while Gordo, Michael and the one Gordo called Curly have aligned with him. That basically creates another distinct personality with Gordo, Curly and Michael becoming weaker as they move closer to joining with David."

"But why did Mike suddenly appear now?" "It wasn't all that sudden. He told us that he's seen the world through the other personalities eyes. That means that he's probably been there all along, just hidden from the others."

"He's using Starsky's father's name, is that who he is supposed to represent?"

"Probably. He represents the basic elements of his personality that David inherited from his father…his integrity, his honor, his sense of right and wrong, his sense of justice…all of the things that made him a good cop."

"And you're sure that you can bring all these sides back together again?" Hutch said skeptically.

"Yes, we've made tremendous progress inthe short time that David has been here." Steve answered, "And once we make contact with the core personality, the original David, I believe that you'll see even more progress very quickly."

"I just want him back." Hutch said plaintively.

"I know you do. And I know that none of this has been easy for you but you're holding up pretty good under the circumstances. And you can stop giving him the sedative. I don't think we're going to have any more problems with Richard or Michael."

"I guess I better get back to my room and see who's waiting for me when I get there." Hutch said, smiling faintly at his own feeble joke. He left the office and walked slowly down the hall to the room that the two friends shared. He found Mike sitting on the sofa, flipping through the channels on the television. To Hutch that was another positive sign. Starsky was an old movie buff but none of the other personalities had shown any interest in watching television or even reading for that matter. Starsky was like a sponge when it came to bits of useless trivia and new ideas. He had taken several college classes over the years working on a degree so that he could move up in the department because without a degree he wasn't eligible to move beyond his present rank of Sergeant First Class.

"Hey," Mike said, with a warm smile as Hutch came into the room. "Did you have a good talk with Steve?"

"Yeah, I did."

"About me or about David?"

"Both."

"You know, David feels safe now because he knows you're here. He didn't feel that way before. He heard you all those times you talked to him when you thought we were asleep. He just wasn't strong enough to reach you."

"Is he strong enough now?"

"Not yet. But soon…as soon as Michael merges with him completely. He needs his anger back before he can really be strong enough to deal with what happened to him."

"Eventually he'll remember everything that happened to him, won't he?" Hutch asked as he sank down in the recliner.

"Unfortunately, yes and most of it will be very painful and unpleasant but he'll have you to help him learn to deal with it." He looked at the big blond and smiled "You feel up to a game of monopoly? I saw a board in the closet."

"You stink at monopoly." Hutch reminded him with a chuckle.

"David stinks at monopoly." Mike retorted with a snort. "You've never played it with me."

Okay. You're on." Hutch agreed with a grin. It felt good to be doing something normal with his best friend again. They got out the board and sat down in the middle of the floor with the television playing in the background. Despite his boasting, Mike was no better at the game than Starsky was, still they spent a pleasant three hours playing the game.

Finally, Hutch called it quits and made them a light supper of beef stew, biscuits and iced tea. He was glad to see that Starsky's usually ravenous appetite had returned. He ate his share and then had seconds. His increasing weight gain was filling out his face and softening his features and he had finally lost his skeletal appearance. Physically, he was almost recovered from his ordeal. Some scars would remain as permanent reminders but, thankfully, there was no permanent physical damage. Hutch prayed that soon the same could be said for his mental health.

With the emergence of Mike, Hutch was finally starting to feel that, eventually, he would have Starsky back again, healthy and whole, just like before. Being with Mike was so much like being with the original Starsky that Hutch could almost forget that Starsky was still a sick man who needed help. And sharing the space with Mike was far better than sharing it with the aloof and reserved Richard or the belligerent, angry Michael.


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

Over the next few days, Steve worked closely with Mike, who remained in control of the body. Together, they explored more of the trauma that had resulted in Starsky's disassociation into the various personalities. As he suspected, Mike said that he had been around from the beginning, coming into being the same time as Michael and Richard but staying hidden in the background. He had stayed in the darkness, watching and listening, absorbing the memories and the feelings off all the individual personalities, while at the same time using his strength to help David as much as he could.

Finally, during one of their hypnosis sessions, David made an appearance. Mike had warned Hutch and Steve in advance that Michael had finally merged with David and that he now carried all of the anger and rage. But they were both surprised to discover that therage and hatred was now being directed at Hutch.

"I have nothing to say to you, Blondie." David snarled, when he made his appearance. "Where were you when I needed you?"

"I thought you were dead, buddy. The last letter we got from Judas implied that the cult had killed you." Hutch said, in defense of his own actions.

"So you just gave up on me! You left me there to rot! You just forgot about me!"

"I never forgot about you!" Hutch denied, the pain and hurt that Starsky's accusations aroused in him evident in his voice. "I tried to crawl inside a bottle because I missed you so goddamned much!"

"What about all the times you kept looking for me even when everyone tried to say I was dead but you refused to accept that because there was no body? That didn't seem to make any difference to you this time!" Starsky said, his eyes flashing with a cold, deadly rage that Hutch had only seen a few times before. It was rarely directed at him. The last time had been after the fiasco with Kira.

"I was wrong. I admit that and I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry I let you down when you needed me the most." Hutch's voice was cracked and broken and he was on the verge of tears but Steve sat back and watched in silence without intervening. Both men needed to clear the air and vent their feelings. Hutch's own guilt at having deserted his friend when things looked so hopeless kept him from saying much in his own defense.

"You're damn right you let me down, you bastard! I depended on you just like always. I needed you and you weren't there so they just kept on hurting me until I couldn't take it anymore!" Starsky's voice was cold and bitter but his own hurt and feelings of betrayal came through clearly in his tone.

"Starsky, we didn't even know where to begin looking for you! Nobody knew where the cult had disappeared to! It was if they had fallen off the face of the earth and taken you with them!" Hutch said, his own voice rising in anger at being verbally attacked by his best friend.

"So you gave up and you stopped looking." Starsky growled. "Some pal you are, 'partner'." He made the word sound like a bad taste in his mouth as he glared at Hutch with an unforgiving stare. His voice rose in anger, "FUCK YOU, HUTCHINSON! I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR EXCUSES!"

"AND I'M TIRED OF YOU GETTING YOURSELF INTO MESSES LIKE THIS BECAUSE YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME!" Hutch yelled back, finally losing control of his own temper. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TRY AND INFILITRATE THE CULT BY YOURSELF! I TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS A BAD IDEA BUT YOU JUST HAD TO DO IT ANYWAY!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Starsky screamed, jumping to his feet, his eyes blazing. "I DON'T NEED YOU TELLING ME HOW TO DO MY JOB! MY ONLY MISTAKE WAS COUNTING ON YOU TO WATCH MY BACK LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO! I HATE YOU, YOU SMUG SON OF A BITCH!"

The outburst stopped as quickly as it had escalated when Mike suddenly reappeared and took control of the body. He looked at the still seething Hutch and said calmly, "You know David didn't mean that. He just needs to take his anger out on someone…he still doesn't remember everything that happened."

"Just enough to blame me for everything. Right?" Hutch snapped, as his anger began to cool.

"He has to blame someone and he's not ready to face the truth. It's still too painful."

"But what he said is true," Hutch said bitterly, "I did give up on him! I did stop looking! I'm the one who betrayed him!"

"You're not the one who hurt him. Judas and the others did." Steve pointed out. "But, they aren't here for David to take his rage out on and you are."

"He can get angry at you. He can yell at you. He couldn't yell at them or get angry without getting hurt and hurt badly." Mike said, but Hutch was still too upset to listen. "He knows it's safe to yell at you."

"Now you're starting to sound like him," Hutch said, jerking his chin at Steve. "I don't need both of you ganging up on me. One is bad enough." Before either of them could say another word, Hutch stormed out of the office and slammed the door behind him.

Steve and Mike stared at the closed door as the tension in the air slowly faded.

"He'll be back." Steve said in a confident voice. "He just needs to blow off some steam."

"I know he will. He can never stay away for long, not when David needs him." Mike said with a smile. "It's that bond between them that kept David from giving up and dying."

"It's a pretty amazing thing to see." Steve said

"Yes, it is. They're both truly blessed to have found each other." Mike stated. "I'm going back to my room now. I'm really tired."

Hutch left the building and walked to his car. He sped away without looking back, needing some time alone away from the confined space of the clinic. Starsky always knew exactly which buttons to push to get to him but he had never told Hutch that he hated him before and that was what hurt the most. He felt as if he really had lost his best friend. The blond wondered if things would ever be the same between them , even if Starsky did recover from his ordeal. He had been so anxious to reach the real Starsky, the core personality as Steve called him, but now he wished that he hadn't. The hatred in his eyes and the venom in his voice had been too much for him to bear.

Hutch drove directly to The Pits. He needed a drink and he needed one badly. Maybe the alcohol would numb his wounded mind and broken heart. The bar was crowded when he arrived. He pushed his way through the crowd, not bothering to apologize to the customers that he rudely shoved into as he made his way to an empty table in the farthest corner of the room. Comments of "Asshole" and "Watch where you're going!" went unheeded, his mind still replaying the hateful words that Starsky had said to him. He slumped down in the booth and tried to catch his breath, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

Diane looked at him in surprise when he ordered a shot of whiskey and told her to bring him the bottle too. She didn't comment but headed for the bar to tell Huggy about Hutch's apparent frame of mind. Huggy nodded and put two shot glasses and a bottle of his finest whiskey on a tray to deliver to Hutch personally. If his old friend was planning on going on a drinking binge, Huggy wasn't going to let him drink alone.

Hutch glared at the black man belligerently as he sat the tray on the table and then slid into the other side of the booth. "I don't remember asking for any company." He said coldly.

"Maybe not, but you look like you could sure use a friend about now." Huggy said calmly, ignoring the scorn in Hutch's tone. "I know I'm not Curly but I'm as close as you're gonna get. I take it that things aren't going very well up there at that fancy clinic."

"Fuck off, Huggy. Go talk to somebody who cares." Hutch said in a nasty tone.

"This time of night nobody cares about anything except getting drunk or getting laid." Huggy said. "And you don't look like you're here to get laid."

"Then just leave the fucking bottle and go away."

"Can't do that. I'd hate myself in the morning if I did." Those solemn brown eyes looked at the big blond evenly. "You gonna tell me what's got you so bent out of shape? I assume it has something to do with that curly haired partner of yours. I thought he was getting better."

"He can get better without me." Hutch said, swallowing his shot glass of whiskey and immediately pouring himself another one. "He made it clear tonight that he doesn't want anything else to do with me."

"Starsky?" Huggy said, with an arch of one eyebrow. "I can't believe that."

"Well, believe it." Hutch said, finishing his second drink and pouring a third one. "He blames me for everything that happened to him. He said that he hated me and he meant it."

"That doesn't sound like Starsky."

"Yeah, well it is now. And I deserve it. I let him down. I let those monsters get their hands on him. I let them hurt him until his mind took a permanent vacation."

"Hey, I was here. Remember? You did everything you could to find him. You tore this town apart trying to find him."

"But it wasn't good enough, was it? I just gave up because I thought he was dead. I forgot about him…out of sight, out of mind. Some friend I am, huh?" Hutch said, the whiskey loosening his tongue and letting his emotions spill out.

"What you are is human." Huggy said gently, "Hell, I thought he was dead too. We all did. And don't hand me that bullshit about forgetting about him. I know better than that. That's why you tried to crawl inside a bottle and never come out again."

"And look how well that turned out." Huggy said dryly. "It sounds to me like Curly's got a lot of anger built up inside of him and he's taking it all out on you because there's nobody else to take it out on."

"Now you sound like Steve." Hutch said with a snort. "It doesn't matter. I'm not going back there."

"So you're just going to turn your back on Starsky because he got pissed at you and yelled at you?" Huggy said quietly, knowing that he was treading on dangerous ground. Hutch's temper was legendary too, especially when anyone dared to badmouth the brunet half of the partnership. "As far as I can see, Curly's got every reason in the world to be pissed off at everybody right now…including you. You trying to tell me that you can't handle one of Starsky's tantrums?"

"Fuck you, Huggy…you weren't there! You didn't hear the things he said. You didn't see the look in his eyes!" Hutch said in a cold, deadly voice that would have made most sane people back off.

"No, I wasn't, but you were. And what did you do? You walked out on him and came here to drown your sorrows in another bottle instead of staying there and trying to make things right."

"How the hell am I supposed to make things right when he hates me right now?"

Hutch said, his voice starting to slur as the alcohol began to hit him and hit him hard.

"That's up to you to figure out, not me. You know Starsky better than anyone else. Deep down inside, he's hurting and he's scared. Who wouldn't be after everything he's been through? Bottom line is the two of you still need each other, now more than ever."

"I don't know what I need anymore." Hutch muttered.

"Well, the one thing you don't need is anymore of that whiskey." Huggy said. He started to reach for the bottle but Hutch grabbed it with a warning glare. Huggy wisely decided to let him keep the bottle. But the least the wiry black man could do was watch over his friend while he drank himself into oblivion and felt sorry for himself. Tomorrow was another day and maybe things would look better to the big blond then.


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER 29**

**A/N: This chapter contains a scene that may be very disturbing to some readers because of it's content but it is also a crucial part of the story. Please be advised of this and do not read if you are easily offended by something that most people would consider to be repulsive.**

The next morning Hutch opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn't whenthe room tilted at a crazy angle around him. As he lay there debating on the wisdom of getting up, his rebellious stomach decided for him. He barely made it to the bathroom in time to fall to his knees, retching miserably as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the commode. When he finally stopped gagging, he started to lean his forehead against the cool surface of the seat until he smelled the offensive odor drifting up from the toilet bowl.

Shakily pushinghimself to his feet, he leaned heavily against the sink and looked in the mirror at his bloodshot eyes and the deep lines surroundingthe corners of his eyes. Looking around, he tried to place his surroundings, realizing after a moment of confusion that he was in the tiny apartment above Huggy's bar that the thin black man kept for his friends when they needed a place to crash if they were down on their luck or needed a place to sleep it off after having way too much to drink. Hutch definitely fit into the latter category.

Hutch looked down at his wrinkled clothes in distaste as he stumbled back into the other room. This apartment held both good and bad memories for the big blond. This was where Starsky had brought him and helped him to kick the heroin cold turkey but itwas also a haven where the two men had often spent the night after a long night of partying after a particularly rough case had been wrapped up. Hutch vaguely remembered his conversation with Huggy the night before and felt a pang of guilt. He had let Starsky down again by running out on him and heading for the bottle instead of staying and trying to work things out. He also felt guilty about the things he had said to Huggy. He knew the black man was just as concerned about Hutch as he was Starsky. He was a good friend to both of them and he shouldn't have treated him that way..

He knew that Starsky was still not himself. Huggy was right as usual. Starsky had every reason in the world to be angry at everybody, especially Hutch for giving up on him. Right now, it was Michael'sinfluence that was fueling the brunet's rage,even if he didn't realize it. The calmer, more rational parts of Starsky's personality still resided in the persona of Mike. Until allthe parts were successfully integrated back into one, Starsky's behavior was likely to remain hostile and unpredictable.

Without bothering to shave or wash up, Hutch let himself out of the apartment and left the bar through the back entrance, using the hidden key that only he and Starsky knew about to let himself out of the securely locked building. He climbed into his car and headed back to the clinic. It was time to deal with his hostile partner head on.

When he let himself into his room at the clinic, it was Mike that was there to greet him. He looked at the exhausted blond and smiled faintly. "Looks like you really tied one on last night. Feel any better?"

"No, not really." Hutch admitted, "It was a dumb ass thing to do and all I have to show for it is a hangover like you wouldn't believe."

"You never could handle your liquor as good as me, Blondie." Mike teased him.

"Oh, yeah? I remember you having a few nights of your own when you regretted it the next morning." Hutch said,with a thin smile.

"Yeah, and you were always there to get me though it with one of your obnoxious cures for my hangover."

"How come you remember things like that and the others didn't?" Hutch asked, with a puzzled frown, as he began to brew a pot of coffee.

"Because Richard never was the memory trace." Mike said , "I was. I hold of David's memories intact, both good and bad. And you're a big part of almost all of them."

"He is with me too." Hutch replied, "Sometimes it's hard to remember a time when Starsky wasn't with me. He's always been there…in one way or another."

"Even when you thought he was gone for good?"

"Especially then. Sometimes those memories were all that kept me going." Hutch said sadly. "And at other times, they hurt enough to make me want to blow my brains out."

"But you didn't. Why not?"

"Maybe because I was trying to punish myself because I blamed myself for not finding Starsky in time to save him."

"But in the end you did find him in time."

"When we went there that day, I still thought that I was looking for his body. I never dreamed that I'd find him alive."

"I think it's time to talk to Steve about putting us all back together again." Mike said somberly. "You need your partner back and he needs you, far more than he realizes."

Hutch turned to look at Mike's calm eyes. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly and said, "Tell me what happened to the little girl. I need to know before Starsky remembers so that I can help him when he does. You said it was something that would make him feel like a monster. What was it?"

"Are you sure that you're ready to hear anymore of the gruesome details?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Tell me. For his sake."

"All right…but just remember, he wasn't himself at the time. Michael was the one in control of the body." Mike said, his warning quite clear. Hutch listened as he began his story. "After Judas and the others threw David in the Pit, nobody was allowed to go near him. He was left alone in the darkness to die. That was to be his punishment for killing one of the cult members. They didn't count on David learning to catch and eat anything that ventured near him, no matter how repulsive. Rats, bugs, maggots…even that unfortunate cat. Or to be so desperate for something to drink that he caught his own urine in his hands and drank it. He was far more animal at that point than he was human. The part of him that made him David Starsky had already been shattered into pieces and the rational part of his mind had shut down. Michael had taken over and wasn't willing to let go.

The girl was only six years old. She must have done something to displease Judas, so he had her beaten and had her thrown into the pit with David. Michael attacked her and killed her. Then he draggedher back into the shadows and left her lay there.

A couple of days later, he decided to eat her like he had done the rats. It didn't matter to him that she was a human being, to him she was just more food."

"My god…" Hutch muttered, a shudder running through him at the images that flooded his mind at Mike's story of the repulsive act that was so incomprehensible to most people.

"But then Michael decided to play games and he let David come out, just long enough to realize what he was doing. It was enough to drive him completely over the edge. That's when David retreated so far inside his own mind, that he never wanted to come out again. He wanted to die more than ever…so he did…emotionally and mentally. He let the others take over completely. That's the one memory that David doesn't want to remember. It's the one that could destroy him for good. That's what the others were trying so hard to protect him from."

"How am I supposed to help him deal witha memory like that?" Hutch asked in a baffled voice.

"The same way you always have…by being there…by being you." Mike told him. "Now, let's go find Steve and see what he can do about getting you and David back together."


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER 30**

Steve listened calmly to Mike's story about what happened to the little girl, then looked at the two men sitting across from him and said, "I'm glad you told me about what happened. Thank you, Mike. It's important that we know before we try to make David whole again. Remembering what happened to that little girl and what Michael forced him to do to her body while he was the one in control could be enough to send him back over the edge."

"You mean that he could splinter into more than one personality again?" Hutch asked, in a deeply concerned voice.

"That…or he could become suicidal." Steve said solemnly.

"Then what the hell do you suggest we do?" Hutch demanded, as the hope of having Starsky back and well again seemed to dim.

"The only thing we can do. Use hypnosis to fuse all the personalities back into one and then keep David under constant supervision as his memories start to return…and we may have to sedate him again."

"Damn it!" Hutch yelled, slamming his fist against the desk. "This fucking nightmare is never going to end…not for Starsky…is it?"

"We 're going to do our best to make sure it does." Steve said reassuringly. "Now, what I want to do is hypnotize Mike and reintegrate all the personalities back into one. Then I want to immediately sedate David and keep him sedated initially, withdrawing him slowly from the medication by giving him a little less each day so that we can control the return of the memories as much as possible and deal with them as they return."

"Is that the only way?" Hutch asked, hoping that Steve would say there was another option besides sedation.

"I know you're worried but this is the only sure way of controlling the return of his memory."

"Okay. I just wish he didn't have to go through all of this just to get better."

Hutch said in a dejected voice.

"David's lucky to have a friend like you." Mike said, "I'm going to miss you."

"Thanks. I hope you won't be offended if I tell you that I'm not going to miss any of you as long as I can have Starsky back. I want to thank you for being there to watch over him when I couldn't."

"No offense taken." Mike told him with a chuckle. He turned serious. "And you don't have to thank me for anything. I was only doing what needed to be done." He looked at Steve. "Shall we get started, Doctor?" He glanced back in Hutch's direction. "Good bye, my friend. I know that you will take good care of my David just like you always have."

Within a few minutes, Steve had Mike deeply hypnotized. In a soft voice, he said,

"David, are you there?"

"Yes." Starsky answered in his normal voice.

"Good…now I just want you to relax and listen to the sound of my voice. I'm sending Mike to be with you. Is that all right?"

"Yes…"

"Good. He's going to help you. When the two of you are back together again, you will feel much better, alive again and not so angry. Do you understand?"

"Yes…"

"Mike, I want you to align yourself with David and when you are ready, the two of you will join as one."

"I'm already there…" Mike's voice said. "We both feel more at peace now and so do the others."

"Good…on the count of three, I want you all to join fully with David." Steve said, "One…two…three…"

A noticeable shudder swept over Starsky's body and, for a moment, his body stiffened as if he were in pain. Then he relaxed, his head dropping forward with his chin resting against his chest.

"David, are you there?" Steve asked.

"Yes."

"Are all of the others back with you now?"

"Yes."

"How do you feel?"

"Calm…relaxed…free…"

"Good. Now, I'm going to give you something to help you relax even more, then Hutch and I are going to help you back to your room. Will you let us do that?"

"Yes…" Starsky whispered in a tired voice. "I feel really tired…"

"I know. You've been through a lot. I'm going to give you a shot now. It won't hurt…just a little sting." Steve picked up the sedative he already had ready and said, "Give me your arm." Since Starsky was left handed, he automatically held out his left arm. Steve rolled up his sleeve and gently gave him the injection. When he had finished, he said, "All right. You can open your eyes now. You may feel a little dizzy and sleepy but that's just the medicine. Then Hutch and I will take you back to your room so you can sleep."

"Okay." Starsky said, automatically opening his eyes. He looked at Steve and then over at Hutch, blinking to try and stay awake as the powerful sedative began to take effect. Steve moved to his right side and Hutch to his left and they helped him to his feet.

Slowly, they began to walk him back to his room. When Starsky stumbled and started to fall halfway there, as the drugs began to shut down his mind, Hutch quickly swept the brunet up in his arms and carried him the rest of the way to his room.

Once he was settled comfortably in his bed, Hutch offered Steve a cup of coffee, which he gratefully accepted. The two friends sat down at the table to talk in quiet, subdued voices.

"Do you really think this will work?" Hutch asked, still concerned for Starsky's well being.

"I'm sure it will. Keeping him sedated will slow down his thought process and in turn slow down the return of his memory. That will give us some control over what he remembers and how much at a time. The sedation will also help keep him calm when he remembers anything particularly distressing or disturbing." Steve explained.

"Do you really think he can handle it when he starts remembering everything?"

"I won't lie to you, it won't be easy…especially when he starts remembering what happened to him towards the end of his confinement. But, that's where you being here for him is going to be even more important than ever. There's only so much I can do to help him learn to deal with what's happened. The rest is up to him…and to you."

"Do you think that he'll splinter again?" Hutch asked, still worried about that possibility.

"Honestly? No, I don't. He has the strength to cope with what happened to him without splintering and this time around, he has you on his side. I think that is stillgoing to be the most important part of his recovery."

"I think you're giving me more credit than I deserve." Hutch said with a faint smile.

"You're still blaming yourself and feeling guilty about what happened." Steve said, "You need to stop doing that. You couldn't have done anything differently."

"Except find him sooner or stop him from doing such a stupid thing in the first place." Hutch said.

"Could you have done either one of those things?"

"No…I guess not." Hutch reluctantly admitted. "Starsky can be stubborn as a Missouri mule when he sets his mind on doing something."

"Hmmmm…reminds me of somebody I used to know. A particular blond that I went to college with…" Steve told him with a grin. "A blond who likes to beat himself up over nothing."

Hutch glanced over at his peacefully sleeping partner and smiled. "I can't help myself." He said "Not when it comes to him."

"That's because he's as much a part of you as you are of him. The two of you are very lucky to have each other. Most people would give their right arm to have a friendship as close as the two of you are."

"Me and thee. That's always been what we've lived by." Hutch said somberly. Hutch put his hand up to his face and pretended to pinch the bridge of his nose so that he had an excuse to close his eyes, concealing the tears, embarrassed by his sudden show of emotion.

"Sounds like the perfect motto for you two." Steve said, pretending not to notice Hutch's wet eyes. He finished his coffee and stood up, carrying the cup over to the sink to give Hutch a moment to compose himself. He knew how upsetting and unnerving this entire situation had been for the blond and it wasn't over yet. Most people would never encounter a disorder similar to the one that had affected Starsky but then most people were never subjected to the extreme circumstances that the brunet had been forced to endure. The fact that he had lived through it was a mute testament to the inner strength of the man and his unique ability to find a way to survive. Steve was looking forward to getting to know the real David Starsky throughout the remainder of his stay at the clinic. He had the feeling that it would be well worth the effort that he had put into helping to restore the brunet's mental health. "I'll leave you two alone. I know he's in good hands. I'll check in on him in the morning. In the meantime, don't hesitate to call me if you need anything tonight…even if it's just to talk."

"Thanks, Steve. For everything." Hutch said sincerely as Steve stood up. Hutch walked him to the door. After he had gone, Hutch glanced over at Starsky again to reassure himself that the brunet was still sleeping and then went into the bathroom and stripped off his clothes. After a long, relaxing shower, he felt like a new man. Dressing in a white terrycloth robe, he went back into the other room and prepared for bed himself. He hadn't even noticed just how exhausted he was, and the fact that he was still hung-over, until now. As he settled into bed, his stomach growled hungrily but he knew from painful experience that trying to eat anything had best wait until morning. Within a few minutes, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, lulled into slumber by the comforting sound of his partner and best friend's deep, even breathing in the bed beside him.


	31. Chapter 31

**I am posting four chapters as a special treat because I probably won't be able to post again until Monday. It is getting really cold here and that makes it diffcult for me to get the library every day to post a chapter. Enjoy and please review if you are still with me. This epic tale would soon be drawing to a close.**

**CHAPTER 31**

The next morning, Hutch opened his eyes to find a pair of sleepy, groggy, blue eyes staring at him from the other bed. "Hey, buddy…" He said quietly, not sure what kind of reaction he would receive from the unpredictable brunet.

"Hey, Blondie…" Starsky's familiar voice drawled with a crooked smile. His words were slurred, a clear indication that he was still under the effects of the sedation. "Whatcha doing here? How did I get here?" Starsky struggled to lean up on one arm, "Where the hell am I?" Besides knocking him out, any type of sedation also tended to make Starsky a bit confused and gave him diarrhea of the mouth. But Hutch didn't care. He was just overjoyed to have his old friend back again, all the different personalities apparently rejoined into one unique personality, the one that made Starsky the individual that Hutch knew and loved.

"You're in a clinic that's run by a friend of mine. He's been helping you." Hutch said, uncertain how much to actually tell him about Steve.

"Clinic? Have I been sick or something?" Starsky asked, a frown deepening between his eyes as he struggled to remember.

"Sort of." Hutch told him "But you're a lot better now and getting better everyday."

Starsky slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Raising his hand, he ran his fingers through his springy dark curls, then down over the morning shadow on his chin. "I need a shave." He said,"It feels like it's been awhile since I had a shave…" He looked at Hutch with a puzzled expression on his face. "Who's been shaving me? You?"

"Yes." Hutch admitted ,"Among other things."

"We don't need to go there." Starsky said, bouncing lightly to his feet. "I'm starving. Is there anything good to eat around here or just that healthy crap that you call food?"

Hutch grinned happily. This was definitely his loveable partner. "There's some of that sugary stuff you like in the kitchen." He said "And there's some juice in the refrigerator."

"Cool." Starsky said, heading in that direction to satisfy his stomach until his bladder reminded him of a more urgent need. He turned and detoured to the bathroom first, giving Hutch time to get up and go into the kitchen area to make a pot of coffee.

He poured a bowl of cereal and put it on the table. He was getting the milk out of the refrigerator when his silent partner approached him from behind, stealing up behind him like a graceful cat, and said over his shoulder "Hey, root beer! I want that instead of juice."

Hutch jumped, startled by Starsky's unexpected appearance behind him, and almost dropped the carton of milk he had just grabbed. It reminded him too much of Polaris sneaking up behind him and copping a feel. "Fine. Get it yourself." He said,as he moved to put the milk on the table.

Starsky did just that, opening the bottle and taking a long, deep swallow. Joining Hutch at the table, he cocked his head to one side and looked at the big blond intently. "My head feels fuzzy. Did that doctor friend of yours shoot me up with something?"

"He gave you something to help you sleep last night." Hutch said carefully, not wanting to upset his volatile partner needlessly. He knew that Starsky would object to being sedated without a good reason and Hutch couldn't tell him the real reason for the sedating him.

"Why? I don't remember ever having any trouble sleeping." That much was true. Hutch had always envied Starsky's ability to fall asleep just about anywhere, even in the back seat of a cramped car on a boring late night stakeout. "I feel like I've been asleep for too long as it is." Hutch ducked his head to avoid the intensity of those eyes. Starsky had no idea just how true those words were.

After they had eaten, Starsky excused himself to take a shower. While he was in the bathroom, Steve arrived.

"How's our patient this morning?" He asked, noting the empty bed and the sound of the shower running in the bathroom.

"Okay, I guess. He doesn't seem to remember anything about the past year. Or if he has, he hasn't mentioned it."

"I suspected that might be the case." Steve said, "The memories are there…they're just repressed right now. His brain needs to reset itself for lack of a better explanation."

"And when it does, he'll start remembering what happened…" Hutch said flatly, not looking forward to witnessing that.

"Yes, probably in bits and pieces at first, then the more traumatic memories will start to return as he gets stronger. That's where the sedation will help to ease that transition."

"I can tell you right now that he's going to fight you about taking it without a good reason." Hutch warned him.

"I brought some in pill form to give him. I'll just tell him that the pills are helping him get better." Steve said.

"You haven't met the real Starsky yet," Hutch said dryly,"He's going to want to know exactly what they're for and why he has to take them if he doesn't feel sick." Hutch smiled at a fond memory. "Even when he is sick, it's still a chore to get him to take pills unless he knows exactly what they are."

Their conversation was interrupted when the bathroom door opened and Starsky came out, still towel drying his wet curls. Starsky looked at Steve for a moment and then said perceptively, "You're Steve. Hutch's friend, the doctor."

"That's right, David. Do you remember me?"

"I remember you talking to me. That's all you seemed to do was talk." He looked from Steve to Hutch and then back again. "You're some kind of shrink, aren't you?"

"What's wrong with me?" Starsky asked, a flicker of fear appeared momentarily in his eyes and thendisappeared. "Why am I here in some fancy private clinic talking to a shrink?"

"I guess I should have told you that Starsky doesn't have much use for psychiatrists." Hutch told Steve with an apologetic smile.

"As I recall, you don't like them much either, partner." Starsky said to Hutch in a mildly reproachful tone. In a more determined voice, he repeated his original question "What am I doing here and why am I talking to a shrink?"

Hutch looked at Steve helplessly, bowing out to let him answer that question.

"David, you've haven't exactly been yourself lately and I've been helping you get better." Steve said, trying to keep the answer as vague as possible until he could determine just how much Starsky was ready to hear.

"What do you mean I haven't been myself?" Starsky demanded, his sharp mind instantly focusing on whatever it was that Steve wasn't telling him.

"You suffered a very traumatic experience that I've been helping you with that."

"Mental problems you mean." Starsky said, eyeing the other man sharply. He looked at Hutch and asked, "Is that it, Blondie?"

"Yeah, pal." Hutch said, knowing he couldn't lie to Starsky. "I'm afraid so."

"That's why my mind is so fuzzy and I can't remember why I'm here?"

"Yes. But you're getting better" Hutch told him with an encouraging smile.

"And I'm positive that you'll recover fully in time." Steve said. He pulled the bottle of pills out of his pocket. "In the meantime, I'd like you to take one of these every morning and one in the evening after you eat."

"What are they?" Starsky asked, eyeing the bottle of pills suspiciously.

"Just a mild sedative to help you sleep at night and keep you from getting too anxious during our treatment sessions."

Starsky shook his head firmly. "I don't like being all doped up."

"They won't dope you up. It's a very mild dosage." Steve reassured him.

"Please, Starsk," Hutch implored his headstrong friend. "Steve's only trying to make things easier for you. Just take the pills, okay?"

"Give them to Hutch." Starsky said, "If he says it's okay then I'll take them. But if they mess with my head, then you can forget about it."

"Deal." Steve said, handing the bottle of pills to Hutch who slipped them into his pocket. He was pleased that David appeared to be cooperating and had agreed to take the pills without any further objections. But, it still remained to be seen just how well he continued to respond to treatment once his memories started to return.


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER 32**

After Steve left, Hutch could tell that Starsky wasn't entirely satisfied with Steve's explanation. Knowing the brunet's inquisitive mind, Hutch had no doubt that it wouldn't take long for Starsky to start asking more pointed questions about what had happened to him. Questions that Hutch was afraid to answer because they could bring back a flood of memories that he wasn't sure that Starsky was ready to handle just yet.

As the brunet sank down on the sofa, deep in thought, Hutch knew that he was trying desperately to remember things on his own.

"Hey, you wanna go for a walk or something?" Hutch suggested hoping to distract Starsky from his thoughts.

"No, I don't want to go for a walk." Starsky said in an irritated voice. "I want to know why the hell my head is so fucked up. Why can't I remember how I got here or why I'm here? Or even how long I've been here?"

"It's like Steve told you, buddy…you went through some pretty bad shit and it messed up your head a little." Hutch said trying to avoid a direct answer.

"With the cult that was butchering those kids?" he asked, focusing on the last clear memory he seemed to have. "I remember you and me arguing about me going undercover to try and infiltrate the group. Did I get in?"

"Yeah, you got in." Hutch said, turning aside to avoid direct eye contact. He had never been able to lie to Starsky and had only done it once intentionally. He was afraid that the brunet would know that he was hiding something if he looked him in the eyes. He should have known that he couldn't hide his feelings from the insightful brunet. He knew Hutch much too well to be fooled for long.

"Something bad happened to me that has to do with that cult, didn't it?" Starsky asked in a deceptively mild tone.

"Yeah, it did."

"Are you gonna tell me or are we going to sit here and play twenty questions?"

Starsky said, staring at his reluctant partner solemnly, as he crossed his arms over his chest in a stubborn gesture that Hutch recognized intimately.

"They knew who you were. They knew that you were a cop." Hutch said slowly, watching Starsky's face for his reactions. "It was all a set up, buddy…just to get to you."

The olive toned complexion paled noticeably. In a voice that was barely above a whisper, he said, "It had to do with Marcus, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did. Judas, the leader of the group, was a member of the original cult." Hutch explained as gently as he could. "They considered Marcus their Messiah."

"They kidnapped me again, didn't they?" His brow knotting in concentration as he tried to remember for himself.

"Yeah." Hutch admitted.

Starsky continued in a strained voice as if he hadn't heard Hutch's answer. "They called me Polaris and said that I belonged to them now." his mouth turned into a bitter smile. "They said I was their gift from their Messiah." He closed his eyes tightly "The rest is still really foggy but I can remember that much."

"Don't force yourself, buddy." Hutch said in a concerned tone.

"That bad, huh?" Starsky said with a decisive snort. "Even worse than the last time?"

"A lot worse. They had you a lot longer than before." Hutch said, immediately wanting to take back the slip of his tongue. He hadn't meant to mention how long the cult had held him captive. It was bound to lead to more difficult questions that Hutch didn't want to address.

"How much longer?" Starsky asked, immediately knowing that the answer was one he didn't want to hear from the stricken expression on Hutch's face. "A few days? A week?" When Hutch didn't immediately answer, he looked at the big blond and choked out, "Longer?"

"A lot longer." Hutch finally admitted reluctantly. "Almost a year."

"A year?" Starsky exclaimed in a startled voice, his eyes darkening with a hint of anger. "And where were you all that time, partner?"

Put on the spot, Hutch knew he had no choice but to tell Starsky the truth. "After about six months, the cult led us to believe that you were dead, that they had killed you and disposed of your body. We didn't even know where to begin looking. They dropped out of sight just after they grabbed you."

"A year? Those monsters had me for over a year?" Starsky said in a stunned voice. He jumped to his feet and brushed past a bewildered Hutch. "I need some air. I'm going for a walk." He looked at Hutch pointedly and added firmly, "Alone. I need some time to think."

"Starsky, let me go with you." Hutch pleaded, concerned about Starsky's state of mind, especially if he started remembering more while walking alone. "Please…you shouldn't go wandering off by yourself right now."

"Why?" Starsky countered, throwing his partner a sharp look. "What are you afraid I'll remember if I'm by myself?"

Knowing that Starsky was deftly backing him into a corner from which there was no escape, Hutch said, "Things I don't think you're ready to handle on your own."

"Things that have to do with why I'm really here. Right?"

"Right."

"I must have really been off my rocker if you're this worried about me remembering what those monsters did to me." Starsky said grimly. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Just how nuts was I, partner?"

"Why don't we talk about that later with Steve. Okay?" Hutch asked in a distraught voice, pleading silently with his eyes for Starsky to agree and not to ask any more probing questions. Starsky hesitated and then finally nodded his head in mute agreement.

"For now." he said "But Steve better have some answers for me when we get back." Hutch knew he had won this round but Starsky wouldn't be put off for long. He just hoped that the more traumatic memories would remain at bay until they met with Steve in a more controlled environment where he could intervene if necessary.

The two men left the building and began to stroll casually around the immaculate grounds of the clinic. Starsky walked along beside Hutch, both men remaining silent, lost in their own thoughts. Still, Hutch could feel the tension that was building up in the brunet at his side. Steve was about to find out that he wouldn't be able to just ease Starsky through his memories of his ordeal as slowly as he thought he could. Patience was not one of Starsky's strong points but getting to the bottom of things no matter what it took to get there was.

They walked for almost an hour before Starsky finally broke the silence. "Just how fucked up am I, Hutchinson?" he said somberly. He rarely called Hutch by his full name unless he was angry or frustrated. From the tone of his voice, Hutch sensed that he was a little bit of both.

"Not so bad that it can't be fixed." Hutch said carefully. "Pretty soon you'll be back to normal." A thin smiled tugged at his lips as he added a familiar taunt. "At least what passes for normal with you."

"Are you sure about that?" Starsky asked "How long have I been here anyway?"

"A couple of weeks…ever since you got out of the hospital."

"And I don't remember any of it. It's like I just decided to wake up and discovered that I was missing almost of a year of my life."

"That's pretty much what happened."

"Your friend had been have some damned good answers and be better at explaining what happened to me than you are." Starsky snorted.

"Let's head back." Hutch suggested "It's almost time for your session with Steve."

They walked back to the clinic and met Steve in his office. He smiled warmly at the two men and said, "Have a seat." he glanced at his primary patient "So, David, have you and Hutch been catching up?"

"Kinda…but not as much as I'd like to." Starsky said, getting directly to the point. "Blondie here seems real reluctant to tell me why I can't remember most of the last year. Can you?"

"You've repressed those memories because they are so painful for you." Steve said cautiously. "They'll come back in time and I'm here to help you to deal with them as they do."

"There's still something that neither one of you wants to tell me." Starsky confronted them both. "So why don't you spill it and get it over with instead of pussyfooting around it? Cause frankly, you're both being a major pain in the ass."

Steve exchanged a glance with Hutch who merely returned the glance with a shrug of his shoulders. This was Steve's area of expertise, not Hutch's. He would have to deal with explaining his mental condition to Starsky. Apparently coming to a decision, he looked at Starsky and said, "David, have you ever heard of Multiple personality disorder?"

"Like the Three Faces of Eve?" Starsky said, mentioning a television movie that he remembered watching several years ago.

"Yes."

"Are you trying to tell me that's what's wrong with me? That's why I can't remember?" Starsky said in an astonished and disbelieving voice. "That's why I'm here?"

"That is what was wrong with you. I believe that we have successfully merged all the personalities back into one."

"How many fucking other personalities did I have?" Starsky growled in a low, dangerous voice that warned Hutch that he was close to the edge.

"All total, I believe that there were eight including yourself." Steve told him.

"So I really was nuts." Starsky said sarcastically. "That's just great. Tell me, doc, are these other personalities gonna take over when I least expect it?"

"No. I don't think you'll have to worry about that happening again."

"Are you sure about that?"

"As sure as I can be right now." Steve told him. "David, this condition is extremely rare and it only happened because of the extreme circumstances you found yourself in. It is highly unlikely that it will repeat itself in the future."

"But you can't guarantee that. Right?" Starsky demanded.

"There are no guarantees when it comes to the human brain." Steve countered. "But I can help you to remember the things you have forgotten and Hutch and I both can help you deal with them."

"Then let's get started." Starsky said firmly.

Over the next hour, Steve patiently led Starsky through his memories of the murders and the initial suspicions concerning the cult. They discussed his decision to go undercover to try and infiltrate the cult and,Hutch's resistance to the whole idea. Then he slowly guided Starsky through his first few days on the streets and his initial contact with Ginger. He remembered the ride in the van and the old warehouse, and then waking up in the hidden compound in the woods but it was after that was when his memories became fuzzy and confused. Patiently, Steve helped Starsky retrieve the memories of his initial fear upon discovering that the cult knew his true identity and the painful and humiliating scene that had followed that revelation. That alone was enough to leave Starsky drained and shaken. Hutch immediately called an end to the session, not wanting to push Starsky any further for one day. Steve agreed and suggested to Hutch that he give Starsky one of the sedatives when they got back to their room so he could get some rest and not push himself to remember any more.

Hutch helped Starsky back to their room and the brunet reluctantly agreed to take one of the pills that Hutch handed him. He swallowed it along with a tall glass of juice and then went to lay down on the bed. Hutch watched until the brunet fell asleep and then slumped down on the sofa, turning the television on low so that he wouldn't disturb his friend.

Picking up the phone, Hutch called Captain Dobey to update him on the latest improvement in Starsky's condition. Dobey listened patiently without interrupting until Hutch was finished.

"How's he holding up?" Dobey asked gruffly.

"About as well as can be expected." Hutch said, "He's pretty shaken up after everything he found out today."

"I imagine he is." Dobey said glumly. "I put through the paperwork to reinstate his medical insurance and put him on an extended medical leave of absence. But, he'll still have to pass a review board if he decides to come back to the force and your friend will have to be willing to testify on his behalf that he's mentally fit to return to active duty."

"We'll have to deal with that when the time comes." Hutch said in a weary voice "I'm not sure that he'll ever be ready to go back on active duty after this." They spoke for a few more minutes and then Hutch ended the call.


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER 33**

Starsky slept through the night but appeared to be restless, tossing and turning, keeping Hutch awake. Finally, towards early morning, the brunet seemed to settle into a more peaceful slumber. Hutch wondered what kind of dreams had been haunting the brunet's troubled mind. Unable to sleep, Hutch got up and decided to fix Starsky's favorite breakfast; pancakes, fried potatoes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Hutch smiled faintly as he cooked their food. Starsky would miss out on some of his favorite foods if he adhered to the dietary laws of his religion which forbid the eating of pork.

It wasn't long before the aroma of the food cooking aroused Starsky from his sleep. Tossing aside the cover with a grunt, he disappeared into the bathroom to take care of business. By the time he was finished with his usual morning routine, Hutch had breakfast waiting on the table along with steaming cups of hot chocolate generally garnished with marshmallows and whipped cream.

"What's the occasion?" The brunet asked as he eyed the feast hungrily.

"Just my way of saying welcome back, buddy." Hutch told him with an affectionate smile. "Besides, you need to put on a few more pounds yet before you're back up to your fighting weight."

"How much weight did I lose?"

"Over sixty pounds." Hutch told him.

"Jesus…" Starsky muttered, realizing how he must have looked at his lowest weight ever. He decided not to mention the disturbing images that had danced through his mind in his dreams the night before. If any of those were actual memories of what had happened to him in the past year, he wasn't sure that he wanted to remember all of the details. "Hutch…how did you finally find me if you thought I was dead?"

"By sheer accident, pal." Hutch told him. "This guy we busted was there partying with some of the girls from the cult one night and happened to see you. One of the girls told him you were a cop and he filed it away until he found a good time to use the information to save his own ass." Hutch's eyes filled with a deep sadness at the memory. "He led us to where the cult was hiding out and we raided them." His voice broke with emotion, "I was convinced that we were there to find your body. I never expected to find you alive…none of us did."

"What made you think the cult had killed me?"

"They…uh…sent us a message telling us that they did." Hutch told him, not wanting to explain the exact circumstances because of the additional questions it could bring up. "Not in so many words but it was pretty clear what they meant."

"How long was it before you found out I wasn't dead after all?" Starsky asked innocently, having no idea of the painful memories that the question aroused for the big blond.

"Almost six months." Hutch whispered .

"That must have been hell for you." Starsky said, his natural concern for his best friend and partner showing in his eyes as he reached out and gently touched Hutch's arm in a familiar gesture of comfort.

"You have no idea, pal." Hutch admitted, in a voice that betrayed the inner turmoil of his emotions. "I started hitting the bottle pretty heavy for a while, even managed to get myself written up a couple of times at work."

"Fuck…I'm sorry, Hutch."

"Hey, it's not your fault. You didn't ask for any of this to happen. We didn't know that this cult was connected to Marcus." Hutch said in hindsight. "Or that this whole thing was an elaborate scheme just so they could get their hands on you. How could we?"

"At least the fuckers are all behind bars where they belong." Starsky said, the anger evident in his tone. "I hope they all rot in hell along with Simon Marcus." His eyes darkened as a memory surfaced briefly. "I spent enough time in their own little private version of hell." He snapped. He shoved back his chair and stood up. "I need some air."

Realizing that Starsky had remembered something painful, Hutch bounced to his feet and grabbed his partner's arm to keep him from storming out of the room. "What is it, buddy? What did you remember just now?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Starsky growled in warning. "So back off!"

"Tell me." Hutch insisted. "Believe me, I know more about what happened to you than you think I do!"

"What do you know Hutch?" Starsky demanded in a choked voice, "Do you know how many times they beat me senseless? Do you know how many times they fed me garbage that was rotten and spoiled?" His eyes darkened dangerously. "Do you know how many times one of them sucked my cock or made me suck theirs…how many times I wished they'd just kill me and get it over with?"

"Yeah, I do." Hutch admitted. "They did everything they could to degrade you and humiliate you and hurt you in every way imaginable. And I hate them for that. If I could, I'd kill every one of those fuckers with my bare hands!" He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm himself.

Starsky suddenly leaned into Hutch, who instinctively grabbed him to keep him from falling. Starsky balled his hands into fists and began pounding Hutch's chest. "I hate them! I hate them!" He yelled hoarsely, tears welling up in his eyes as he broke down. "I hate them!" He sobbed as Hutch wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist and held him close as Starsky gave vent to his rage. "They hurt me, Hutch…they hurt me so bad and you never came…"

"I know, babe…" Hutch said, as his own eyes filled with tears at Starsky's anguish. ""And I'm sorry…I'm so fucking sorry that I let you down. I hate myself for that."

"Help me, Hutch…it still hurts so much…" Starsky whimpered as Hutch gently lowered him down onto the sofa. Hutch sat beside him, cradling him in his arms as Starsky leaned his head against the blond's broad shoulder, exhausted from his emotional outburst.

"Just relax, babe…" Hutch consoled him, gently running his fingers though Starsky's thick, dark curls, a gesture that had always been a comfort to Starsky whenever he was upset or hurt. "It's gonna be okay. We'll get through this."

That was the scene that greeted Steven when he walked into the room a few minutes later. He looked at Hutch for an explanation. "Starsky just had a bad morning. He remembered a few things that were hard to handle."

"David," Steve said gently, kneeling on the floor so that he could look up into David's strained face. "How are you feeling right now?"

"Lousy." Starsky admitted quietly. He had calmed down considerably but remained in the safe haven of Hutch's arms. He had never cared what anyone else thought about the way he and Hutch touched and held each other, especially when one of them needed the closeness of that close physical contact so desperately.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Steve asked him quietly.

"You both know what they did to me, don't you?" Starsky asked in an accusing voice.

"Most of it. Yes." Steve admitted, "The others told us."

"Oh, yeah…" Starsky said sarcastically "All my other personalities. The ones who were there even if I wasn't…that just shows how crazy I really am, doesn't it?"

"No, actually it shows how strong you really are." Steve said, "You found a way to survive a situation that would have killed most men a long time ago."

"Yeah,…instead I let it drive me insane."

"You're not insane!" Hutch declared hotly, "You're just scared and confused right now."

"And nuts." Starsky continued to insist, voicing his biggest fear. His faulty memory and the images that kept flashing through his mind had him terrified. And even more terrifying were the things that he couldn't remember yet.

"David, Hutch is right. You're not insane." Steve told him, "Your mind found a way to protect you, a drastic way, that's true, but still a way to keep you from going insane. You will get better, David…it's just going to take some time. But Hutch and I are both here to help you get through this. You trust us, don't you?"

"I trust Hutch." Starsky said, "And if he trusts you, then so do I."

"Good. Now, I want you take one of the pills I gave Hutch and I want you to rest for a while. Then come to my office for our session." Starsky nodded his compliance and Hutch left his side just long enough to retrieve the pills from where he had put them in the cabinet. He gave one to Starsky along with a glass of root beer. After the brunet had swallowed it, Hutch helped him over to the bed. Steve stayed until Starsky had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.

"What happened?" Steve asked when Hutch rejoined him.

"He remembered some of the things that happened. He remembered them feeding him garbage and some of the sexual abuse."

"The rapes?"

"No, just the oral sex so far." Hutch told him.

"His memory is coming back faster than I anticipated. I think it's time to help him remember the gang rape because that was the catalyst that brought out the Michael personality."

"Are you sure he's ready for that?" Hutch asked in a worried voice.

"No…but I don't think we have much of choice. He needs to be in a controlled environment when he remembers that, somewhere I can sedate him if I need to. I don't want the two of you to be alone if that memory comes back without any warning."

"What about the other memory? About the little girl?"

"He's definitely not ready to remember that yet and I think that memory is so deeply repressed in his subconscious that he may not remember it unless I use hypnosis."

"Does he really have to remember that? Wouldn't it be better to just let that one be?"

"No, there's too much danger of it resurfacing on its own sometime in the future. In order for him to get well completely, he needs to remember everything…to reclaim all of his lost memories."

"There's no other way?"

"No, I'm afraid not. Bring him to my office around three this afternoon."

Hutch nodded as Steve left the room. He sighed heavily, already dreading the afternoon session and it's possible ramifications for Starsky. He hoped that Steve was right in his assessment that Starsky was ready to deal with more of his repressed memories.


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER 34**

Starsky was visibly nervous as the session began with Steve that afternoon. The images flashing through his mind were becoming much more frequent and disturbing. He wasn't sure that he wanted to face whatever this session might reveal. He could feel the memories pushing to get past the barrier that kept them hidden deep within his subconscious mind. As frightened as he was to remember all of the details of his ordeal, he was even more frightened not to. He remembered much too clearly his ordeal at the hands of Marcus' original cult and how long it had taken him to recover from that trauma. And that captivity had only lasted for twenty-four hours.

"I think we're all a bit nervous, David." Steve said with a reassuring smile, instinctively picking up on Starsky's agitation and anxiety. "Would you like something more to help you relax?"

"No more pills." Starsky declared adamantly. "I need to keep a clear head so I canhandle this on my own." Steve nodded, even though he didn't entirely agree with Starsky's decision to try and work through his memories drug free. But, it was within his rights to refuse any additional medication. The laws governing the treatment of patients with a diagnosed mental illness or personality disorder had changed dramatically over the years. They were no longer automatically institutionalized and then forgotten about, locked away from society permanently.

"All right, David…now I want you to think back to when you were being held captive by the cult. We know how much they hurt you…not just physically but emotionally and mentally. We know about the sexual abuse. Hutch told me that you remembered about some of that this morning and that's what upset you. Can you tell me exactly what you remembered?"

"I remember some of the men forcing me to suck their cock…and them sucking mine." Starsky said, his face flushing at the memory. "I remember all of them…touching me…fondling me…hurting me just for the fun of it…by biting my cock or my nipples." His voice choked up at the painful memory but remained strong and clear.

"Do you remember another time, later on, when they did more than that to you?"

"They raped me, didn't they?" Starsky asked, lowering his eyes to hide his shame. "More than once."

"Yes, they did. Do you remember the first time they did that to you?"

"I'm not sure…I think so…" Starsky said, squinting his eyes as he tried his best to remember.

"What exactly do you remember?" Steve asked, gently easing him closer to the elusive memory of that night.

"I remember being tied down on my belly in front of all the others…" Starsky said, his voice falling almost to a whisper. "I remember being naked all the time…" He took a deep, shuddering breath, "I remember hating it because they could all touch me whenever they felt like it." His voice rose sharply "I didn't want them to touch me."

"Could you have done anything to stop them?"

"No…if I tried, they just hurt me some more."

"Just try to relax and let yourself remember that night. Hutch and I are both here with you and you're safe now. It's just a memory that's locked away in your subconscious."

"I…I…" Starsky stammered, a shudder running through his slender form as he tried to focus on the onslaught of images suddenly flooding his mind. "Oh, god…" He cried out, his hands clutching at the arms of the chair where he was sitting. "There were six of them…they all raped me in front of everyone. And they made sure it hurt…they tore me up inside but they didn't give a damn! They just kept raping me!" He suddenly leaned forward, his arms grasping his stomach protectively as he started to gag miserably, emptying the contents of his stomach on the carpet at his feet. Hutch immediately came to his aid, rubbing his back gently until he stopped retching. Starsky instinctively reached out to the big blond, wrapping his arms around Hutch's waist and burying his face against Hutch's stomach as gut wrenching sobs tore from his throat. Hutch wrapped his arms tightly around the brunet and looked at Steve beseechingly.

Steve stepped forward to join the two men and gently put his hand on the brunet's shoulder. "It's going to be all right, David…" He said softly, "Let it out…it's going to be okay."

After several long minutes of heartbreaking sobs, Starsky regained his composure and raised his head, looking at Hutch and Steve with an embarrassed expression on his face. "You still think I'm not nuts?" He whispered in a pain filled voice.

"No. You were a victim of a violent assault…several violent assaults…and none of that is your fault." Steve told him firmly. "What they did to you was terrible…it was wrong. They're the ones who are sick, not you."

Starsky gulped and looked at Hutch "I killed one of them, didn't I? But, it didn't seem like me doing it…it was like I was watching myself from outside my body…"

"It was one of the other personalities, one who called himself Michael." Steve explained. "He was the one who held on to all of the inner rage you felt towards them for what they did to you. He was the one who could attack them and hurt them back without being afraid of the consequences."

"Michael, huh? I wasn't very original was I?" Starsky said, smiling at his feeble attempt at humor. He took a deep, shuddering breath and moved away from Hutch. "You said there were others. Did they have names too?"

"Yes, would you like to know about them?" Steve asked. Starsky hesitated and then nodded his head slightly. To Steve that was a positive step in the right direction. It meant that Starsky was beginning to accept the idea of having had multiple personalities, who actually took over his body in any given situation to deal with the emotions and pain that he could no longer endure.

"You sure you're ready for that, buddy?" Hutch asked anxiously, his concern for Starsky both touching and familiar to the brunet. The big blond could be fiercely protective when it came to Starsky's welfare. In the past, he had butted heads more than once with some doctor when it came to Starsky's medical care whenever he was hurt. He had even fired a couple who had tried to object to what they saw as interference on Hutch's part.

"I have to find out about them sooner or later." Starsky said, more calmly now. "It might as well be now." Steve watched as Starsky reached out to touch Hutch's arm to calm him, using touch the same way that Hutch had used it on him to soothe and comfort. He looked at Steve and took a deep breath. "Okay, doc…tell me about the others."

"All right. Besides Michael there was a personality who called himself Richard. At first he appeared to be what we call the memory trace or the personality who kept all your memories intact and safe. We discovered later that his function actually seemed to be to be to act as the gateway through which most of the personalities came and went." Steve glanced at Hutch and smiled, "Richard seemed to be patterned after your partner here…watching over you when Hutch couldn't."

"I'm surprised I didn't call him Blondie instead." Starsky quipped, favoring his best friend with a tender smile. "Richard sounds as formal as Hutchinson."

"Hey, that was my dad's name." Hutch complained with a smile.

"That explains it then." Starsky shot back, easily falling back into the familiar pattern of bantering back and forth that formed an essential core of their relationship.

"Then there was Polaris." Steve continued with a chuckle. "He represented your sexual side and claimed to be bi-sexual. He could accept the sexual abuse without feeling the same shame that you did. I don't think that Hutch was very fond of him."

"Hey, he groped me!" Hutch said defensively. "And he wasn't very subtle about it." .

Starsky couldn't help but laugh at the offended look on Hutch's face and the indignant sound of his voice. "What's the matter, Blondie? Didn't you like it when I made a grab for the Hutchinson family jewels? You never objected when I touched them before." The smile faded from his face as he tried to picture himself touching Hutch in a sexual way. The idea was so foreign to him that he was almost as shocked imagining it as Hutch must have been when it happened.

"That was different." Hutch declared with a deep flush in his cheeks "You weren't trying to feel me up! You were taking care of me when I was hurt or in the hospital."

"Shall we continue?" Steve suggested, with a smile of his own at the two friends and their playful antics with each other. He could tell that it was helping to ease the emotions that had overwhelmed Starsky earlier in the session. When the two men turned their attention back to him, he said, "Then there were a couple of minor personalities who never made an appearance except during hypnosis or only came out for a very brief period of time. One of them was Gordo. He was the keeper of your confidence and self assurance. Then there was Curly and he seemed to be the keeper of your self restraint and your ability to fight back when challenged." He smiled, "And then there was D.J., he only appeared briefly when you first got here. He represented your lost innocence, your inner child. It was his appearance and Richards that helped me diagnose your problem."

"Yeah, Starsk…I finally met the real little boy inside of you." Hutch said with a grin.

"And of course, there was the real you. What we refer to as the original or core personality. In the beginning you were too depleted and weak to make an appearance except once to Hutch for just a few seconds before passing out." He paused, "And the final personality, the real memory trace, called himself Mike."

"Pop…" Starsky whispered, in a stunned voice, looking at Hutch for confirmation.

"Yeah, I met your Pop too, buddy, and he was just like you." Hutch said. "When I was with him, it was easy to forget that he wasn't really you. We even played monopoly one night."

Starsky laughed. "Pop never could play monopoly worth a damn."

"Like father, like son, huh?" Hutch shot back with a grin.

"Mike wasn't just your real memory trace, he represented your sense of justice, of right and wrong, all the things that make you such a good cop." Steve concluded. "So you see, David…they were just all different parts of you…designed and created to protect those vital parts of yourself so you could survive."

"It's still hard to believe." Starsky said somberly.

"I know but it'll get easier in time." Steve told him.

"Are you sure they won't be back?"

"Yes, but they'll always be with you."


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER 35**

Steve smiled encouragingly at the two friends as they entered his office and made themselves comfortable. He could see that they were both anxious about the session that was about to begin. "I know you're both nervous but try to relax. David, I won't lie to you, this may not be very pleasant but Hutch and I are both here and if things become too stressful for you, then I'll stop the session immediately. The first thing I'd like to do is to give you a mild sedative before we begin to help you relax."

Starsky nodded and held out his left arm, wincing slightly as Steve injected the needle into his forearm. When Steve had finished, the brunet absently rubbed at the injection site and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He hadn't slept the night before, he'd been disturbed by the cloudy images and impressions crowding into his head that had been accompanied by a vague, uneasy feeling of doom that threatened to overwhelm him. He wondered just what it was his mind was trying to protect him from remembering. He already knew from Hutch's behavior that it was something bad, something very bad. He was dreading finding out what it was but, he also knew that this was a major step forward in his recovery.

After waiting for the sedative to take affect, leaving Starsky drowsy and deeply relaxed, Steve said, "Now I want to hypnotize you to help us retrieve the memories that are still locked in your self consciousness. That will enable me to slowly guide you through those memories so that, hopefully, they won't be so traumatic for you. Do you understand, David?"

"Yes…" Starsky said,in a soft voice that sounded far away and sleepy.

"All right…I want you to close your eyes and relax. Listen only to the sound of my voice." Steve instructed.

"Relax and listen to your voice." Starsky repeated to show that he understoodand was under the influence of the sedative.

"Good…David, I'm going to take you deeper into a calm, relaxing place where you'll feel comfortable and safe. Just let yourself go and listen to my voice."

"Yes…"

Within a few minutes, Steve had Starsky in a deep state of relaxation and he glanced at Hutch, nodding that he was ready to begin the process of helping Starsky remember the most devastating memory of all from his captivity. "Now, David, we are going to go back to the time just after you were raped and you killed one of the cult members, do you remember that?"

"Yes…I sank my teeth into his throat until I tasted blood…I killed him."

"What happened then?"

"I was punished."

"How did they punish you?" "They beat me…all of them…with clubs, lead pipes, chains…it hurt…it hurt so bad…" Starsky's breathing deepened and he began to pant as the memory washed over him. Quickly, Steve intervened,

"Just stay calm, David…it's only memory. It's not happening to you right now. Take a deep breath and relax." Starsky did as he was instructed and his breathing slowed down to a normal rhythm. "What happened after they beat you?"

"I woke up in the pit, chained up. It was dark and cold and I hurt… I hurt so bad. I couldn't move…it hurt too much." Starsky said, his voice cracking with emotion at the memory of his pain.

"After they left you in the pit, did anyone hurt you again?" Steve asked.

"No…they just left me there. They didn't even throw me any garbage to eat anymore. So hungry…so thirsty…"

"What did you do, David? What did you do for food?"

"Ate bugs…rats…anything I could get my hands on to eat. I didn't care…so hungry…"

"I know you were," Steve said soothingly. "You survived the only way you could."

"Just like 'Nam…" Starsky muttered.

"How was it just like 'Nam?"

"P.O.W….had to eat bugs and rats there too…" Starsky said quietly, his eyes moving rapidly beneath his closed lids. "Barely fed us…locked in cages…"

"Did being in the pit remind you of what happened to you in 'Nam?"

"Yesssss…bad dreams…so scared…" Starsky moaned.

"Just relax, David…you're doing fine. Rest for a minute and then we'll continue."

After allowing Starsky to rest for several minutes, Steve prepared to delve into the most devastating memory of all. As he began, Hutch instinctively moved closer to his friend's side and laid his hand on Starsky's arm, trying to reassure him as best he could that he wasn't alone this time. Hutch tried to mentally steel himself for what was about to happen.

"All right, David…now think back…did there come a time when there was someone else in the pit with you?"

"Yesss…" Starsky moaned, a deep frown drawing his brows together as he struggled to remember.

"Who was it?" Steve probed gently.

"A girl…a little girl…" Starsky said, in a broken voice. "She was just a baby…just a baby…they told her she was bad…"

"Calm down, David. You're not there now…it's just a memory…try to stay calm…" Steve said softly. "I want you take several deep, slow breathes for me." Starsky did as Steve instructed and appeared to relax.

"What happened to the little girl, David?" Steve asked, voicing the critical question. Instead of answering, Starsky moaned and clutched at his stomach, his head dropping forward against his chest as a deep groan escaped from his lips. "David, you need to tell us…what happened to the little girl?" Steve repeated.

"I killed her…I killed her…I killed her…" Starsky's voice, verging on the edge of hysteria repeated over and over. "I broke her neck with my bare hands…Oh, God….nooooo…please….nooooo….""

"It's all right, David…" Steve said calmly, using his voice to reassure and calm the devastated brunet. Starsky's breathing had escalated until he was close to hyperventilating. It took several minutes for Steve to calm him back down before he was breathing normally again and once more deeply relaxed. Steve immediately decided another break was necessary before they went on.

"Maybe we should stop for now." Hutch said in a deeply worried voice, his only concern for the brunet's welfare. He was scared, scared that he wouldn't be able to handle watching Starsky go through any more trauma and scared for Starsky, afraid that it would be too much for him to handle when he remembered the most traumatic memory of all.

"No, we need to continue. He has to remember…" Steve said firmly. He looked at his old college friend and said gently, "It's the only way, Hutch. You know that. We have to finish this now…for his sake. He won't be able to go through this again…"

"I guess you're right…" Hutch reluctantly agreed, even though he hated to see Starsky put through any more torment. He knew that the remainder of the memory of what happened to the little girl could be enough to destroy him completely. He kept a close eye on the traumatized brunet as Steve continued.

"What happened to the little girl then, David?" He asked "What did you do with her body?"

"I…I…I…" Starsky stammered, trying to force the words out past his parched throat. Suddenly, an anguished scream filled the room as the memory flooded back. Starsky fell out of his chair and to the floor, mumbling incoherently and banging his head against the carpet. "No,no,no,no…." He screamed over and over again. Hutch immediately sank to his knees and gathered the brunet in his arms, holding him tightly to keep him from hurting himself. Steve quickly grabbed a second needle he had waiting on the desk and injected the more powerful sedative into Starsky's right shoulder. Within seconds, the brunet was unconscious.

"What now?" Hutch demanded, glaring at his old friend for answers. Hutch was shaking from the tension and emotion of the past few minutes.

"We take him to the clinic. I want him under constant observation for at least the next seventy-two hours. We won't know his exact state of mind until he wakes up and that won't be for at least five or six hours." Steve said.

"But, he'll be okay…right? Tell me he'll be okay!"

"I hope so…I hope so." Steve said as he picked up the phone to have someone come to his office and help move the brunet into one of the beds in the clinic.


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER 36**

Hutch sat beside Starsky's bed as he had done for the past two days, watching as the brunet thrashed his head from side to side on the pillow, mumbling incoherently under his breath. His eyes were open but he stared blankly at the ceiling with no sign of comprehension, refusing to respond to Hutch's repeated pleas for him to talk. As the blond had feared, the memory of what he had done to the little girl seemed to have driven Starsky over the edge and this time there were no guarantees that he would ever come back. At that point, Hutch would have gladly have accepted the return of one of the alter egos if that meant that Starsky would recover.

Steve was cautiously optimistic that Starsky's condition was only temporary; his mind's way of dealing with something that was so incomprehensible and repulsive to the brunet that he still didn't want to face the fact that he had done such an atrocious thing. As a precaution, Steve had ordered Starsky's hands to be restrained again to prevent him from hurting himself or trying to get out of bed, even thoughHutch had objected strenuously. It broke the big blond's sensitive heart to see his friend in such a devastating condition.

"Please, babe…I need you…" Hutch said hoarsely, repeating the same thing he had been repeating relentlessly for the past two days. "Come back to me…please come back to me…don't leave me…not again…not like this." He took a deep breath and continued, even though his velvety voice was almost gone from his constant talking. "We'll find a way to get through this, buddy…I promise. Just talk to me…please talk to me."

"Hu…s..." Starsky mumbled, immediately claiming Hutch's full attention. It was the closest Starsky had come to saying his name since the terrible scene in Steve's office.

"I'm right here, pal…right here." Hutch said, cupping the brunet's chin with his hand and gently turning his head so that they locked eyes. Starsky's eyes still held a blank stare but,deep down inside his own heart, Hutch could feel the terror and the terrible pain that lingered within the brunet. "Come on, Starsk…you can do it. Talk to me…"

"Nooooo…." Starsky moaned, his first coherent word in days, as he tried to pull his head away.

"I'm not letting you go, buddy…I'm never letting you go again." Hutch said firmly as he continued to stare into thosedeep blue eyes. "You're safe now…you're here with me and I'm not going anywhere."

"Nooooo…" Starsky repeated, his words clearer now and more insistent,"Monster…murderer…"

"NO, YOU AREN'T ANY OF THOSE THINGS!" Hutch shouted"LOOK AT ME! YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU!"

"Monster…I'm a monster…" Starsky repeated, closing his eyes tightly, and shaking his head stubbornly.

"NO, YOU'RE NOT!" Hutch countered, practically yelling to keep Starsky focused on the sound of his voice and to keep him from slipping away again into the murky depths of his own mind. He lowered his voice to the soft, velvety tones that he reserved solely for Starsky when he was hurt and suffering, either physically or emotionally. "I need you, Starsk…please stay with me. Don't go away again. You're not a monster…you're not. You weren't yourself. They're the monsters…they're the ones who did this to you." Hutch took a deep, shuddering breathe to calm himself. "Think about all the good things you done, all the people that you've helped by being a cop." "Noooo…don't deserve to live…" Starsky muttered, his voice sounding broken and defeated. "Wanna die…please, just let me die…"

"NO, NEVER!" Hutch declared. "I won't let you die, Starsky! Do you hear me? I won't let you die! Because if you do, this time…I'm coming with you! I'll eat a bullet…I swear I will!"

Those words forced Starsky to open his eyes. This time they were alert but filled with an almost unbearable pain that almost tore Hutch apart. Those sapphire eyes flooded with tears as Starsky choked out, "No…not you…never you…me…not you…"

"No!" Hutch said insistently, "Neither one of us is going to do anything stupid! Do you hear me?"

"Let me go…" Starsky pleaded,"Please…just let me go…"

"NO, NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!" Hutch raised his voice again. Awkwardly, he gathered the smaller man into his arms, holding him securely against his chest with his curly head cradled beneath his chin. "Never," he whispered against those soft curls. "I'm never letting you go, buddy…never."

Starsky struggled weakly for a moment and then settled down, leaning into Hutch wearily as his resistance slowly slipped away. Hutch held him close, carding his fingers through those curls as the tears fell from his own ice blue eyes. He had Starsky back again and he intended to keep him safe from any more harm, even from the brunet himself, no matter what it took.

Alerted by one of the nurses, Steve came into the room and calmly took in the scene in front of him. He could see that Starsky had obviously had a breakthrough and haddecided to rejoin the land of the living and Steve had no doubt that Hutch was directly responsible for that. He had brought the brunet back from wherever he had retreated tothrough the sheer force of the love that the two men shared. Their relationship was truly a remarkable one and Steve was honored to have been able to witness it first hand.

"It looks like David has decided to rejoin us." He said quietly, smiling at the image of the brunet wrapped securely in Hutch's fierce, protective embrace.

"Yeah, he has." Hutch gave Steve a shaky smile. "But, he's still pretty shaken up and out of it."

"That's to be expected after all he's been through. He should be fine in a few days…especially with all the TLC I'm sure he's going to get from you."

"Can I take him back to our room? He really hates anything that resembles a hospital room." Hutch smiled down at the trusting brunet who was still snuggled up against him.

"Let's see how he's doing in a couple of hours and if he's still doing okay, then I'll consider it." Steve suggested with a smile.

"Thanks," Hutch said gratefully. "Does that mean I can I take off these damn restraints?"

"Yes, just keep a close eye on him." Steve watched with an amused expression asHutch quickly undid the thick leather straps around Starsky's wrists and released him. Almost immediately, the brunet's arms went up and around Hutch's neck as he snuggled back up against him, obviously content and secure. It was easy to see why some people who did not understand their unique relationship would get the wrong idea about the two men and the true nature of their partnership and the deep friendship that they had been blessed with. It was obvious that Starsky drew a great deal of his strength from his friend. With a man like Hutch on his side, Starsky would never truly be alone. Steve quietly backed out of the room, leaving the two friends alone.

Starsky finally pulled away from Hutch and looked deeply into his friend's eyes. His own eyes were still filled with a deep pain and inner turmoil. In a broken voice, he said, "How could I do something so terrible, Hutch? How am I supposed to live with myself… knowing that I did something like that? Something so repulsive and so sickening that I don't want to live with myself…"

"Aww, buddy…" Hutch said, gently running his fingers down the side of his friend's face, smiling when Starsky instinctively leaned into the touch. "It wasn't really you…you know that."

"It was still a part of me…" Starsky argued, "A part that I hate as much as I hate the scumbags that did this to me…"

"It was still a part of you…a dark, hidden part of you…but still a part of you." Hutch said, "It's a part that makes you who you are, one that you control, it doesn't control you…not anymore."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Starsky snorted, "Because if it is…it ain't working. I still feel like shit…I still feel like cutting that part of me out so it can't ever hurt anybody like that again."

"I know, buddy…but I need for you to promise me that you won't try to hurt yourself over this…no matter how bad you feel. Can you do that?"

"I don't know…" Starsky admitted,"But I'll try…because you want me to…"

"That's all I can ask. And I promise you that I will be right here with you all the way…we'll get through this together. Me and thee…just like always."

Starsky smiled at their familiar motto and nodded, leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes, drifting into a peaceful slumber.


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER 37**

Over the next four weeks at the clinicStarsky worked closely with Steve in intense, soul searching therapy sessions, which also included Hutch as part of his therapy, to help the brunet deal with the restored memories of his captivity. He still had trouble dealing with the events that had occurred towards the end of his imprisonment when he had become more of an animal than a human being any longer. But as the days passed, his sessions with Steve, and his long talks with Hutch in the privacy of their room, helped him to slowly come to terms with the events as he grew stronger mentally and emotionally. He still had to deal with periods of deep depression but he kept his promise to Hutch and didn't try to hurt himself. Steve finally put him on some mild anti-depressants to help him deal with the worst of his depression.

After his final session when Steve told him that he was well enough to go home, Starsky and Hutch stayed up late into the night discussing their future.

"I can't do it anymore, Hutch…" Starsky said slowly, opening the conversation.

"I can't go back out there on the streets the way we do…I can't go on being a cop."

"Are you sure, Gordo?" Hutch asked, sensing the smaller man's inner turmoil.

"That's all you ever wanted to do."

"That was a lifetime ago. I don't want it so much anymore. Too much has happened…too many people I care about have died because of me…because I'm a cop. Too many people have come after me just for doing my job…" He smiled thinly. "I came so close to not making it back this time…I don't want to take the chance again."

"I understand, pal…the only reason I stayed on the force this long was because of you…because of us. Whatever you want is fine with me. Did you have anything in mind if we don't go back to the force?"

"No…I was hoping that you did. You always tell me that you're the brains in this outfit."

"I guess going to Bolivia and robbing banks is out of the question, huh?" Hutch said, with a chuckle, voicing an old joke between them. After watching Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid so many times that he could recite the dialogue by heart, Starsky had once told Hutch that they could always go to Bolivia and rob banks like Butch and Sundance did and then go out in a blaze of glory together.

"Yeah, I think my bank robbing days are over." Starsky agreed with a laugh. Hutch smiled. It felt good to hear that familiar laugh again.

"We could always teach at the Academy." Hutch suggested.

"Maybe you could, pal…you're the one with the college degree. With my luck, I'd probably go off on some dumb rookie that pissed me off and get my ass fired the first week."

"We could always open our own business." Hutch said, "Be private investigators. Hutchinson Investigations. What do you think?"

"I think you're nuts if you think I'm going to start a business with you and let you take all the credit." Starsky quipped, "How about Starsky and Hutchinson Investigations. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"I thought I was the brains of this operation. So, my name should come first."

"Naw, that doesn't sound right. It sounds better the other way." Starsky told him with a lopsided grin.

"Only because Captain Dobey usually yells your name first when we're in trouble."

"Chief Ryan and the Police Commissioner won't be sorry to see us go." Starsky said, "But I'll miss Captain Dobey and the other guys."

"And all the pretty clerks and secretaries, and new rookies at headquarters." Hutch teased him affectionately.

"Hey, you did your fair share of putting the moves on any new face you saw." Starsky reminded him. "We even shared more than a few if my memory serves me right."

"Let's do it, Starsk." Hutch said, returning to their original conversation. "Let's open our own business. We'll even do it your way and name it Starsky and Hutchinson Investigations."

"Are you serious?" Starsky asked, looking at his friend in awe. "You'd really be willing to do that for me?"

"Of course I would, mush brain. We're partners. We'll always be partners, nothing will ever change that."

"What if I get sick again? It could happen." Starsky pointed out.

"You won't." Hutch said confidently. "I won't let you because I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

"That might be a little inconvenient when we invite a lady to spend the night, don't you think?" Starsky joked good naturedly.

"Then I guess you'll just have to close your eyes and look the other way." Hutch teased him back.

"Me! You're the one who'll have to close your eyes, pal." Starsky said with a laugh. Hutch joined in the laughter and gave Starsky a heartfelt hug.

"Welcome back, Buddy." he whispered "It was a long, hard road but we made it."

"Yeah, we sure did." Starsky said, "Now, let's talk about our new business. I figure you can handle all the paperwork and filing and all that shit while I work with the clients."

"I don't think so, pal…this thing is fifty-fifty all the way." Hutch told him firmly, throwing an arm over his friend's shoulders as they continued to make plans for their new venture as private investigators.

After Starsky had fallen asleep, Hutch quietly left the building and went around to the tiny cottage in back. Steve answered his soft knock at the door and smiled fondly. "All ready to go back home in the morning?"

"You bet. I couldn't leave without thanking you again…for everything. You have no idea how much it means to me to have Starsky back again."

"Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea."

"He never would have made it if it hadn't been for you. I'll always be grateful for everything. If you ever need anything…and I do mean anything…you just let me know. I can never repay for you for giving him back to me in one piece again."

"Oh, I'm sure I can probably think of something for you to do." Steve chuckled. "What are the two of you going to do when you get back to the city?"

"We're talking about starting our own business. It's time to find another line of work." "You got anything in mind?"

"We're thinking about becoming private investigators."

"That sounds great and I bet you'll both be excellent at it too. I might even be able to use you myself. You can track down the patients that skip out on their bills." The two men shared a laugh and then a heartfelt hug. With a final smile at his old friend, Hutch returned to the clinic and his partner.

**This brings to a close my epic story. I am glad you all seemed to like it and stuck with me. This is by far the longest story I have ever written. It just seemed to write itself once I got started but I've also had a lot of time to plot it out. This will probably be the last story I will be able to post for a while. As some of you already know, we are currently without a home of our own and have been staying with my son and his wife. we have been looking but so far haven't been able to find anything.**

**And, since it is getting cold here where I am in Ohio, it is getting harder and harder for me to get out and walk to the library to get on the internet, so as much as I hate to do it, I may have to take a short break for now until we find a place and I can get back on line myself. **

**Don't forget about the Torino awards that will be coming up soon on the Bay City Library. I was hoping to get this story on there before the deadline but for now, this is the only place it is posted because I can't use the library computer to access my web page so that I can put it there so a notice can be put on Bay City Library. I think the voting starts sometime in January, and I pray we are in our own place by then. Thanks to everyone who had read this story and sent such wonderful reviews. I will be back as soon as I can with another story. I do have some one shots finished that I might be able to post now and then until I am back on line at my own place. **


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